Athletes can reflect on a year of training and racing and assess it for progress, for inspiration, for opportunities to deal with disappointment, injuries, triumphs and lessons learned.   January 1 is everyone’s time to put down the cookies and candy and pick up the barbells, put on the running shoes and step up to the opportunity of making this year the best one yet.

For some of us, making 2010 better than 2009 isn’t much of a challenge.  I wouldn’t say my 2009 was horrible but it has put me in a fairly precarious place such that 2010 WILL be the year I do something beyond hoping for a great job and farting around training while I await a miracle. I’m happy to say that I read a few status updates today that reminded me that for some people 2009 was a great year. People who had their first child, did their first Ironman (myself included), got a great new job and a beautiful new home -  lots of people had a fine, fine year.    Lots of people did not so here’s to some economic recovery in 2010 and shiny New Year for All!

I have captured my athletic year in graphics:

Hours trained per month

Miles per discipline per month

Swim, Bike, Run distance/pace

So I trained a bunch and the run and the swim are better and the bike – hard to say. It doesn’t look so good on the chart but there are extenuating factors so it looks like the line is effectively flat.  A little disappointing but it’s okay because I found something more interesting.  Here are my training volumes in miles per month over the last 3 years:

2007 Training volumes (note the scale on the left)

Yearly Log 2008

Yearly Log 2009

I don’t know how easy it is to see but on the 2007 chart the ‘distance’ axis goes up to 140 miles and on the 2009 chart it goes to 500 miles.  The 2008 chart goes to 400 miles.  This proves that I have come to love my bike instead of fearing it and of all of things I have accomplished that is one of my favorites.

Wow – boring.  Moving on.

I did an iron distance race this year.  That should be my favorite thing and in many ways it is but more favorite than that was what happened in the process.  I got stronger, I got more confident and I made new friends.  So that was the best part.  I got to share that day with my first born and her husband and that was also the best part.  I finished the race in spite of being in a state of discomfort and that’s admirable but what’s better than that is that there was never a doubt in my mind or my heart that I wouldn’t finish that race.  I knew I could I do it – I knew that.  And that’s the best part of all.

I have to finish cleaning up my desk t make it New Year Ready.  2010 is going to be dramatic and good because I’m going to make it that way either by landing a job I’ve been working on for months or, failing that, something else.  Something good.  And I know I can do it – there isn’t a doubt in my mind or in my heart.

Happy New Year!

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Saturday was long run day – I had to run 2 hours.  It was also a day when many members of my club race at the Back to School 5K or 10K and those not racing go out and volunteer.  Many of my New Triathlete Program people (NTP aka newbies) said they would volunteer and I really wanted to be there to see them the day before our big triathlon and just to be a part of it all.  I also really needed to go see my foster kid for whom I am an advocate through the Court Appointed Special Advocates program (check out the national site to see more).  This child lives hours from me so I had to allocate 2 hours to run and 5 hours of travel time plus the visit plus I had to be up at OMG:thirty on Sunday so I needed to get home early.  I couldn’t work out getting the race in (I guess I could have raced 10K and then run another hour but there aren’t any showers there and racing wasn’t on the plan) so I didn’t go and it felt sort of wrong but very right.  There are things in life that really are more important than triathlon and race clubs and foster kids in need of an anchor is definitely one of them.

My 2 hour run was fine – it felt good and that was exciting because the run and I have not been such good friends lately.  Score!

Sunday was the day of the race I’ve been training the Newbies for.  Most of them had already done a shorter sprint and some had even done an Olympic distance race but this was our big club event and I was so excited.  I didn’t race but I did do the swim with a woman who was very nervous about getting run over by the swim waves behind us (our club gets to go in the first wave en masse and there was quite a mass of us!).  I was there to defend her water space and help her stay calm and I did and she exited the water all in one piece.  After that I ran up to the bike course to cheer people on and then I headed up to the water station to cheer some more and pass out water. Turns out I positioned myself incorrectly and missed some people that way but it was fun.  Then I went down to the finish line to cheer everyone in.

