This and That

Posted on February 27, 2010 by 21cm

It’s been over a month since I updated this blog because frankly, I can’t imagine you care and aren’t we all too busy on FaceCrack and (for some of you but not me so much) Twitter? Blogging is so last year! But I think of you internet people and I think of stuff to write all the time and you can count your blessings that I almost never do because mostly it’s the aimless, useless ranting of someone in cranky pants. But mostly things are great so here’s an update.

1). I was tagged by Juls with the Sunshine Blogger award

I’m supposed to tag 10 other people and tell them that I did that. Only problem is I’m kind of out of the blogging loop so I’m tagging you all and thanking Julie for thinking of me. Here are the rules:

Add the logo to your blog
Pass the “Sunshine Award” to 10 bloggers
- Link to your nominees within your blog post
- Let them know by commenting on their blog

I’m sorry I’m not doing a better job of playing along but at least getting this award prompted me to create a post and that’s something, right?

2). My friend Cindy won the swag for the not-an-internet raffle. I made a spreadsheet and had as many lines for each person as they got based on their contribution level. Then I used a random number generator and it gave me a number and the person whose name was on that line won. And that was Cindy which made me very happy and it made her happy, too!

3). I got a job. A real job. The kind that pays a salary and has benefits and stuff. Very excited about that. I will start on March 8.

4). Oceanside is in 28 days. Holy Hell. I’ve been benched since the end of December on and off so the training has been sporadic at best. It’s an ITB problem and it’s getting better but, as anyone who has had one of these issues knows – it’s an on-going battle. PT, foam roller, ice, ibuprofen and rest. I’m doing it all. The PT told me that I can’t inflict permanent damage by training through it (and he said most triathletes do) so I’m going to train with pain and treat it after and just do what I can do.

5). I love Chipotle. Really love it. My new favorite dish is the chicken burrito bowl with 1/2 the rice, black beans, pico de gallo, hot sauce, guac, cheese and lettuce. That’s about 690 calories and Jimmy Crack Corn and I don’t care. Delicious!

6). Did I mention that Oceanside is in 28 days and I’m not ready? I guess I did. Oh well – it will be what it will be.

7). I am so ready for the Olympics to be done. Fie on you NBC for not airing stuff until 8 PM. Could you not have started at 6:00 so you got your prime time slot but so we could have gotten to bed at a decent hour? My god. I know 6-8 is news stuff but I think most people would have been happy with greatly compressed news during this important time of obsession with sports about which we know almost nothing. I mean come on!

8). It’s starting to be light out until 6:00!! At the end of March when we change the clocks life will be bliss again. Can’t wait!

There was more… oh so much more. And now I’ve forgotten and that’s okay. I’m sure you have better things to do than read this.

Posted in It's All About Me, True Love | 8 Comments

5 Fabulous Training Tips!

Posted on January 21, 2010 by 21cm

I got these today in email from the very fabulous Rocktape company and I love them so much I might have to have them made into a big poster to put on my wall. Thanks Rocktape!

1) Two Minute Rule. Don’t get scared by the seven-syllable word in this tip…but physiologically, several changes take place in your body during the first 120 seconds of exercise. Namely, at about that 2 minute mark, your cells begin to more easily utilize oxygen as a fuel, muscle temperature begins to rise, and exercise suddenly becomes easier.

2) Use Irrational Psychology. This is a powerful trick for triathlon motivation, and involves affecting the appeal of one workout choice by comparing it to other choices. Here are some examples. Say it’s time for a 90 minute hard cycling session, and you just don’t have the triathlon motivation to get on your bike and head out. So give yourself three choices, and make two of those choices more unpleasant: Choice #1 – go on a 5 hour easy bike ride; Choice #2 – Do a 90 minute interval run on a treadmill instead; Choice #3 – do your 90 minute bike ride. The 90 minute bike ride suddenly seems relatively not all that bad.

3) Use Very Small Goals. In the middle of a race and feel like giving up? This trick works very well. Tell yourself that you’re going to take just 200 more steps, or 100 more pedal strokes, or get to one more buoy. Promise yourself that at that point you can either A) stop or B) keep going. By giving your brain the reward of having completed a small, intermediate goal, there is a slight infusion of dopamine that occurs which drives you to keep going when you get to that point.

4) Use Extrinsic Motivation. Humans have an innate desire to be accepted, and an innate detest for being rejected. We internally fear being judged by our failures, and crave to be accepted for delivering on our promises. Here’s how to use this principle for triathlon motivation: the next time you’re waffling on a workout, go to Facebook, go to Twitter, go to your blog, or call your best friend or spouse and tell them, “I’m just about to go to workout ______ (you fill in the blanks) Should be fun!”. This tiny social expression will instantly give you a powerful urge to deliver on your promises.

