The Reluctant Triathlete

I’m trying to be a triathlete – I really am. I have an event scheduled and it is coming up soon – very soon. Wildflower Olympic distance on May 6. My enthusiasm for this event waxes and wanes hourly. I get excited about going mostly because I get to meet a whole bunch of great bloggers – Carrie, and Tri-Mama and Taconite Boy, the whole RaceAthlete Team , FeLady, and I get to see Jeff again and probably meet SHSMH (at least I hope so) and a bunch of other people I neglected to list. (Apologies in advance if you are one of them. Give a shout out in the comments!) I don’t get excited about doing the event, though. In fact I’m sort of dreading it.

I have not trained for this the way I had intended to. I bought a training book. I was fired up. I had plans! I didn’t follow them – not at all. Part of it was the wedding which took up most of 2 weekends although I did get 1 bike ride and a couple of swims in. I could have done more, though – I really could have and that was only 9 days out of the last 4 months. Mostly it was me just blowing off one workout after another. Especially the running. I’ve logged a grand total of 71 miles this entire year – ugh.

So what’s the problem? Why the reluctance? Wherefore went my zeal and enthusiasm and why, oh why have I replaced it with the dread of humiliating myself on the course and finishing in far more time that I should? Why the self loathing and self flagellation?

I don’t’ know. I really don’t know. Maybe, as Bold has pointed out, I’ve lost my reasons. I had them once. I even wrote about it last November and it seemed so clear. So why do I feel like I’m forcing myself through this?

There are no answers; there are only solutions –


Time to just do it. Too bad about my BrickHouse injury. I was bound and determined to run 6 miles this morning – hard miles with a lot of hills. I got about a quarter of a mile down the road and TWANG! That’s what my sore hammy did. It twanged, it pinged, it did not feel right. I stopped, I stretched, I resumed, it hurt like hell. I walked home. I have continued to stretch and use a roller (the stick) and I took some ibuprofen. I will try this run again this evening. I hope it works. Tomorrow I want to swim and ride my bike. Wed I want to train some more. I want to train with discipline and energy and renewed enthusiasm for Wildflower and I want to let go of the idea that I will humiliate myself and just do what I do. No matter what it is, it will be PR and that’s a good thing, right?

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9 Responses to The Reluctant Triathlete

  1. bold says:

    did you just call me a whiner?

    because, you know it will be ON.

    SO ON.

    i’m pretty sure you didn’t.

    i truly am looking forward to meeting you too!

  2. jeanne says:

    maybe you need to start back a week or two? not just pick up where you THINK you should be, but where you are? Cuz you don’t want to really get injured! you’ll do just fine come race day…if you’re smart now.
    good luck!

  3. fe-lady says:

    Don’t get injured now trying to make up for lost time…we all do what we can do in the time alloted us. Lighten up…you will get through this and you WILL have fun doing it! Or else! :-0

  4. Laurie says:

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    – Marianne Williamson

    This quote is appropriate in so many situations. I often use procrastination as an excuse for not doing my best. ‘I ran out of time and I just could not study enough for that test.’ It happens to everyone and it is hard not to do it. Just make small goals for the next few weeks. You can’t make up for the training you missed. That time is gone. Do what you can with what you have.

    I don’t think for a minute that you will truly embarrass yourself however. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

  5. I am the whiner, Bold – not you. However, if you want to have a Whine-Off it is so ON! I’m pretty sure I can out whine you any day.

  6. Tea says:

    This is YOUR race. Not every race has to be done at a crazy PR hitting level. This sounds like one of those races. Enjoy the company of your friends; relish the insanity that is Tri training; and have fun the day of the race, knowing that you will accomplish something few people will. You can not embarass yourself by showing up.

    And I have a quote too:
    Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher

    Now get your butt to the pool or on the bike and train! It will be well worth it!

  7. you inspired me to write something about me. I hope it’s useful to you.

    Now go get your butt into the pool or on the bike and run.

    wait – is there an echo in here?

  8. Robyn says:

    Another quote from a long time reader, first time commenter:

    Whatever you can do or dream you can, BEGIN IT. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. – Goethe

    Sometimes, we just have to keep ‘beginning it’ day after day. Good luck!

  9. Dori says:

    It’s so easy to blow off a scheduled activity; I’ve done it often. However, I’m less likely to do it when I have someone counting on me, such as a group or a workout buddy. Do you have anyone you can train with?

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