On a positive note I got promoted at work and then immediately got handed a very large project to manage.  An important project (as are they all ) and I need to  do a really good job.  There goes the training and therefore there should go the racing.  Will I give up?

Race #2 was the Silicon Valley Long Course 66 mile race.  1 mile swim, 56 mile ride, 9 mile run.  That 9 mile run seemed like such a fabulous idea – 4 fewer miles than a 70.3!!   I’d like to say it lived up to my expectations that it would be so much easier but I’d be lying.

Quick race report

Swim - The water, contrary to what I had heard, was very nice.  Good temperature, clean, silky.  The course was 2 loops where you had to get out of the water and take a quick run down the beach and get back in. There’s nothing quite like standing up and becoming very aware of your rapid heart rate and labored breathing to make a swim just a few notes short of totally terrifying.  I was a twee uncomfortable when I started lap 2 but then I started passing people from a previous wave and I felt  pretty good.  Total swim time 36 minutes.  Good enough.

T2 – my usual fumbling to get the wetsuit off, panting, struggling with the shoes blah, blah, blah. It took approximately forever

Bike - The course was nice.  I felt okay and maybe even passed a person or two. Then some passed me. Then  I rode alone for a while and was happy to note that there is some fine agricultural land still in existence in   Steinbeck Country.  I liked it.  Only 1 hill to speak of and lots of nice scenery.  At about mile 30 I traded off for a bit with a sweet young thing in a UC San Diego Tri suit and finally managed to drop her which felt great even though I was pretty sure I would see her again.  I also traded for a while with a 44 year old and a 59 year old until they eventually dropped me. As they sped off saying something or another I said “We still have 9 miles to  run” and the 44 year old said “Ah – I’m not a runner – that will be more a walking thing” and I thought “great – I’ll wave on my way by you”.

I was hurting and struggling and I had dueling songs in my head.  I would start to hear Carole King’s “I haven’t Got Time for the Pain” and then I would think “NO NO – NOT THAT!” and start channeling the Beatles “It’s Getting Better All the Time”.  It got me through in I wasn’t sure how much time.

T2 - I must have looked pretty toasted because my friend Carrie who was volunteering was ever so encouraging. I just knew she could tell I wanted to cry and go off to play in the playground. I didn’t, though. I swapped my stuff and headed out for the run.

Run – As expected it was a  long, drawn out, sufferfest and  I had no juice. That is the inevitable result of not running very often.  I think I had run 9 miles over  2 weeks and here I was trying to run 9 miles in under 2 hours.  Seemed like a long shot.  I walked, I stopped and breathed, I jogged, I took a Gu, I drank some water, I jogged some more and I told myself, “just get to 4.5 miles and you will be on the way back” and that’s what I did.

It was an out and back and I looked and looked for Ms. 59 and she was nowhere to be found.  Not sure about her 44 year old friend but I think I passed her.  My little bud from UC San Diego flew past me at about mile 4 and I called out “I knew you’d get me” and she called “hang on with me!”  Cute kid.   When I was almost done my friend Sharley came along on her bike and gave me a lead bike to the finish experience.  It was very nice.

Just as I got done I heard them announcing 1st place in my division.  ”She did it in 4:11!” they called.  And then they started moving on so I walked up to the podium and said “I race 55-59 and I just finished so I must be #2″. They said they would get the results in a minute and get back to me which they did not do. When they got done announcing winners I went up and reminded them and they looked it up and scowled at the iPad and finally gave me my bottle of wine and a t-shirt identical to the one I’d gotten in the SWAG bag (WTF??)

Total time 6:08 which was not a happy thing but as it turns out Ms. 1st place “winner” bagged the race and just did the aqua-bike so really I won.  How they failed to note her 2 minute and 18 second run time as they announced her win is beyond me.  Anyhow, the other lady in my AG never showed up so I totally dominated! First, Second and Third!  And I only got 1 bottle of wine. Damn.

It hurt.   It hurt a lot.  So the obvious question is what do I do about Vineman 70.3, Folsom Long Course (66 miles) and Big Kahuna 70.3?  The answer is – I will go ahead and make an attempt at Vineman again.  The game plan is to get more running in and just fake it on the bike and not die on the run.  I’ll probably switch to Folsom Sprint although I could probably dominate my AG again in the Long Course  since the competition all goes for the short stuff.  And I will probably roll over on Big K for this year because no one is paying me for this and it’s kind of a struggle.