I really wanted o stay and be at the award ceremony and just hang out and talk to everyone about their race  and I wish I had because NTP had people on the podium! How great is that??!!  Alas – I had a long ride on the plan so off I went with my 2 new BFFs and a friend of theirs.  It was a tough, long ride and it was hot and windy but it was great.  There was a moment when I was sure I couldn’t do it and I really worried about how I was going to get out of there but some cold water and a PayDay later and I was fine and rode strong – no problem.

Elevation from gpsvisualizer (top) and from MapMyRide (bottom)

That's it - you ride almost 40 miles and this is what is there

We got back to the park where our cars were right about the time the Challenge Weekend Celebration BBQ was starting but we were sweaty and gross and really needed to get cleaned up.  I had neglected to bring clean clothes but my BFFs had several outfits each with them as well as soap and shampoo and cream rinse so we all used the outdoor, cold water shower and cleaned up in our tri suits and then put clean clothes on (in the privacy of the ladies changing room) and finally, finally headed to the party arriving a mere 90 minutes late to a 2 hour party.  Great.

But it was great because I got a chance to say some words about my fabulous Newbies who stepped up and trained and made their dreams come true.  I’ve hatched a litter of tri-junkies and I couldn’t be happier about it.  I’m so proud of them and so very happy to have played a role in giving them a chance to do something they might not otherwise have done.  I said my words and I handed out a little memento to each of them and then they took the floor.  One of them read a whole story about how there is no “I” in  TEAM and about how great the program had been and how she had made friends and accomplished something wonderful.  Another woman gave a speech about me that made me blush and made me proud and made me feel loved  and then they gave me something to remember this inaugural season with – a Garmin 310XT and a $50 gift certificate to Forward Motion Store, our primary benefactor.  Wow – just wowl  *Channeling Sally Field* -“You LIKE me… right now.  You  LIKE me!”  I’m so humbled and so happy and so very jazzed about my new toy!  But I’m more jazzed that several of the newbies want to ban together to train for an Oly.  Success!

Looking forward, one of the things possibly on my plate is getting a slot for IM Canada when I race Oceanside.  Because it is so early in the year the carrot they dangle to athletes is the potential to get a slot at any of a couple of NA Sports M-dot races and Canada  is one of them (but shhh… don’t tell everyone about this because it’s kind of a secret, okay?).  I have several friends who are going to race and a few more racing Oceanside so they can get slots.  It’s a possibility but one I don’t think I’ll take because this weekend I figured out something really important about me.

My “moment” came when I realized that triathlon is a fundamentally self indulgent endeavor but I am not a fundamentally self indulgent person.  I spend a lot of time volunteering and giving to others because I like it and it makes me feel good.    I feel good about having become an athlete, too but the trade offs cause me stress. This weekend was a great example of that where I was torn between being with my race club and being with my foster kid and being with my race club and getting in my training.  I had to just take a deep breath and let it go but it was difficult.  It all worked out in the end but in the process it made me feel a little crazy.

I’d like to do the NTP next year again and I’d like to help organize this year’s newbies to train for an Oly and I’d like to train with them.  This year my direct participation in their training fell off because I signed up for Beach 2 Battleship and if I raced Canada I’d have a worse problem because it is in August and the training would consume my whole summer.    So again – the opportunity for conflict and stress is huge and I’m a ‘want it all’ kind of gal.  I’m a problem solver, too so here’s the solution:    I’m going to race Oceanside which means training up  a 70.3 on  March 27.  I’ve also decided that  I’m going to attend IM St. George in some capacity.  If I love 140.6 after B2B I might do a fund raiser and buy a community slot for 2010 (I’d pay my $550 and raise the rest) and attend IM  St. George as a participant.   If  I don’t want to do that I can just go be a Sherpa and then sign up for 2011 on-site.  Either way my IM training and season will be over in early May at the latest  and I can get on with the business of playing, training  newbies, and racing shorter distance races.  Brilliant and perfect and what a great Monday it’s been.

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TIA

The Youtube rating system is somewhat unclear, so i’m just being really nit picky and sending these easy steps out in case you haven’t rated yet.