5) Re-Train Your Brain. There is a big difference between wanting something and being prepared to receive it. In other words, it’s not enough to have triathlon motivation goals and want to achieve them. Instead, you must actually train your subconscious to realistically see yourself achieving your goals.

ps- don’t forget to check out my fund raiser with drawing for cool stuff! 1 of the items in the prize basket can not be gotten any other way! Don’t miss out on a five dollar chance on getting a very rare, sold out Chico Bag from the inaugural Levi Leipheimer Gran Fondo!!

Posted in Accolades, training | 12 Comments

Give a Little – Get a Lot

Posted on January 17, 2010 by 21cm

Do you like cool stuff? Do like winning? Read this post and see how you could become the proud owner of some cool stuff and have a feel good moment in the bargain!

Giving is a theme in everyone’s lives right now with the horrifying disaster in Haiti. It’s not a great time to be raising money for health related causes and yet, these diseases continue to plague us regardless of whatever else is going on in the world and we must continue to fight back.

I am participating once again in the ALS Spin-a-thon but instead of just asking for money I’m holding a drawing! I have some really fun stuff that I will be giving to some lucky donor. This includes

1) A Chico Bag from Levi Leipheimer’s Inaugural Gran Fondo (this is a sold out item, people – this is your ONLY chance to get one of these!!)

2). A cycling hat from Eleven Gear featuring the Republic of Anaerobia logo

3). An Aluminum water bottle from Power Flex

4). A copy of Bike Monkey Magazine, also from the Gran Fondo

You can have a chance at this fabulous swag for a $5.00 donation! YOU COULD BE TOTALLY ECO CHIC FOR 5 BUCKS! How often do you get an offer like that, eh??

ALS is a nasty, pernicous, almost always fatal disesease that robs a person of his or her life inch by inch, month by month. It is horrible and random and not all that common and therefore not something drug companies feel compelled to try to cure. It’s up to us to raise the money and fund the research to help eradicate this awful disease. That’s worth 5 bucks, don’t you think?

Here is a link to my fund raising page. It explains how the drawing will work. The donation levels were set by active giving, not by me. I’m happy with 5 bucks. And for that you get 5 chances to win this cool stuff and the chance to help wipe out ALS.

Thanks!

Posted in community, Cycling, PSA | 2 Comments

Wrapping It All Up

Posted on December 31, 2009 by 21cm

This is that day when we wrap up one year and head in to the next. It’s an arbitrary date but it works out because it gives us an opportunity to put away all of the excitement and decorations and the debt and madness of ‘the holidays’ which started pretty much at Halloween, and move on to the next cycle of annual events. Very tidy.

Athletes can reflect on a year of training and racing and assess it for progress, for inspiration, for opportunities to deal with disappointment, injuries, triumphs and lessons learned. January 1 is everyone’s time to put down the cookies and candy and pick up the barbells, put on the running shoes and step up to the opportunity of making this year the best one yet.

For some of us, making 2010 better than 2009 isn’t much of a challenge. I wouldn’t say my 2009 was horrible but it has put me in a fairly precarious place such that 2010 WILL be the year I do something beyond hoping for a great job and farting around training while I await a miracle. I’m happy to say that I read a few status updates today that reminded me that for some people 2009 was a great year. People who had their first child, did their first Ironman (myself included), got a great new job and a beautiful new home – lots of people had a fine, fine year. Lots of people did not so here’s to some economic recovery in 2010 and shiny New Year for All!

I have captured my athletic year in graphics:

Hours trained per month

Miles per discipline per month

Swim, Bike, Run distance/pace

So I trained a bunch and the run and the swim are better and the bike – hard to say. It doesn’t look so good on the chart but there are extenuating factors so it looks like the line is effectively flat. A little disappointing but it’s okay because I found something more interesting. Here are my training volumes in miles per month over the last 3 years:

2007 Training volumes (note the scale on the left)

Yearly Log 2008

Yearly Log 2009

I don’t know how easy it is to see but on the 2007 chart the ‘distance’ axis goes up to 140 miles and on the 2009 chart it goes to 500 miles. The 2008 chart goes to 400 miles. This proves that I have come to love my bike instead of fearing it and of all of things I have accomplished that is one of my favorites.

Wow – boring. Moving on.

I did an iron distance race this year. That should be my favorite thing and in many ways it is but more favorite than that was what happened in the process. I got stronger, I got more confident and I made new friends. So that was the best part. I got to share that day with my first born and her husband and that was also the best part. I finished the race in spite of being in a state of discomfort and that’s admirable but what’s better than that is that there was never a doubt in my mind or my heart that I wouldn’t finish that race. I knew I could I do it – I knew that. And that’s the best part of all.