So The weird math problem of the day is this:  If an athlete starts the season registered for 6 races and turns 3 into 2 how many races will she do?  Answer: Nobody knows.

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I also showed up with my new bike!  New to me – it’s a 2007 Cervelo P2C. I realized 2 days before the race that with a standard double and an 11-25 on the back I was not going to be able to make it up hills (in my head) so I had the cassette swapped out for an 11-28 hours before we left for the race.

The day started as they always do, way too freakin’ early with our group thinking “WHY!?? Why do we get up at 5 AM on a Sunday to do this”?  We all know the answer but the question is inevitable.

I ripped my wet suit in transition – that was awesome!  Tore a hole about 4 inches wide in the back.  That’s right – the back?  I was following a helpful hint from a fellow racer to bend over and pull on the shoulders to make it fit a little better.  Bad idea.  But I’ve ripped my wet suit before a race before so no biggie. I headed off to the 58 degree water for a nice swim swim.  37 minutes later I was making my way through T1

This is my swim route – I like to post these for the comic value.  Will I ever figure out how to swim in a straight line? Doubtful

It took about 1/2 a life time to get the damned wet suit off .  That was message #2 that it’s time for a new one.  Eventually (3:37 to be exact) I got it off and toddled out to the road to start my ride.

The ride was great.  I still don’t have a computer on the bike and my Garmin isn’t set up to show speed so I went off of perceived effort.  I wanted to see how I was doing.  I did okay. Not great but okay.  Bike split 1:33 which is just under 16mph which is slow for this course but given that these were miles 100 – 125 ON THE YEAR I really can’t complain.  Did I mention that I was under trained?

T2 was going fine until I started to run out and realized I had forgotten my bib – damnit!  I had to run back and get it.  Total time 1:25

The run was, predictably, painful. I managed to end up running with one of those super cheerful cheerleader types who calls out “Great Job!” to every single person on the course. It got old fast but oh well – it’s nice, right?  At about mile 2 I decided  for the 11ty billioneth time that I hate triathlon, I hate racing, I’m an idiot and that I’m just going to cancel out of the 5 other races I’ve already paid for.  That lasted for about 2 miles until I got to run down hill and then I felt a little better because I was still running.  And I ran to the finish.  And then I thought, “Hey – not bad.   You did it and next month you’ll do it better”  Run time 1:07.

Total time 3:24, AG3. Not my best, not my worst.

Shout outs to Threshold Racing for putting on such a fine race.  It was organized, well coordinated, scenic, great traffic control and I got a cool medal and I won a bottle of wine because with 3 people in your age group that’s what  happens.

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There is no better time for self-evaluation and a trip to the internal loony bin than during a race. The rollers on the bike course are no match to the rollers in my head that have me selling my bike and going back to Jazzercise by the time I’m halfway through only to leave me wanting to sign up for another longer, harder race by the time I cross the finish line.

Folsom was the same story. I thought my swimming was just fine and I knew I was not last in my wave and that I had passed people from the wave before so that was fine, right? Oh no. I got out of the water and saw that my swim was long by a couple of minutes and immediately decided that there’s just no hope for me. I will never be a good swimmer and I might as well quit fooling myself. Why do I even do these races anyhow? But Oh well – here I am and my bike awaits.

Then on to T1 where I absolutely could not get my wetsuit off – again. It wasn’t enough that I had ripped a giant hole in the leg pulling it on (yes I know you need to tug on it from the INSIDE). Oh no – it would NOT come off. And then it did and I had on my bike shoes and helmet and off I went.

My legs hurt – they were tired and had lactic acid burn (in spite of eating some SportLegs before the start) and I felt weak. I couldn’t get my speed up. I hated myself, hated racing and decided once again there was NO WAY I’M EVER DOING THIS AGAIN!! And I’m certainly NOT going to do Big Kahuna because races that suck are OFF THE TABLE and it WILL suck!

