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4 Days in a row

21st Century Mom — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:14:54 +0000

That’s how many days in a row I have worked out. So no – no earthquake. Just me getting back in the saddle.

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This is next year

21st Century Mom — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:12:47 +0000

Really – my re-entry has been slow and my ability to break up with sloth has come in fits and starts but I can’t keep going on this way. I will train. I will race. I will reclaim my life.

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Breaking Up is Hard To Do

21st Century Mom — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 15:44:33 +0000

This weekend I made a very bold move. I difficult move. A move that found me eating humble pie which frankly is not all that delicious. I broke up with sloth.

Saturday I went swimming for the first time since before Thanksgiving. My legs cramped everywhere – even my shins. I had to sit out a 50 of our 500 pull because I needed to catch my breath. Sunday I went on a bike ride and got dropped (except it was a no drop ride so I was rescued), bonked really hard and struggled mightily to ride 35 miles. I was the last one in. Humbled.

But you know what? I would not trade the opportunity to be able to get back in shape for anything because having the opportunity to eat a little humble pie and suffer a little makes me feel lucky to have a body that is capable. I am healthy and I can do this and that means everything.

I’m looking to break up with not writing, too. It’s a tall order given my job and its somewhat unreasonable demands but I will try to reclaim a couple pieces of my life and get back to what I love – working out with my friends and writing funny stories about it. This one was an admission of gratitude so no humor but stay tuned.

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Forgive and Forget

21st Century Mom — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 05:15:36 +0000

So after bitching about The Hunger Games I decided I needed to play well with others (others being my book club who wanted to talk about it) so I downloaded the first part, thoroughly prepared to hate it. I did not. I was just about as sucked in as a person can be. I HAD to know how it turned out although the fact that the book is written in the 1st person is kind of a clue. I’m reading the 2nd installment now. I hear the trilogy doesn’t get really good until the 3rd book so I’m fully prepared for that.

And remember that thing where I broke up with triathon? Well… much to my surprise I find myself registered for IM Canada – Aug 26, 2012. How the hell??!!!! 2 women from my first newbie triathlete group signed up and well… I thought, “hey – I could train with them! This could be fun!” And then I pulled the trigger so I guess you could say I’m all in – ’cause that’s what we triathletes like to say. ”I’m all in – I’m toeing the line” Day-um!

Until then this is the tape I need to keep playing in my head

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What’s to Love?

21st Century Mom — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 16:52:29 +0000

“In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by 12 outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.”

This is the standard description of the new, hot selling book – The Hunger Games.

Why oh why do people want to read such a thing? I don’t understand. Really – I need help figuring this out.

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New Breakfast Treat

21st Century Mom — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:54:50 +0000

Sick of your usual breakfast? Here’s a new one for you. Go to Trader Joe and buy some plain lassi and frozen mango. Cut up 2 mango slices into little pieces. Put lassi, mango and a scoop of protein powder in the blender and whip it up. Dee-lish! If you don’t have Trader Joe in your area find an Indian grocery store or a fancy health food store.

I have more stories for you – like the one about how my road rash got seriously infected and I’ve been on antibiotics for over 2 weeks. But I’ll save that for later.

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Hitting Bottom

21st Century Mom — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 16:43:28 +0000

Hitting bottom is the place addicts get to when chronic unemployment, loss of friendship, living in dire straights, having no money, stealing from people you love, all of which can be attributed to your use of addictive substances (or food or gambling or sex), finally become so over powering that they are forced to face facts and get help and then to change their lives. My hitting bottom is of a different nature by quite a long shot but it still felt bad and it still felt like a real wake up call.

Last weekend I raced Vineman 70.3 for the 4th time. I wanted very badly to PR since times 2 and 3 were worse than my inaugural Vineman effort. My 2nd took place on a day when it was over 100 degrees on the run course. My 3rd was undertaken with almost no training due to work and travel and after that race I vowed never to toe the line untrained again.