How to vote: (first double click on the embedded videos so that you are on the YouTube site.  You don’t have access to the rating system, otherwise)

1. Make sure you are logged into YouTube

2. Click on the 5th star in the rating area of the video (just below and to the left)

3. If you don’t have a YouTube account, you have to create one (VERY SIMPLE!) by clicking on ‘Sign up’ in the top right corner of the screen

4. Repeat for every YouTube account (ie, email address) you have!

Now, for those of you who are a little sneaky like me (and who really want to help us win!) there is also a FRENCH VERSION of the film up here:

No one seems to really be watching/voting on these, so it might be a sort of back door way to get our numbers up!

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I got my dog as a puppy 14 years ago because my kids wanted a puppy. They were little kids back then. The puppy was a lab mix – the other part was either sheep dog or bearded collie. She was fluffly and cute and not so bright but very loyal. We named her Sienna because when she was a puppy she was dark brown like that crayon – burnt sienna.

For the last year her back end has been failing her to one degree or another. She’s had good days and not so good days and lately she’s had days where she gets stuck on the floor and can’t get up. She fell down the stairs a couple times. She looked a little sad.

I agonized over what to do about it and then I quit worrying about it and decided that I would just know when it was time. Yesterday I decided it was time and today I took her in. She was having a good day and that made it worse, as though anything can make terminating your dog’s life after she has been your faithful friend for 14 years – a font of unconditional love, any worse than it is. I could accidentally step on her, force her to submit to grooming, leave her home for hours, not take her for a walk for days and still – she loved me. I hope she knows I was loving her back by letting her go when she could still walk a little bit – before she had to suffer the terror of just not being able to get up.

I’m not the only one around here who will miss her.

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This was my first real triathlon season. Prior to this year I did the Tri for Real sprint distance triathlon (700 yard swim, 18-ish mile bike, 4 mile run) in 2000 and then again last year. I PR’d last year by 23 minutes and by then had started reading triathlon blogs so that was the race that gave me the bug.

This year I raced 6 triathlons, 3 half marathons, 2 bay swims, 1 5K, 1 12K and one 4 mile run. That is more racing than I have done in my entire life before 2007 combined. So how did it go? You can find the boring old numbers after the jump if you are interested. They don’t really tell the story, though. That part takes words.

The best part about this season is that I had one. I did it. I toed the line time and time again and raced and of that I am proud.

The not so good part about this season is that time and time again I let my self doubt and a lot of low self esteem and internal self deprecating dialog hold me back. I didn’t really train because I figured ‘why bother – you suck any how’. I learned a lot about the depths of my image issues and managed, finally, to realize that toeing the line counts and that just having enough faith to make the effort is laudable so yay me! This is a first.

I also learned that if I put my mind, heart soul and body to this and really try I could be somewhat competitive. That’s how I took 2nd at Bethel Island. I raced. I could at least give the women in my age group vying for middle of the pack slots a run for their entry fee and next year I intend to do just that. I have a lot more ability and drive than I have ever tapped in to so next year my goal is to really train and to race hard – to give myself some credit to succeed and to train to that end. That will be another first.

Right now I have only 2 events locked in for the season – The Sharkfest Swim (currently sold out!) and Vineman 70.3 (about half sold out so if you want to do it get on it!). I also expect to do the Bay to Breakers, hopefully with a bunch of bloggers in Tutus. I am currently awaiting for the Dec 15 Escape from Alcatraz random drawing. I SO hope I get in. If I don’t get in to Alcatraz (and perhaps even if I do) I may very well do Wildflower Short Course again just to transcend my horrible experience from last year. I won’t go down until Saturday, though because that camping was kind of awful. 1 night of that is quite enough, thank-you-very-much. I will also do the Tri for Real because that is my “A” race where it all started.

I want to thank each and every person who has encouraged me and told me I rock and reminded me that just showing up not only counts – it’s HUGE! It has taken me quite some time to get the message but I think I’m there!!