On I rode, trying to give it my best; trying to speed up. When I had about 5 or so miles left I noticed on my bike computer that my average mph was 15.1 NO WAY! And really – there was no way I could have that pathetic performance on the permanent race record so I spent those miles going absolutely as fast as I could trying to rachet up that number past 16 because really – I MEAN REALLY! And I did. I got it up to 16.1 and decided that perhaps there had been a wind/hill issue going out and I wasn’t maybe (just maybe) well enough trained. Maybe.

The run was fine. I felt pretty good and I ran and ran. Nothing notable. It hurt and I wanted to stop but I didn’t.

And then I finished – 2 minutes off my last year time and 16 minutes slower than I wanted to finish. I was certain that divorcing triathlon was the only solution to how crappy I felt about that. No Big Kahuna, no more racing, no more being a poseur. Done done!

A day later, having really looked at my times and my splits it occurred to me that given the training I had done my finish wasn’t so bad. 5 out of 10 in my AG, right in the middle where I always seem to land. My run was 1 minute faster than last year. My swim was what you might expect when you only swim twice a week, if that. My bike split was truly pathetic but what if I put in more time and trained? What if I did some hard intervals on the trainer? What will happen this weekend when I ride 75 hard ones on Saturday and then do a long run on Sunday?

Hmmmm…. guess I’ll figure it out when I race Big Kahuna.

ps – I have done way more training than you can see evidence of in the side bar. I’m just not the numbers junkie I used to be.

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My lemons are known as ITB syndrome  and it all started with a bicycle seat in the wrong position.  I’ve been battling the demon for a couple of months and I finally got out the big guns and went to a physical therapist who treated it.  We talked about training through the pain (a fairly common methodology for triathletes) and that just didn’t work.  I tried to run off the bike and the pain was intense and I was defeated so he said he thought 6 weeks of rest along with some glute strengthening exercises he gave me would do it.
Excuse me – did you say 6 weeks?

SIX WEEKS???!!!

Holy mother of God – I can’t NOT train for 6 weeks and oh, by the way, I have a race in 4 weeks.

But the gig was up – if I can’t run off the bike then I can’t very well do a triathlon so bu-bye Oceanside.  You were a great idea a few months ago.

So where is the lemonade?  I have a bunch of glute strengthening exercises to do and although they aren’t difficult and they aren’t too terribly painful to do my buns get really sore from them.  I can also do core work as well as a little upper body work.  So – in however many weeks I can hold out (I’m committed to 4 at this point) I will do my glute and ab hardening work and come out of this with a great butt and a six pack!  Or a 4 pack!  Or no pack at all but a nice flat, hard tummy.   Just look at the physique in this picture of a person suffering ITBS. I think that says it all.

So there’s your lemonade.  Or maybe it’s not lemonade – maybe’s just an Arnold Palmer because it will be a cold day in hell before my butt ever looks that good but it will look better and I loves me an Arnold Palmer (the drink, not the man) so, in the parlance of the 21st Century, it’s all good.

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Last night  in my effort to find something on TV to keep me company while I caught up on Facebook I stumbled on a show on FitTV about Diana Nyad.  Diana was a world class ultra-swimmer.   She attempted at one time to swim from Cuba to Florida and was in the water for 42 hours, covering 90 miles before she had to give up.   She couldn’t repeat that trip because of Visa issues but she did manage to swim from Bimini to Florida successfully.  Makes 2.4 miles seem kind of easy but that wasn’t the best part of seeing that show.

At one time in her life she really wanted to represent the USA at the Olympics. Specifically she wanted to swim in the 1968 Olympics in Mexico when she was 18.  Sadly she had some setbacks including a sexual assault by an adult she knew that strained her emotionally and spiritually  and a cardiac infection that kept her out of the water for 8 months and sapped her fitness.  Those events conspired to keep  her from that goal and she approached her final swim meet in high school with a ‘why bother’ attitude – her dreams a pile of dust.  A friend of hers noticed how laden she looked and said, “look at the nail on your pinkie.  What does that represent as a fraction of the effort you use to swim a race?  Why not go into that race and push off as hard as you can and use every bit of your heart and gut and those muscles you’ve worked so hard to develop and swim as hard and fast as you can and when you get done don’t look to see if you are 1st or 8th, just close your eyes and close your fists and think about how you swam that race so hard you didn’t have a pinkie nail’s worth of effort left in you.”  And that’s what she did.   She came in 6th but it didn’t matter because she was all in on that race and she knew it.