I have to finish cleaning up my desk t make it New Year Ready. 2010 is going to be dramatic and good because I’m going to make it that way either by landing a job I’ve been working on for months or, failing that, something else. Something good. And I know I can do it – there isn’t a doubt in my mind or in my heart.

Happy New Year!

Posted in Hell Yes!, It's All About Me, Tribute | 8 Comments

Merry Christmas to All

Posted on December 25, 2009 by 21cm

I get a daily update from a group called Story People and today’s read:

What do I get for this? I said & the angel gave me a catalog filled with toasters & clock radios & a basketball signed by Michael Jordan & I said, But this is just stuff & the angel smiled at me & swallowed me in her arms. I’m so glad you said that, she whispered to me. I knew you still had a chance.

I liked it.

There isn’t much ‘stuff’ around here but I am home with 2 of my 3 kids and we are all in good health as opposed to my big brother who is in the hospital recovering from having one of his legs amputated just below the knee. The operation was done to put an end to many years of pain and misery brought on by a motorcycle accident when he was a kid so it’s a good thing but it hurts and a hospital, no matter how friendly, is not a great place to be on Christmas.

So Merry Christmas to all and I wish you all a day filled with love and hope where ‘stuff’ is just the icing on the cake. If you are dealing with illness and heartache I wish you strength and love and some path toward peace of mind.

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Beach 2 Battleship – The Aftermath

Posted on November 21, 2009 by 21cm

When last we left our intrepid heroine she was sitting in a chair just past the finish line holding up her finisher shirt and medal and smiling. The finish line EMT had already offered to take her to the medical tent to be checked out and possibly treated but she declined preferring to go with her own people – her daughter Erin and son in law Marcus.

………

Another volunteer at the finish line asked if I might like to go to the warming tent which sounded great because it was cold and I was shivering. I stood up and was immediately and spontaneously assisted by Erin and and Marcus who held on to me while I staggered over to the warming tent. I sat down, looked around and realized that this is where the food was and this is where the water and the Gatorade were and that I was supposed to be hungry and thirsty and want to consume something. I was just tired, though. Very tired and rather nauseated. I was totally loopy, too.

Someone turned on the fans and as the hot air blew through there I turned to Erin and said, “I think they’re trying to cook us” so we decided to go. They had already put my stuff in the car but I needed my head lamp and gloves which I had ditched just before the finish line so the picture would come out better and I sent poor Erin off to fetch them. Meanwhile Marcus and I started to head over to the water taxi stopping only to look at the results. It showed that one other woman in my age group had finished but it hadn’t been updated for a while so I didn’t pay too much attention. I was in no shape to pay attention, anyhow.

Erin came back and we all headed to the water taxi which was right there, ready to receive us and then take off. Perfect timing! I was barely able to stand. Most of the people on the taxi were spectators and someone asked me how my race was and I replied “That was hard!” which gave everyone a good chuckle and someone said, “you think?” My sense of humor was admittedly a little thin at that point.

Head on a pile books and still wearing my glow stick bracelet

When we got to where the car was I didn’t even want to wait for them to go get it and fetch me at the curb – I just wanted to keep moving until I got there so we did. As soon as I got in the back seat I lay down, put my head on a pile of books and decided I just didn’t care about the seat belt. This is remarkable as I am a seat belt fanatic but I was pretty sure Marcus could get us the 2 miles or so back to the house without crashing and I just didn’t care.

When we got home Marcus assisted me up the stairs because I was incapable of walking without assistance and I headed straight for my bed where I flopped down and shut my eyes. Unbeknown to me, my daughter was a little upset seeing me like that. Then my friend Sharley called and I was telling her about the race and telling her I felt sick and she said, “yeah – you’re slurring your words a little” and I said “uh oh – gotta go – I have to puke!” And I did.

Once I got back on the bed the bargaining started.

Erin told me “Mama – you need to take a shower”

“No – I can’t”

“Okay – you can sleep for 5 minutes if you will take 2 sips of water” So I took 2 sips of water.

Five minutes later, “Mama – you need to get up and take a shower”

Somewhere in there Sharley called back after calling every triathlete she could think of to figure out what was wrong with me and what we should do. Only problem was it was Saturday night at 8 PST and almost no one was around – go figure. Carrie was home and she thought maybe I was severely dehydrated and needed an IV so I told Erin I might have to go to the hospital. That made her feel so much better *cough*

Anyhow, I still couldn’t get up and take a shower so Erin told me that if I took at least 5 sips of water I could sleep for an hour and then she would wake me up and was that okay? And I said yes and drank the water and fell asleep.

At midnight Erin woke me up and I was finally felt well enough to stand so I got the gross clothes off and got clean and then I went back to bed. I probably had to drink some more water – I don’t remember.