To the extent that I have been hibernating I am going to do it for a few more weeks. I’ve been swimming 3 days a week and I’ve done a bit of running. I’ve gotten on my bike exactly once since SOMA. I did not go for a ride this morning with my favorite person to ride with because it was cold and I just don’t feel like it. I feel sort of bad about that but oh well. I did not do the Bah Humbug 5K last weekend which was a mistake because I could have placed really well and a lot of people from Forward Motion were there and it would have been fun but I’m broke so oh well again. There’s always next year and next year is going to be great!

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Hampshire is so alternative that they did away with the Freshman – Senior structure and replaced it with Divisions I, II and III. Division I is your liberal arts training where you have to demonstrate that you understand how the pros go about learning new things and creating new art. Division II is a multi-disciplinary concentration (sort of like a major on steroids) and Division III is basically a Senior Thesis. It’s a great way to go except for the part where you have to really learn about stuff you are not comfortable with. The arty types have to really learn some science and the science geeks have to really learn about the social sciences and in the mid 70s we all had to learn about something called ‘Language and Communication’. Now that might not sound so obscure now but this version of L&C had to do not with mass media and marketing, but rather with the intersection of anthropology, language acquisition and computer programming. It exists but I’ll leave that explanation for some other time. Suffice it to say that it was so obscure they don’t even have it any more – they have something else.

To get out of Division I you have to do some sort of project or write a paper for each of 4 schools (Natural Science, Humanities and Arts, Social Sciences and the dreaded L&C). At that time a couple named Allen and Beatrice Gardner who were psychologists at the University of Nevada in Reno (Washoe County) decided to teach their chimp, Washoe how to communicate with sign language. They actually began this study in 1967 so there was some data. My job was to figure out if Washoe was learning language or just acting like a monkey.

I spent a few weeks reading stuff and I wrote a paper and took it to the professor who read it and said, “this is a book report. This won’t do at all. I need you to tell me if that chimp has language or if she’s just aping her trainers”. I gave him a blank stare. He handed me some books by Noam Chomsky (who was a linguist before he became a political writer and speaker) that gave the intimate details of language acquisition zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………………

Not that language acquisition isn’t interesting. It is. A vast majority of children who speak English come up with the word ‘pasgetti’ before they can say ‘spaghetti’. Most kids will say “Me want that – mine!” before they learn to say “I want that and if you don’t give it me I’ll bite you” . If you look at it from that perspective it is interesting. French speaking kids have a French version of that and German speaking kids have a German version of that and so on and so forth. How you quantify and describe that is not so interesting.

I spent a month slogging through these books trying to be a language acquisition scholar. Then I had to re-read all the papers on what Washoe could and couldn’t do and how her signing was measured and how reliable and repeatable it was and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………. Then I had to make my case. I think KoKo the ape was starting to learn sign language then so I studied her, too. I got through it. I came up with something. I think I decided they had limited language and that they really did know some words for some things but had no ability to expand on that. I passed my Division I L&C exam – Yay!

Washoe died today. She was 42 years old and had 3 offspring to whom she taught some limited amount of sign language. She was a shoe freak and is widely reported as insisting you show her your new shoes. I sort of feel like I’ve lost a long time acquaintance and I can’t help wondering if she would have gone ape over Runner Susan’s shiny red boots. I’m pretty sure she would have.

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So it isn’t really Hump Day Miscellany. It’s Hump Day Inspiration and Tribute Day. Thank you, Mal for posting this video. For those of you who are not Mal, he is a cameraman for Fox over in the Middle East and in addition to going from being a runner and marathoner to signing up for an Ironman (sound familiar??) he sees war from a very different angle than the rest of us. If you’d like a birds eye (or is that a Mal’s eye?) view into conflict in the Middle East please go to his other blog, Unholyland News. and I assure you, you will get quite an eyeful. Not of tragedy and mayhem and limbless bodies but of sorrow and terror and madness.

So here’s to John Blais and to Mal and to Me and here’s to You, too. For all of your efforts, your strength, your bravery, your determination and your contributions to the larger community. Here’s to all of us. I think John would appreciate our efforts to go the distance and seek personal triumph as we run and swim and bike our way through personal demons, through our fears, through our sore muscles and in spite of busy lives until we cross that finish line.

Click here to read more about John Blais and the Blazeman Warriors
“This is where you will win the battle – in the playhouse of your mind”

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