Since then she has filled her life telling stories as a sports caster and she has done many things to inspire others.  She works with women over 40 trying to reclaim their lives and with veterans dealing with any number of  casualties and issues.  She’s done lots of things to inspire and enrich the lives of others.

At the end of the show she talked about how there is so much to do and so many people to help and so much to  experience that no one can do it all – you just can’t. But when her time comes she knows that she will close her eyes  and know that she lived her life  so that she couldn’t have done one pinkie nail more than she did.

And that, as it turns out, is my ‘reason’.    I also do a lot of  “things” – I’m a CASA volunteer (and just signed on to be a team leader and help other CASAs) and I’m on the BOD of my race club and I started the new triathlete program last year and will continue it next year and I “do” stuff; it’s who I am.  This  race and presumably my impending accomplishment in finishing it  is one of many things I am doing not to win, not to be the best, not make someone else  happy, not for glory or fame, but as another component of   living my life with every bit of spirit and effort and joy I can.

Thanks

Getting to a race like this is never a solo effort.

Thanks go to my Coach Tammy Metzer of Tempo Multisport who has taken me from a ‘no way I can do this’  nervous breakdown to feeling 100% confident in my ability to finish. I feel strong and I feel great and she got me here so thank you Coach Tammy!!

My kids have been a huge source of encouragement and inspiration.    That’s one of a bazillion reasons I love them so much and want to make them ever more proud of their Mama.

My friend Sharley took me under her wing and trained with me quite a bit over the last couple of months and it’s been great.  Kelby, too.  Both of them have been great at beating me into shape encouraging me to go a little harder and a little faster than I wanted to.  Dana and Maggs and Kat and Harold and Julie and Christy and Patrick  all get thanks for hours logged training together.  Kudos to Vali for endless cheering and excitement for me (but we really didn’t get much of a chance to train together – baby that knee!)  Chris and Monica are my forever coaches and Joe is my forever font of wisdom and calm.  Thank you to Dana and to Sharely for putting together send off/good luck gatherings for me and thanks to everyone who came – it meant the world. And it means the world to me to know that so very many people are watching me and rooting for me and sending their good vibes.

And on that note – LET’S RUMBLE!!!

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Saturday was long run day – I had to run 2 hours.  It was also a day when many members of my club race at the Back to School 5K or 10K and those not racing go out and volunteer.  Many of my New Triathlete Program people (NTP aka newbies) said they would volunteer and I really wanted to be there to see them the day before our big triathlon and just to be a part of it all.  I also really needed to go see my foster kid for whom I am an advocate through the Court Appointed Special Advocates program (check out the national site to see more).  This child lives hours from me so I had to allocate 2 hours to run and 5 hours of travel time plus the visit plus I had to be up at OMG:thirty on Sunday so I needed to get home early.  I couldn’t work out getting the race in (I guess I could have raced 10K and then run another hour but there aren’t any showers there and racing wasn’t on the plan) so I didn’t go and it felt sort of wrong but very right.  There are things in life that really are more important than triathlon and race clubs and foster kids in need of an anchor is definitely one of them.

My 2 hour run was fine – it felt good and that was exciting because the run and I have not been such good friends lately.  Score!

Sunday was the day of the race I’ve been training the Newbies for.  Most of them had already done a shorter sprint and some had even done an Olympic distance race but this was our big club event and I was so excited.  I didn’t race but I did do the swim with a woman who was very nervous about getting run over by the swim waves behind us (our club gets to go in the first wave en masse and there was quite a mass of us!).  I was there to defend her water space and help her stay calm and I did and she exited the water all in one piece.  After that I ran up to the bike course to cheer people on and then I headed up to the water station to cheer some more and pass out water. Turns out I positioned myself incorrectly and missed some people that way but it was fun.  Then I went down to the finish line to cheer everyone in.