In the middle of the night I got up and peed about a gallon. Then I went back to bed. Then it happened again. When I got up in the morning I realized that my kidneys had totally shut down during the run and that’s why I was so sick. Oops! (update – thanks to Anne’s comment below I just checked the ‘tylenol’ bottle and discovered it was not Tylenol that I took on the run – it was ibuprofen. Dang! Never again!!!! and thanks Anne!)

I was fine in the morning, though and finally able to start appreciating my accomplishment, something that alluded me in my bloated, unbalanced, nauseated finish line state. As days rolled by and the congratulations rolled in I felt better and better about it until finally I groked the enormity of what I had done. I think if I did it again I could do it better.

to be continued in the ‘lessons learned’ post…..

Posted in Ironman | 8 Comments

From the Beach to the Battleship – a journey of 140.6 miles

Posted on November 11, 2009 by 21cm

This is my story of my first 140.6 – the Beach 2 Battleship which starts in Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina and ends in Wilmington, North Carolina. I went into this race completely convinced I could finish but even more completely naive about how hard that would be. It was an awakening.

I was not alone in this endeavor. Many of the New Mexico Outlaws of Albuquerque were there including the famous and amazing Dread Pirate Rackham and SW Tri Gal. They stayed at a fabulous house on the beach. I stayed in town and was joined Friday by my beautiful daughter Erin and her wonderful husband Marcus and also by their friends Anne (who was racing) and Wren (who was there to support Anne). The 5 of us stayed in an adorable little place that was way too close to the far turn around on the run course.

Race day dawned far too early as race day always does. I always have a moment where I wonder what is wrong with me that I would so fully embrace a pastime that has me up at that hour, needing to eat food. I get over that feeling as soon as I get to the start and find myself drenched in anticipation and adrenaline and loud music. I forget all about the insanity of 4 AM awakenings and strapping on the food bag when I couldn’t care less about eating and the cycle of race goes on.

It was really cold – so cold that as I walked from the street where we had pulled on our wetsuits and dropped our bags, to the beach where the race started, the sidewalk under my bare feet felt like the spongy stuff running tracks are made of. I was quite certain that the sidewalk was good old hard concrete so I knew my feet were frozen and the blood flow had pretty much shut down.

Once on the beach I decided to test the water which, at 69 degrees felt like a spa. Much better. I did the usual thing (and you KNOW we just about all do it!) and took a little swim and then got out and lined up behind the starting arch. Sadly, we followed the rules and our support people were not with us but they could have been. Others were there. I kept looking around for them to see if they had chosen to sneak down there because I wanted to give my daughter one last hug and wanted to hear one last ‘good luck’ from her but alas, Anne and I had to take care of each other which was okay. And then it was time for the national anthem (they had kind of a nice rendition) and then BOOM! It was time to head for the sea and discover what traversing 140.6 miles felt like.

The Swim –

This race is known for having a ‘downhill’ swim where you are aided by the current. In the athlete meeting the guy had said ‘if you can’t make the 2:20 cut off you have no business being out there because you could lie on your back and make it’ and he wasn’t kidding. I was moving so fast that when I put my face in the water and looked down I thought I could see the sand on the bottom. I knew that couldn’t be right because this is a deep water channel that provides open sea access to fairly large boats so I thought I was hallucinating and that was an uncomfortable thought. But I felt fine and I was swimming well and I was keeping the buoys in my sight (yay!) so I didn’t worry about it. I later figured out that it was the particulate matter in the water zooming past my glasses that looked like sand. The water was nice and for sea water reasonably clear. you could see your hand in front of you and see feet when drafting which I also did.

Here is the path I was supposed to take:

and here is the path I took (thank you NTPers for the Garmin 310XT – it rules!!)

It looks a little like I cut a corner but I was right by a buoy the whole time so no shame. The buoy situation was confusing because they seemed to have them on both sides of the channel and it’s possible that I went by one that was meant for the half and not the full – I don’t know but the big news here is that I did not swim off course! I bought brand new goggles and they performed flawlessly and so did I.

The swim ends at a yacht club where they have ladders going down into the water from the dock. As I headed for a ladder I realized the current was aggressively pushing me to a different ladder to the left so I aimed for that and pretty soon I had to fight to get to it. I climbed up onto the dock, looked at my watch and was beyond thrilled to see 1:00:something. 1 hour!!! I had thought I might see 1:15 instead of 1:30 but an hour flat far exceeded my expectations and I was one very happy woman!

I got stripped and then rinsed a bit under the showers and headed off for transition which was almost 500 yards away, and down the street:

I was moving fast so I’m not all in frame but you get the idea. Happy! Oh how I wanted the whole day to feel like that and I went into this race thinking it would. I’m so funny.