I showed up for Vineman #4 severely under trained. No excuses this year – I didn’t travel much and I wasn’t working that hard. I just didn’t step up. What’s worse is that this was not the first race I showed up for minus the training this year. It was the 3rd. I had already raced an Olympic and a 66 mile race and had pretty poor results both times and swore that if I didn’t train I wouldn’t race Vineman. Are you seeing the pattern, yet?

The weekend before the race I had a pretty good training weekend. On Saturday I rode 25 miles pretty hard and had a peppy 2 mile run off. I was feeling oddly confident given that 25 miles + 2 miles isn’t even close to 70.3 miles.

Race day dawned and off I went. I thought my swim was a 4 minute PR based on the Garmin. Then I got on the bike and I felt pretty good. I was moving along at an okay clip. I got to the first water stop and grabbed a bottle of Gatorade (for no known reason since I knew I wouldn’t drink it) and put it in the back bottle cage, grabbed a power bar, missed the last bottle of water and someone ran one up to hand me one so I quickly dumped it in my aero bottle, went to toss the bottle in the bin before I’d gone too far (I was almost past the bin now) and looked up to see myself running into the curb. CRAP! There was no time and down I went – right on to some nasty, chunky gravel - BOOM! A guy helped me up and picked up my bike. The bike was okay so I grabbed one of the bottles that still had water in it, rinsed off the blood and took off.

32 miles later I was off on the run. I can’t remember if I was aware of how bad my bike split was but I had fallen so I just had to deal with it. My run strategy had been to try to run the whole thing but run slow so that’s what I did. Only I didn’t run the whole thing- I walked some of it. I walked and jogged which all together was really slow. As always I just kept going. Once I got to 4 miles I was at the “no turning back because that’s 8 miles anyhow and you might as well just do 13.1″ . And I did. I finished.

I looked around for my friends but didn’t see anyone (because they had all finished way before me) so I headed for Medical to get patched up. Only I started crying. I haven’t cried at the finish line since I did my first marathon and I really didn’t understand what was happening but by the time I sat down in medical I was crying hard. It was the kind of mournful, deep crying that comes when you’ve lost something dear to you.

I got patched up and during that process realized I didn’t feel so good. I asked for a puke bucket just in case. They put me on a cot and put a cold cloth on my head and kept patching me up. I stayed there for quite a while and then I saw a friend outside so I stood up to get her – and then I didn’t feel so good. Back to the cot I went and I was ashen faced with grey lips (not a good look on me). They elevated my feet, got me water and gatorade and took my vitals about every 15 minutes. A couple of hours later I was good to go.

I had to think long and hard about the tears and the emotion and what was going on there. I knew I had had a trauma and I was hurt but still – that didn’t really cover it. I’m not a sobber. I believe I was crying tears of disappointment in myself for letting myself go. For not training. For not losing the 15 pounds I’ve gained since Vineman #1. For putting myself last. For not honoring myself by trying to succeed. It was a wake up call and the message is ‘there is no try – only do or not do’ and that’s the decision point for me. At this point I am 3 for 3 on ignoring my own advice and with that we say, “De Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt”

Can I break the cycle? I’ll keep you posted.

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More and Less

21st Century Mom — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 12:19:04 +0000

Here is what I need more of:
More Health and Fitness News & Tips at Greatist.

And here is what I need less of :

less:

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Myst meets Gladiator

21st Century Mom — Mon, 30 May 2011 15:56:06 +0000

I saw Thor last night. I don’t generally go to action films because they usually involve cars flying through the air and buildings blowing up and I find that disturbing but I really wanted NOT to spend yet another Saturday night at home and my friend’s husband picked Thor so Thor it was.

Thor is, of course, based on the Marvel comic of the same name. Thor is a big beefy guy who wears armor and capes and speaks with an oddly Svedish/British accent. He lives in a place that looks like a scene from the classic video game Myst. I found it odd and disorienting but I decided that for $10.50 I needed to let go of my tenuous grip on reality for the next 90 minutes and just go with it.

