I saw Thor last night. I don’t generally go to action films because they usually involve cars flying through the air and buildings blowing up and I find that disturbing but I really wanted NOT to spend yet another Saturday night at home and my friend’s husband picked Thor so Thor it was.
Thor is, of course, based on the Marvel comic of the same name. Thor is a big beefy guy who wears armor and capes and speaks with an oddly Svedish/British accent. He lives in a place that looks like a scene from the classic video game Myst. I found it odd and disorienting but I decided that for $10.50 I needed to let go of my tenuous grip on reality for the next 90 minutes and just go with it.
Thor in this movie has a very nice face. There is the opening with Thor as a boy and then there is the scene where Thor is about to be crowned King in which he shines with power of a ring of suns around his planet (or was that moons around Luke Skywalker’s planet – can’t remember) and he winks at his too young and too beautiful looking mother (Renee “age cannot touch me” Russo ) and his smile is so strong and so broad it made my cheeks ache just looking at him.
And then things happen and he ends up on earth in the company of Natalie Portman who kindly offers him her ex-boyfriend’s clothes because that whole cape thing just doesn’t work out on Terra Firma. When we first see him he’s only managed to pull on the very well fitting jeans.
And at that point the movie became worth every dime of the price of admission. The man has biceps that bulge with the promise of being able to carry you across a raging river in a Biblical flood, a torso with pecs that beckon you to imagine what it might be like to lay your head on their warmth, your ear and cheek soaking up the heat like a kitten lying in the sun, your arm resting on his rock hard abs.
But wait – let me clear something up here. I have no actual sexual fantasies about the guy. He’s more than young enough to be my son and unlike men, women don’t generally fantasize about banging men young enough to be their children. That whole ‘Cougar’ thing is more myth than fact and anyhow, that’s for women in their 40s – or maybe 30s – our culture might be just effed up enough to think that woman in her 30s who gets dressed up and goes out for some fun is over the hill and therefore deserves to be called a silly name – the name of a predatory animal. But I digress. I just like the visuals and concept but have no real desire for the guy.
Let’s return for a moment to Hollywood’s latest obsession – mix and match the ages. We saw the preview to Cowboys and Aliens – totally weird, Wild West meets Battle Los Angeles and a couple of other forgettable trailers for similar movies. And then there was the Transformers, Part Deux trailer with more violence per second than most brains can conjure up in a flash of inconsolable anger. Apparently there is no end in sight for the public’s love of the same tired story and the same uber flammable, loud special effects. I don’t really get it. At all.
Anyhow – this movie is pretty much the hero’s journey take 554,362 in which a brash, egotistical man in line for the keys to the Kingdom gains humility and decides to act on behalf of the greater good. But whoa – is he hot.