I had a date tonight. It was a second meeting with the same guy – “R”. He is pleasant and attractive. I met him for coffee last weekend and in the course of a rather slow conversation he asked me what restaurants I liked and when I told him I liked Thai food he suggested we go out for Thai food soon. Alrighty, then – he might be a little prosaic but he was clearly interested in me so what the heck? I was too busy to go until tonight so tonight it was.
The place he took me to was cute and the food was good. Since this was the second outing it was time to start asking some questions. “So, what do you for fun? Read? Movies?” His response – “Don’t read but I do watch movies”. My brain froze as solid as a car door lock in an ice storm. The man doesn’t read books, or magazines or the paper. Ouch. I should have steered off into a list of movies so I could get a read on him that way but frankly I got stuck at “I don’t read”. As it turns out he is lonely and bored. He doesn’t get up until 8 AM every day and when he does get up he can’t think of anything to do to fill his life. I think I’m supposed to be excited by the fact that he can afford to live that way but honestly, I can’t quite envision happily dating someone who doesn’t have more things on his wish list of “what I’d like to do” than he has time for.
I was reminded of the periodic letters to Dear Abby from “Mr. Nice Guy” who is polite and clean and nice looking and who just can’t find a girl friend. Abby never said, “hey, have you ever considered the possibility that you are about as exciting as sap running down tree bark?” because that wouldn’t be nice and how would she know? And frankly, I hate to say anything derogatory about R – he’s a nice man. There’s just no there there. No spark, no sizzle, no shine no passion. As the evening wore on I could feel little pieces of my brain burning out like red hot ashes in an updraft as I tried furiously to find something interesting to talk about. I’m sure I could find some enjoyment spending time with him walking our dogs and going skiing but I’m equally certain I would be chronically frustrated by my inability to engage him in a meaningful conversation.
Oh well. At least he didn’t lie about his age.