Thor in this movie has a very nice face. There is the opening with Thor as a boy and then there is the scene where Thor is about to be crowned King in which he shines with power of a ring of suns around his planet (or was that moons around Luke Skywalker’s planet – can’t remember) and he winks at his too young and too beautiful looking mother (Renee “age cannot touch me” Russo ) and his smile is so strong and so broad it made my cheeks ache just looking at him.

And then things happen and he ends up on earth in the company of Natalie Portman who kindly offers him her ex-boyfriend’s clothes because that whole cape thing just doesn’t work out on Terra Firma. When we first see him he’s only managed to pull on the very well fitting jeans.

And at that point the movie became worth every dime of the price of admission. The man has biceps that bulge with the promise of being able to carry you across a raging river in a Biblical flood, a torso with pecs that beckon you to imagine what it might be like to lay your head on their warmth, your ear and cheek soaking up the heat like a kitten lying in the sun, your arm resting on his rock hard abs.

But wait – let me clear something up here. I have no actual sexual fantasies about the guy. He’s more than young enough to be my son and unlike men, women don’t generally fantasize about banging men young enough to be their children. That whole ‘Cougar’ thing is more myth than fact and anyhow, that’s for women in their 40s – or maybe 30s – our culture might be just effed up enough to think that woman in her 30s who gets dressed up and goes out for some fun is over the hill and therefore deserves to be called a silly name – the name of a predatory animal. But I digress. I just like the visuals and concept but have no real desire for the guy.

Let’s return for a moment to Hollywood’s latest obsession – mix and match the ages. We saw the preview to Cowboys and Aliens – totally weird, Wild West meets Battle Los Angeles and a couple of other forgettable trailers for similar movies. And then there was the Transformers, Part Deux trailer with more violence per second than most brains can conjure up in a flash of inconsolable anger. Apparently there is no end in sight for the public’s love of the same tired story and the same uber flammable, loud special effects. I don’t really get it. At all.

Anyhow – this movie is pretty much the hero’s journey take 554,362 in which a brash, egotistical man in line for the keys to the Kingdom gains humility and decides to act on behalf of the greater good. But whoa – is he hot.

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Happy New Year!

21st Century Mom — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 20:25:08 +0000

Oh yes – this will be a happy new year.

Last year I was at the end of my rope (and my money) with being unemployed and I was a nervous wreck.

Now I’m an over worked nervous wreck with a paycheck.

Last year I was desperately lonely and longing for a ‘someone’ in my life.

This year I have a kind of a someone that may or may not stand the test of time but it’s still nice to have something going on.

Last year I was injured and not coping with that very well at all. This year I have had a nice looooong rest and I’m fine.

Everyone in my family is healthy and that’s the best news of all.

My New Year’s message is “so far so good!” and my horoscope tells me that June is my month. Hopefully you won’t have to wait 6 months to see how things are progressing on that front.

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It’s December!

21st Century Mom — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 14:33:59 +0000

And what happened to November? Whoosh! gone. I did “run” that marathon and got my worst time ever. Then I ran a 1/2 a week later and did okay for this year. “For this year” is a key phrase because this was my year to kind of walk it in and just not care that much. Actually – I cared but I had no fight. Working for a living again kind of took the fight out of me but not to worry. As the man said, “Ah’ll be back”

After enjoying slugfest 2010 I’m ready to figure out how to work, train and race in 2011.

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Of Races and RollerCoasters

21st Century Mom — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:44:20 +0000

Folsom, August 15, 2010 – Folsom Olympic Distance Triathlon

There is no better time for self-evaluation and a trip to the internal loony bin than during a race. The rollers on the bike course are no match to the rollers in my head that have me selling my bike and going back to Jazzercise by the time I’m halfway through only to leave me wanting to sign up for another longer, harder race by the time I cross the finish line.

