Painting and getting things in order is becoming worse than endurance sports. What a grind. All the need to carry on with little of the enjoyment. I’m not very good at the fixing up stuff so I’m not really getting deep pleasure from things looking great. Or maybe when it comes to doing this stuff I am as unkind to myself as I am about racing. It’s never good enough. feh.
Something I keep figuring out is that I have no endurance. I get whooped and just really want to quit. I think the reason I like triathlon is because I have to push through that and when I do I feel good about it – at least until I start in on the ‘not good enough’ routine.
Out of this I have 2 goals for next year – develop more stamina by training more and be nicer to myself. Let myself have the victory and pleasure of accomplishment – without qualification. It won’t be easy but it feels good to have that as a goal.
I am putting away the paint brushes and drop cloths for the night and tidying up for my
drinking club book group. It really is a book group but my kids laugh and call it Mom’s drinking group because the only time they are there is when it is as my house and when it is at my house I can drink as much wine as I want. I might have 3 whole glasses of wine! That’s more than enough to set me up for table top, lampshade wearing dancing. I need the respite after all this blasted painting!