T1 – Foolish Change of Plans

I had originally intended to swim with my arm warmers under my wetsuit and just pull on a jacket, my helmet, socks, shoes and sunglasses and go! It was quite a bit colder than I had anticipated, though so I decided to switch to “‘put on dry arm warmers, etc. and go!” but then, in the 11th hour (i.e. in the changing tent) I decided to also change my shorts. This was a mistake because it took time. T1 ended up taking 8 minutes and I could have stuck with Plan A and been out of there in 4.

The Bike –

The start of the bike took us off the island, through a bunch of stuff and out onto the entrance ramp to the interstate. That took about 20 miles and as I whizzed down the ramp (one of the very few places on this ride I rest my legs) who should be out there cheering but our people – Erin and Marcus and Wren!! That was such a huge boost and a thrill because it was totally unexpected. I was still on a happy high from the swim and seeing them ratcheted me up a few more notches.

Off I went, cruising down the highway and getting passed a lot. I wasn’t too bothered by that because my swim time had been so good. In fact, nothing was bothering me – I was on my way and it felt good. I stopped at the rest stop at mile 30 to use the port-a-potty and low and behold my shorts were now wet, having absorbed water out of my top. That’s why changing t hem was just a big waste of time. Whatev. I got back on the bike and kept going.

Shortly after that a woman rode slowly passed me and started a conversation. “Where y’all from?” and we established that I was from California and she was from Durham, NC and we chatted for a bit and then off she rode. I thought little of it.

There was another aid station at mile 48 and I stopped again for a second and when I started up who should I see but Ms. Durham. I got a better look at her and realized I needed to figure out her age. It wasn’t easy because her leg marking was really faded but I soon discovered that she had the number “55” on her calf – crap. This was one of the 3 women I was competing against and off she rode. Damn! She seemed really steady and strong and I knew I had to stick with my plan (to hold 17-19 mph) so I just hoped I would see her suffering on the run (what an evil thought but that’s racing for you).

Special needs was at mile 64 and I stopped, put water in a bottle that had powdered nutrition, ate a banana, used the port-a-potty, took the sleeves off my jacket, took my over gloves off and off I went and who should come cruising past me but Ms. Durham. Hmmmm… she was working way harder than me but not really making much headway. I stuck with that thought and stuck with my plan.

Not too long after that the wind picked up. It was a cross wind so that wasn’t so bad and it wasn’t so strong – maybe 10-12 mph. I was getting a little tired but I was still in good spirits. My favorite part of the ride was somewhere along here. Painted in the road it said, “caution – big chicken crossing” and I thought, “what the hell – do they have herds of chickens in NC?” and then there it was – a giant sculpture of a chicken. Too funny.

At about mile 70 Durham lady picked it up a bit and I started to lose it. I was getting really tired and I had forgotten to put on more Aquaphore at special needs and my lady bidness was starting to suffer. As we rounded the bend at about mile 75 we started going straight into the wind and it had picked up a bit by now.

I hate wind. I am never very successful at fighting it and so it demoralizes me. My speed had dropped by 2 or 3 mph and I was frustrated and tired. I also didn’t seem to be able to keep up with my nutrition. I was drinking from the bottles every 15 minutes but I wasn’t getting through them which meant I wasn’t getting enough calories. I had only managed to eat 1 little piece of PayDay so things started going south for me.

At mile 77 my dear friend DPR showed up. She passed me and we chatted for a bit and then I encouraged her to take back her pace and get on with her race so off she went. I was just dying and praying for the rest stop which didn’t come until mile 84. So that was 20 miles of suffering with my saddle killing me and my hatred of the wind and frustration mounting. And with that I went to the dark side and felt overwhelmingly cranky which is not a good place to be.

I hated triathlon in that moment. I made a firm decision to drop out of Oceanside because there was NO WAY I would ever sign up for IM Canada and what’s the point of racing in March if it isn’t to sign up for something. I decided that I would just train with my friends because that’s fun but I WOULD NOT even CONSIDER EVER, EVER, EVER doing another 140.6 – NEVER!! Hate this sport; hate my bike; SCREW YOU WIND!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE ME!!! I HATE EVERYBODY!!!!!

I was in no doubt of my ability to finish, though so I focused on how I was chipping away at the miles. The internal dialog was “you’ll soon be at mile 80 and then you’ll only have 32 miles to go. You’re at mile 82 so just 30 to go and when you get to 92 it will only by 20”. I stopped at the last rest stop at mile 101 and ate a banana and got more water and then the U-Haul truck pulled up. There is nothing much worse than the U-Haul truck showing up because it means they are starting to shut down the course. That made no sense from a time perspective but it still freaked me out.

Back on the bike. “You’re at 102 – just 10 miles to go!!…… 105, just 7 miles to go!…..110 just 2 miles to go! You’ve got it!!!” and I was happy to be almost done but not happy. I pulled into T2 and saw my crew and when Erin asked me how I was doing all I could say was “Suffer-fest, baby. 50 miles of wind – ugh”. Handing off my bike felt really good, though.

