I’ve fallen behind again. I had a brilliant inspiration for something to write and then it left me.

These last couple of days have been frustrating but I really am glad I am home and not stuck in an airport or some crappy hotel somewhere, eating vending machine food. I should get out tomorrow.

Right now I’m grateful for babies who blow their due dates by a big margin. Much needed right now.

I’m still trying to get to the East Coast.  Today was my day!  Only then they cancelled my flight from Chicago to RDU 😦  They aren’t cancelling all flights – just a few.  Mine was one of them.

So – here are the silver linings:

• I’m at home, not stuck at an airport
• I don’t have to get in a cab after midnight and hope the driver can handle icy roads really well
• Daughter is still pregnant
• I didn’t end up stuck in Chicago or any other city
• I have a flight tomorrow on Delta – an airline that isn’t afraid of a little weather.
• The roads will be nice and dry by tomorrow night
• I can watch Downton Abby tonight

Yay!

I had a little trouble getting into gratitude mode yesterday as my plans to get to the east coast got tanked by weather.  I should be almost there right this minute but, as it is, I won’t be there until after midnight on Sunday – boo.  There’s a baby on the way and I’m needed!!

So there’s that – there’s a baby on the way!  My extended family will grow by 1 and there’s no reason to think that this little girl won’t be 100% perfect.  Modern medicine has already assessed her and things are looking good!  A birthing center is lined up, mid-wives are standing by and a miracle is about to happen. If you’ve ever studied physiology you know just how miraculous growing a new person is.  A lot of very subtle operations have to act in concert starting with 2 cells joining forces and mitosis setting in. Cell differentiation, growth, incubation – the whole 9 yards is enough to make me believe in God – or something.  John Gardner wrote something about the bump and grind of random molecules once – I can’t quite remember what; but it’s more than that.  And it’s happening – and I get to share in that.  All I have to do is get there!  I will… just not as soon as I had hoped.

I’m not falling behind on gratitude – I practice being grateful every day. I’ve fallen behind on writing about it which is partly because I’m not spending that much time on-line. At least not recreationally. So here is a catch up post.  As I wrote this post I thought of something important.

Day 13 – Saw The Revenant; Movies are a wonderful thing. They take us away from it all, they teach us things, they stimulate us and engage us.

Day 14 – Thursday was the first day in ages I didn’t go out and do something. It was nice to stay at home and just relax. Although home is where the heart is, my heart is very much in my home that I’ve lived in for 27 years and raised my babies in.  It isn’t the most elegant or beautiful house in the world but it’s cozy and cute and it’s my home, unadorned, simple and quaint though it may be.

Day 15 – Spent the evening and night with a man I’ve been seeing for a while. We have a lot of fun and get along great but decided early on not to commit to each other so we’ve both been dating this whole time. I could fill a book with the emotional impact of this relationship but mostly it’s been good for me and I value this man and now  have another great person in my life. Friday was the last night of things as they were – moving on to things that are different from what they were and growing in the process.  I accepted that we weren’t crazy in love (or, more accurately that he wasn’t crazy in love with me) and just let things be what they were until I realized there was some danger in carrying on and I changed it. And he accepted that.  It’s been a very positive experience.

Day 16 – I ran 3 miles and didn’t hate it. This is very good as I’m a triathlete and running is part of the process. Running is not my fave so I was very happy to have a run that felt okay and that I didn’t hate even though my pace is sooooo slooooow…… Baby steps. Grateful for acceptance

Day 17 – Went to spin class and out to breakfast with my Team Redeem bestie. Love her, love our time together. Happy.

There is a philosophy that says everyone should pick a word that represents their work for that year.  I can’t remember where it comes from and I don’t feel like looking it up but it might be from Oriah Mountain Dreamer; I’m not sure.  In any case, it’s a useful thing to do and I have, in prior years, spent time coming up with a word. Today the word came to me.  Acceptance.

I’m in a book group with 7 other women who are all smart and interesting and fun.  We formed our book group about 15 years ago, primarily from a group of  Moms in the same alternative elementary school program (public school). Over time we’ve added a few other members.  2 of us are teachers, 2 of us work for a city, 1 of us is a newspaper editor, 1 of us is retired, 1 of us is a business owner, 1 of us is a corporate drone, albeit a really smart and fun one (guess who??!!).   We are magnificent – truly.

We meet once a month to discuss a book and given the likelihood that we’ve all read the book (not so likely) we call ourselves the Accidental Readers.  It’s also pretty rare that we have a full house but really – we all have lives and sometimes we travel and sometimes work sucks the life out of us and sometimes we have family obligations and you get the idea.

My kids refer to us as “Mom’s drinking group” but that just shows what they know – WE TALK ABOUT THE BOOK; for at least  10 minutes. At least.  Some books hold our conversational attention for much longer – they just have to be compelling enough.

I am deeply grateful for this group – for the camaraderie, for the way we treat each other, for the exchange of ideas, for the sharing of insights and for the measured but undeniable debauchery.  Thank you, ladies!