Performance Anxiety

    I think we’re all familiar with this phenomenon.  You want it.  You want it bad.  And you want it to be good.  You want it to be really good.  You want it to make you quiver with vitality and fullness and with the promise of reaching heights you’ve never reached before.  You’re pretty sure if you go a little harder for a little longer you’ll get there – that magic place in the land of bliss.   

And then it hits you – what if I can’t?  What if it won’t?  What if I get ready and really try and it just doesn’t happen?  And then all goes flat and dull and nothing works.  Oh yes – you’ve been there, my friend.  We’ve all been there.

That’s where I am right now.  I’m just not sure I can pull it off.  I know I’ve gotten  there before through true dedication and attention to detail and it was good, no – it was great.  But this time?  I don’t know.  I’m feeling unsure, like maybe my experience will fail me and I’ll go all rookie and go out too fast and then fizzle out.    I’ve got it bad – race day anxiety.

Oceanside 70.3 is but 15 days off and I’m having some trouble adhering to my training plan. I feel done with that and just want to go and sort of  hold my breath, squeeze my eyelids together good and hard and go for it!  And yet training is not done.  It’s not time.  It isn’t even taper time.  It’s also very difficult to race while holding your breath and not looking at where you are going.

I will try to stop looking up the results of all my competitors and worrying about in what place I will finish.  I will try to remember that it’s all about fun – FUN!  This is fun!  Yes – FUN FUN FUN!!!  I love fun.  Who doesn’t love fun?  Do you love fun?  I love fun and worry is not fun.  Going to the beach is fun so I will go to the beach and I will have joyful beach fun.  Want to come?  


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9 Responses to Performance Anxiety

  1. jeanne says:

    You have done the training. You have put in the time. Now have faced mountains and made molehills of them.

    this too shall pass. you will show up, you will toe the line, you will prevail, and? You will have FUN!

  2. Don says:

    Yes, it is going to be fun! Spring Break crazy kinda fun.

  3. Black Knight says:

    I know the race day anxiety but it always passes at the start. Enjoy the race and have fun. Your experience will help you.

  4. aj says:

    re: your comment…

    ABSOLUTELY. my running and biking have gotten SO much better… hell, i barely ran for 3 months and then PR’d by like 3 minutes on my 5k. its craziness!

    i think you’d be shocked by the change in your body with crossfit. i think its probably time i post a before/after pic. although i’m really not looking forward to it. 😦

  5. iliketoast says:

    try reciting the presidents or the capitals or even the times table, always helps with performance anxiety

  6. IHateToast says:

    hey, i do that. i chat up lists. perfect squares. the “fifty nifty” song. eventually i stop the rainman thing when the nerves leave and the fun hits.

    it’ll be fun. don’t worry about having toilet paper hanging out of your suit at the beginning.

  7. Anne says:

    As you said: we’ve all been there. Unlocking the panic to let the confidence back in will happen. Don’t worry. (And I hope the weather improves by the time you head down this way…it’s been crappy cold here.)

  8. Runner Susan says:

    Anxiety? Me? Never!

    Ha, just kidding. I’m all about the anxiety – but usually because I haven’t trained like I should. But you, you are ready!

  9. I go through race day anxiety, too (really bad!). Thing is, you’ve trained hard, and you have the experience. So forget about your worries and kick some butt with a big ol’ smile on your face. 🙂

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