T2 –

Into the changing tent and again I was deliberating what to do but I stuck with my original plan to just change my shorts, change my shoes, put on my hat, take off my jacket, swap sun glasses and go. That took about 6 minutes which was not great but not horrible.

The Run –

My plan was to run at a 10:45 – 11:00 minute pace, run to the END of the aid station and get what I needed, get it down and keep running. Oh I crack myself up. First of all I have the Garmin set to the wrong ‘smoothing’ so my pace doesn’t really record properly in real time. Second of all I had just ridden 112 miles, 50 of them in misery. I soon abandoned the plan and just motored on as best I could. I did find myself at a 10 minute pace and had to slow down but that was short lived.

I saw Anne heading back in not too, too far after I started. We had a hug and a moment and off we went. I had no idea what Ms. Durham was wearing and I didn’t care. I had started on the run roughly 9 hours and15 minutes into the race which meant I had almost 8 hours to finish and I new I could do that. I never had a doubt.

This run was 6.55 miles out, turn around and head back, repeat. I had already decided that the first 6.55 miles would be just that and the 2nd 6.55 miles would be what got me half way through and the 3rd 6.55 miles would be what got me to the last 6.55 miles and I was okay with that. It was a good way to break it down.

I really felt like I needed to pee so I stopped at the 2nd set of port-a-potties and nothing happened. Hmmm…. Off I went and stopped again in another 2 or 3 miles. Same story. Weird. I knew that was a sign of hypothermia but it wasn’t cold so I figured that wasn’t it. It was getting dark and cold and I really wanted to get back to special needs at the turn around so I could get my jacket and head lamp and sushi hat so I just focused on that goal but I found myself walking way more than I wanted to. I had time, though. I also had a stitch in my side from the automatic urge to ‘hold it’ even though nothing seemed to be happening. I tried to take deep breaths, let go of the muscle tension and just keep going.

I saw DPR out there somewhere near the 1st turn around – I can’t remember if it was before or after but I had this crazy idea she was only about 2 miles ahead of me. It was more like 5 but I wasn’t thinking all that clearly in that moment. It was just nice to see her and she looked fabulous. I was also very happy to be heading back to the T1 area.

At the turn around I got to see Erin and Marcus again and expressed my predictable sadness at having to head back out but also noted that 1 more loop and I’d be done – yay!! I told her I had given up on my goal and was in survival mode but that I would definitely finish. I got my clean jacket, my sushi hat and my head lamp on and then Erin ran with me for a while until she sent me off so she could go back and wait for Anne. I had seen her again and I knew she was probably only about 20 minutes from being done.

I had given up on the whole pee thing by now and I was really struggling to take in calories. I didn’t feel sloshy but I was starting to feel sick. I tried to consume some Gu from my gel flask but that wasn’t working at all. The chicken broth came out so I tried that and it was great. At the next aid station I had some Coke and made a decision to just alternate – chicken broth, coke, chicken broth, coke. Notice something missing? Water. I quit drinking water which was undoubtedly a mistake. I did eat orange slices from time to time and I managed to get down a few grapes. I couldn’t handle anything like bananas or bagels, though.

I did take in some water with some Tylenol and that helped the pain and I was really motivated to finish so I picked up the pace and I ran more. I even managed to run without stopping between aid stations a couple of times and that felt really good. “Really good” was all relative at this point.

I saw DPR about 2 miles or so before the turn around so I knew she had 5 miles or so on me and she was still running and looking great. I was managing but not thriving.

This is the part of an Ironman where what you see on the course is sheer carnage. People who are sick, people who blew up on the bike, people who are limping. It’s kind of a parade of misery but it was almost over so on I went. As I approached the turn around for the 2nd time it seemed like it had moved. I even asked some guy where they were hiding it and why did they move it like that and that was good for a laugh.

The turn around was very, very close to the house we were staying in and I was so glad I didn’t have a key or a phone on me because if I had I would have been sorely tempted to head for home and call in the troops. As it was I ran around that cone with my arms spread like an airplane and every time someone at an aid station said, “you’ve got it! You’ve got this one” I replied ” you bet I do – I WILL finish! This race is mine!” I thought it was kind of crazy that they were saying that because I couldn’t imagine not finishing at that point and it was with that thought that I headed in.

The last thing you have to do in this race is run up over a very long bridge that, like the turn around, had gotten quite a bit longer. Very few people run up this thing so it was a walk to the top and then wheeeeee….. run down the other side, run down the road, get directed to the finish and DONE!!!

The aftermath

I look pretty good in that picture! That didn’t last long, though. I finally understand how someone can run across the finish line pumping his or her fists in the air only to collapse to the ground or start barfing on the spot. I lasted a little longer than that but not much.

To be continued……..