I really wanted o stay and be at the award ceremony and just hang out and talk to everyone about their race  and I wish I had because NTP had people on the podium! How great is that??!!  Alas – I had a long ride on the plan so off I went with my 2 new BFFs and a friend of theirs.  It was a tough, long ride and it was hot and windy but it was great.  There was a moment when I was sure I couldn’t do it and I really worried about how I was going to get out of there but some cold water and a PayDay later and I was fine and rode strong – no problem.

Elevation from gpsvisualizer (top) and from MapMyRide (bottom)

That's it - you ride almost 40 miles and this is what is there

We got back to the park where our cars were right about the time the Challenge Weekend Celebration BBQ was starting but we were sweaty and gross and really needed to get cleaned up.  I had neglected to bring clean clothes but my BFFs had several outfits each with them as well as soap and shampoo and cream rinse so we all used the outdoor, cold water shower and cleaned up in our tri suits and then put clean clothes on (in the privacy of the ladies changing room) and finally, finally headed to the party arriving a mere 90 minutes late to a 2 hour party.  Great.

But it was great because I got a chance to say some words about my fabulous Newbies who stepped up and trained and made their dreams come true.  I’ve hatched a litter of tri-junkies and I couldn’t be happier about it.  I’m so proud of them and so very happy to have played a role in giving them a chance to do something they might not otherwise have done.  I said my words and I handed out a little memento to each of them and then they took the floor.  One of them read a whole story about how there is no “I” in  TEAM and about how great the program had been and how she had made friends and accomplished something wonderful.  Another woman gave a speech about me that made me blush and made me proud and made me feel loved  and then they gave me something to remember this inaugural season with – a Garmin 310XT and a $50 gift certificate to Forward Motion Store, our primary benefactor.  Wow – just wowl  *Channeling Sally Field* -“You LIKE me… right now.  You  LIKE me!”  I’m so humbled and so happy and so very jazzed about my new toy!  But I’m more jazzed that several of the newbies want to ban together to train for an Oly.  Success!

Looking forward, one of the things possibly on my plate is getting a slot for IM Canada when I race Oceanside.  Because it is so early in the year the carrot they dangle to athletes is the potential to get a slot at any of a couple of NA Sports M-dot races and Canada  is one of them (but shhh… don’t tell everyone about this because it’s kind of a secret, okay?).  I have several friends who are going to race and a few more racing Oceanside so they can get slots.  It’s a possibility but one I don’t think I’ll take because this weekend I figured out something really important about me.

My “moment” came when I realized that triathlon is a fundamentally self indulgent endeavor but I am not a fundamentally self indulgent person.  I spend a lot of time volunteering and giving to others because I like it and it makes me feel good.    I feel good about having become an athlete, too but the trade offs cause me stress. This weekend was a great example of that where I was torn between being with my race club and being with my foster kid and being with my race club and getting in my training.  I had to just take a deep breath and let it go but it was difficult.  It all worked out in the end but in the process it made me feel a little crazy.

I’d like to do the NTP next year again and I’d like to help organize this year’s newbies to train for an Oly and I’d like to train with them.  This year my direct participation in their training fell off because I signed up for Beach 2 Battleship and if I raced Canada I’d have a worse problem because it is in August and the training would consume my whole summer.    So again – the opportunity for conflict and stress is huge and I’m a ‘want it all’ kind of gal.  I’m a problem solver, too so here’s the solution:    I’m going to race Oceanside which means training up  a 70.3 on  March 27.  I’ve also decided that  I’m going to attend IM St. George in some capacity.  If I love 140.6 after B2B I might do a fund raiser and buy a community slot for 2010 (I’d pay my $550 and raise the rest) and attend IM  St. George as a participant.   If  I don’t want to do that I can just go be a Sherpa and then sign up for 2011 on-site.  Either way my IM training and season will be over in early May at the latest  and I can get on with the business of playing, training  newbies, and racing shorter distance races.  Brilliant and perfect and what a great Monday it’s been.

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Folsom Olympic Distance Triathlon

The night before the race I went to the Mexican restaurant next door and ordered  a chicken burrito, expecting to get a normal burrito.  No.  I got this ginormous thing (note the burrito is as wide as my laptop and that’s not a netbook) and was pretty stunned.  I gutted the thing and by the time I was ready to toss out what was left it looked a bit like something you might find on the side of the road after it got run over several times.  ew.  Tasty, though!