Folsom was the same story. I thought my swimming was just fine and I knew I was not last in my wave and that I had passed people from the wave before so that was fine, right? Oh no. I got out of the water and saw that my swim was long by a couple of minutes and immediately decided that there’s just no hope for me. I will never be a good swimmer and I might as well quit fooling myself. Why do I even do these races anyhow? But Oh well – here I am and my bike awaits.

Then on to T1 where I absolutely could not get my wetsuit off – again. It wasn’t enough that I had ripped a giant hole in the leg pulling it on (yes I know you need to tug on it from the INSIDE). Oh no – it would NOT come off. And then it did and I had on my bike shoes and helmet and off I went.

My legs hurt – they were tired and had lactic acid burn (in spite of eating some SportLegs before the start) and I felt weak. I couldn’t get my speed up. I hated myself, hated racing and decided once again there was NO WAY I’M EVER DOING THIS AGAIN!! And I’m certainly NOT going to do Big Kahuna because races that suck are OFF THE TABLE and it WILL suck!

On I rode, trying to give it my best; trying to speed up. When I had about 5 or so miles left I noticed on my bike computer that my average mph was 15.1 NO WAY! And really – there was no way I could have that pathetic performance on the permanent race record so I spent those miles going absolutely as fast as I could trying to rachet up that number past 16 because really – I MEAN REALLY! And I did. I got it up to 16.1 and decided that perhaps there had been a wind/hill issue going out and I wasn’t maybe (just maybe) well enough trained. Maybe.

The run was fine. I felt pretty good and I ran and ran. Nothing notable. It hurt and I wanted to stop but I didn’t.

And then I finished – 2 minutes off my last year time and 16 minutes slower than I wanted to finish. I was certain that divorcing triathlon was the only solution to how crappy I felt about that. No Big Kahuna, no more racing, no more being a poseur. Done done!

A day later, having really looked at my times and my splits it occurred to me that given the training I had done my finish wasn’t so bad. 5 out of 10 in my AG, right in the middle where I always seem to land. My run was 1 minute faster than last year. My swim was what you might expect when you only swim twice a week, if that. My bike split was truly pathetic but what if I put in more time and trained? What if I did some hard intervals on the trainer? What will happen this weekend when I ride 75 hard ones on Saturday and then do a long run on Sunday?

Hmmmm…. guess I’ll figure it out when I race Big Kahuna.

ps – I have done way more training than you can see evidence of in the side bar. I’m just not the numbers junkie I used to be.

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DC Rainmaker gives away a Garmin 310XT

21st Century Mom — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:29:26 +0000

Would you like to win a Garmin 310XT? You would! you would! DC Rainmaker is building his following and rewarding everyone for their help by holding a little contest. Please go here for details.

The man’s blog is both informative and entertaining. You really can’t go wrong!

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Merry Christmas to All

21st Century Mom — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 17:03:10 +0000

I get a daily update from a group called Story People and today’s read:

What do I get for this? I said & the angel gave me a catalog filled with toasters & clock radios & a basketball signed by Michael Jordan & I said, But this is just stuff & the angel smiled at me & swallowed me in her arms. I’m so glad you said that, she whispered to me. I knew you still had a chance.

I liked it.

There isn’t much ‘stuff’ around here but I am home with 2 of my 3 kids and we are all in good health as opposed to my big brother who is in the hospital recovering from having one of his legs amputated just below the knee. The operation was done to put an end to many years of pain and misery brought on by a motorcycle accident when he was a kid so it’s a good thing but it hurts and a hospital, no matter how friendly, is not a great place to be on Christmas.

So Merry Christmas to all and I wish you all a day filled with love and hope where ‘stuff’ is just the icing on the cake. If you are dealing with illness and heartache I wish you strength and love and some path toward peace of mind.

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What Gear Are you In?

21st Century Mom — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 15:24:12 +0000

Today in the paper (yes – I still take a paper) there was a feature called Bay Area Living in which they ask the interesting question “If your life were car what gear would you be in?”

I like to think I’m trying to keep it in 4th with an occasional burst to 5th; pedal to the metal, baby.

How about you?

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