Posted in Ironman | 18 Comments

Rumble Eve

Posted on November 7, 2009 by 21cm

It’s 7:00 PM the night before my big race and I’m ready to rumble. Like everyone who endeavors to traverse 140.6 miles all in a row broken up into a 2.4 miles swim, a 112 mile bike ride and a 26.2 mile run I have to wonder ‘why?’ – why am I doing this? Knowing the answer to that question is really important because as I understand it there will be several times during the day when I ask myself that question and if the answer isn’t good enough I might decide to quit which would be a real shame.

Last night in my effort to find something on TV to keep me company while I caught up on Facebook I stumbled on a show on FitTV about Diana Nyad. Diana was a world class ultra-swimmer. She attempted at one time to swim from Cuba to Florida and was in the water for 42 hours, covering 90 miles before she had to give up. She couldn’t repeat that trip because of Visa issues but she did manage to swim from Bimini to Florida successfully. Makes 2.4 miles seem kind of easy but that wasn’t the best part of seeing that show.

At one time in her life she really wanted to represent the USA at the Olympics. Specifically she wanted to swim in the 1968 Olympics in Mexico when she was 18. Sadly she had some setbacks including a sexual assault by an adult she knew that strained her emotionally and spiritually and a cardiac infection that kept her out of the water for 8 months and sapped her fitness. Those events conspired to keep her from that goal and she approached her final swim meet in high school with a ‘why bother’ attitude – her dreams a pile of dust. A friend of hers noticed how laden she looked and said, “look at the nail on your pinkie. What does that represent as a fraction of the effort you use to swim a race? Why not go into that race and push off as hard as you can and use every bit of your heart and gut and those muscles you’ve worked so hard to develop and swim as hard and fast as you can and when you get done don’t look to see if you are 1st or 8th, just close your eyes and close your fists and think about how you swam that race so hard you didn’t have a pinkie nail’s worth of effort left in you.” And that’s what she did. She came in 6th but it didn’t matter because she was all in on that race and she knew it.

Since then she has filled her life telling stories as a sports caster and she has done many things to inspire others. She works with women over 40 trying to reclaim their lives and with veterans dealing with any number of casualties and issues. She’s done lots of things to inspire and enrich the lives of others.

At the end of the show she talked about how there is so much to do and so many people to help and so much to experience that no one can do it all – you just can’t. But when her time comes she knows that she will close her eyes and know that she lived her life so that she couldn’t have done one pinkie nail more than she did.

And that, as it turns out, is my ‘reason’. I also do a lot of “things” – I’m a CASA volunteer (and just signed on to be a team leader and help other CASAs) and I’m on the BOD of my race club and I started the new triathlete program last year and will continue it next year and I “do” stuff; it’s who I am. This race and presumably my impending accomplishment in finishing it is one of many things I am doing not to win, not to be the best, not make someone else happy, not for glory or fame, but as another component of living my life with every bit of spirit and effort and joy I can.

Thanks

Getting to a race like this is never a solo effort.

Thanks go to my Coach Tammy Metzer of Tempo Multisport who has taken me from a ‘no way I can do this’ nervous breakdown to feeling 100% confident in my ability to finish. I feel strong and I feel great and she got me here so thank you Coach Tammy!!

My kids have been a huge source of encouragement and inspiration. That’s one of a bazillion reasons I love them so much and want to make them ever more proud of their Mama.

My friend Sharley took me under her wing and trained with me quite a bit over the last couple of months and it’s been great. Kelby, too. Both of them have been great at beating me into shape encouraging me to go a little harder and a little faster than I wanted to. Dana and Maggs and Kat and Harold and Julie and Christy and Patrick all get thanks for hours logged training together. Kudos to Vali for endless cheering and excitement for me (but we really didn’t get much of a chance to train together – baby that knee!) Chris and Monica are my forever coaches and Joe is my forever font of wisdom and calm. Thank you to Dana and to Sharely for putting together send off/good luck gatherings for me and thanks to everyone who came – it meant the world. And it means the world to me to know that so very many people are watching me and rooting for me and sending their good vibes.

And on that note – LET’S RUMBLE!!!

Posted in community, Dreams, Events, Ironman, Racing, triathlon | 5 Comments

Ironman Anxiety Dream #278,605

Posted on October 30, 2009 by 21cm

Everyone has them – the race anxiety dream. They are not limited to iron distance races but they are de rigueur for them and I was getting a little concerned that mine had not yet shown up. I was worried that perhaps I was feeling a little too good and didn’t have the proper respect for the distance. And then it happened.

I was on the swim and I was swimming between my friends Sharley and Dana, neither of whom are doing this race and both of whom swim much, much faster than me so I was happy! I think we might have even been chatting a bit, the way you can do in a dream. I had some sense that we were well behind the pack but the water felt good and I kept thinking ‘this isn’t bad- this water feels pretty nice and I’m not cold at all’. When we got to shore I realized I was wearing my fleece boots the entire time. No wonder everyone else was done.

