So – I haven’t written about it but I signed up for IM Canada again. I’ve seen a podiatrist and my foot issues are under control. I have a coach and a plan and I am training. It’s going well and I’m excited.
I just decided to compare my training volume from last year to this year to make myself feel really good about how hard I am working and you know what I found? I was training a year ago. Not as well as now, not as deliberately but I was training. I could have done that race if I could have found the heart. And you know what contributed to me not finding the heart? My friends who said, “if you aren’t in to it don’t do it”. That is a very, very bad piece of advice to give someone looking for an excuse to back out. It would have been really great if someone would have said, “think carefully before you bail – once you quit you’re done”. That’s what I would say.
So I quit and I spent months whining and hating on myself. I stopped trying. Big mistake. Huge mistake.
It didn’t help that I had a job that owned me (I have a new job now) or that I had no faith in myself. It didn’t help that I was feeling like a failure and hating on the whole world. I’m not sure any words from anyone could have turned me around but I am sure that helping someone quit when they are down in the dumps is not a good thing to do. Don’t do that. Ask questions. Offer support. Don’t give advice.
I’m back in the saddle and working hard and I have many days where I think it’s stupid and I feel crappy and I’m still suffering some odd and unjustified malaise but I’m pushing through and doing things that are hard that I don’t want to do and I’m feeling stronger. I’m on my side now and so are my friends and it’s good – it’s really good.