The swim ended in a concrete warehouse and the 1 or 2 remaining volunteers were ignoring me. No help for Miss Fuzzy Boots. I looked up and asked someone ‘aren’t you going to help me get my wetsuit off? And they said everyone was done and I’d have to do my best. I was still sort of marveling over those boots – I couldn’t believe I had swum 2.4 miles in them but oh well – at least I was warm!

Then I was wondering ‘where’s my bike’ and someone brought me a comfort bike – you know the ones with the straight handlebars. I thought ‘wait a minute – where is my stuff? Where is my transition area?’ and I realized I didn’t have one. I had no bike, no bike stuff and no run stuff and nothing was mine but all the while I was thinking “Fine – I’ll ride this bike – I’ll ride any bike – I WILL DO THIS RACE!” Then I thought ‘wait a minute – there’s no way I would show up for a race and not set up in transition. And then I knew I was dreaming and it really couldn’t be happening and I made myself wake up.

Instead of having heart palpitations and thinking “OMG – I’m so nervous’ I was relieved because I’m right on track – right up to the bad dream. There are just 7 days left on the countdown calendar and then it’s show time. I wonder how many more dreams I can squeeze in before then?

Posted in Dreams, Ironman | 11 Comments

Over the Top

Posted on October 24, 2009 by 21cm

I can’t believe I got from last weekend to this weekend without writing about the fabulosity that was those 2 days, a week ago. I think that’s how it goes. I figure I’d better spit it out before I have another weekend to recount because I know you all yearn to live vicariously through my incredible weekends. You know – the ones that start with me sitting at home alone on Friday blogging.

Anyhow – last weekend I did 2 things (in addition to sitting in front of the TV playing on my laptop). On Saturday I went for a long ride with my new cycling BFFs Sharley and Kelby. And to my already existing cycling BFFs no worries – I have room for a legion of BFFs in my life, particularly those who attempt to rescue me from Friday nights at home alone as Vali tried to do last Friday when I turned her down on going out for Margaritas. But I digres….

Our ride took us out to the wilds where the windmills whop, whop, whop their way to lighting our lives only it wasn’t windy and the windmills were still – all of them! We didn’t pre-plan the route and extemporaneously decided to ride the infamous Patterson Pass Rd. I had never done it before but I had heard it was a pretty good climb. If I had had any idea exactly what that meant I would have changed the plan but innocence really is bliss some times.

The climb starts with a ‘false flat’ that is so very false you swear you are going downhill based on what your eyes perceive and yet you are in the granny gear working your ass off and not moving very fast. It was bizarre to the point of being mind altering. The physical experience did not match the visual – it was sort of like one of those pre-race dreams where you are trying really hard but something surreal keeps getting in your way.

After that it just starts climbing up and up and up and then you get to the the top – only you aren’t. But there is a flat spot where we stopped for a minute and when I looked up and saw that we had an even steeper climb ahead of us all I could think of was ‘holy crap balls – that is Dr. Suess land!’ (click here to get to a page of pictures of the real thing)

Dr. Suessian Hills

I stood there, looking up thinking “No can do – I just can’t get up there” and I begged to turn back and I was turned down because back was going to be as hard as forward and I said “I can’t do this” and Sharley thought but didn’t say “and what do you think you’ll do?” and I thought but didn’t say “I’ll be walking my bike up that hill”.

But I did not walk. I rode. I pedaled and pedaled and pedaled and I told myself ‘just turn the cranks 10 more times… oh wait – 10 more… okay fine, 10 more” and then I was at the top. I redlined my heart rate on the way (178) and I got that creepy, hair standing on end feeling on the top of my head but I did it and life got very, very good at that point. Mostly because we got to go downhill but also because of the way I felt. It was a perfect day.

Dr. Suessville Elevation Chart

Sunday I ran the Nike Women’s Half Marathon. I ran it like I will run the marathon at Beach 2 Battleship which is to say at a very slow pace. I practiced that pace 10:30 – 11:00/mile and I came in at 2:29 something which is 11:22/mile but it’s hilly and I forgot to account for that. It wasn’t a PR by time (although not a PW, either) but a year ago if someone had told me I would do a hard, “I can’t do it”, redline ride for 3 and half hours the day before I ran 13.1 really hilly miles I would have told them ‘no way – no can do’. I would have whined and refused to even consider the possibility whereas this year I looked forward to the opportunity to test my legs and I was comfortable with the test results.

And that is why I am over the top giddy with excitement for my race. I can do this. I can push through and I can pace myself and I will finish and it will be another perfect day.

Posted in Cycling, Fun in a tub, Hell Yes!, Ironman, Running | 8 Comments