The swag I got.  Another ‘interesting t-shirt and some samples. Not bad.  By the end of the race I owned 2 more water bottles, too!

A composite of me across all 3 disciplines.  Do I look a tad dead on the run?  And the elation coming out of the water says, “yay!  no cramp!”

Podium!! AG 3 out of 8.  Best podium finish ever!

Sharkfest 09

Is this the shore??  Am I alive??  Oh miracle of miracles!

That dark stuff on my face = sea smutz.

Tour of Napa Valley Century

As we were going up the first big hill the woman behind said, “Is that death or is that bagpipes?”  I was too winded to answer but I’m happy to say it was bagpipes.  This guy was a really welcomed addition to the ride.

Groovin’ at the first aid station with Dana and Kelley!

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The Swim -If you’ve been following this blog for a few years you know that 2 out of 2 prior runnings of this race (2007, 2008)had me coming out of the water, traversing the nasty river rock and falling down with an extremely painful cramp in my calf.  My first goal for this race was to not have this happen.  I swam kind of easy, counting to 100 over and over again and as I approached the swim out I did the breast stroke for a little bit to stretch my legs.  It worked!  I got out of the water sans cramp.  Mission accomplished!

T1 - as always I couldn’t get my wetsuit off over my feet.  I need to work on this because it kills me every time.  There was not a single bike in the FMRC rack I was in   but this was to be expected because the only other woman in my wave I could think of in that moment  is a really strong athlete and really competitive.  There was a 3rd rack I didn’t check but if I had I would have noticed 1 bike and remembered there were 2 in my wave.

The Bike - I rode 50 miles on Saturday so my legs had a little wear and tear on them and I could hear them whimpering softly  but I felt okay. I passed people and people passed me.  I never once saw a woman in my AG which which made me think I was either dead last out of  the water or had a phenomenal swim.   I didn’t know so I let it go.  I did get passed at mile 7 by the other woman in my club and in my swim wave who also happens to be in my New Triathlete Program.  I’m going to have to strip her newbie status immediately!    I  tried to ride as hard as I could but made  a conscience decision not to watch my speed on my bike computer.  Big mistake – huge mistake.  Percieved effort is crap for me.  Numbers rule.  Lesson learned.

Someone is NOT in her happy place!

T2 - As I came into T2 I heard the announcer call my name and the name of another woman and I heard him say “Number 1 and 2 in our later  age group” which was secret code for “old ladies division” but the young guys never say stuff like that. Anyhow, there were these 2 women standing by my full rack and I said excuse me and then I said “did he just say that?  Did he just say #1 and #2?”  Of course they had  no idea because they were just hanging out in transition shucking and jiving while their friends/Sos raced but they said, “Yeah!” so I said “OMG – no pressure there!” and I took off.

That bit of misinformation was key for me.  I had to keep running lest I made it out of T2 before the other woman did.  I had to put some distance between us so I ran as best I could. I passed the first water station and just kept going since I had about 5 gallons of water in me.

The Run – The run was really hard for me.  It seemed like about 100 miles to the mile 1 marker but I just kept going with the pep talk (you can do it!  just keep running!   legs? what legs? go! go! go!). My goal was to put as much space between her and me so she could never catch me, assuming I got out there first.  I didn’t see her ahead of me so I stuck with that assumption.  It was a huge struggle, though.

I  am eternally grateful to the woman who saw me take a couple of walking steps who called out “you’re almost to the turn around!” so I ran.  I did my best not to look back and just kept running knowing I could search for my adversary after the turn around.  There she was, about a 1/2 mile behind me – too close for comfort.  I thought about giving in to my desire to walk and then I thought “suppose you give up 2nd for 3rd – how would THAT be, Missy??!!” and I kept running.

The brain is a powerful enemy in these races and mine was saying “WHO CARES??!! – JUST WALK IT!”  And I gave in – for a count of 10 and then I ran again.  I thought about how stupid it is that I race and wondered, for the 9,000th time why I can’t just spend my time kayaking and wind surfing like a normal middle-aged woman.   I walked up a hill encouraged by a42 year old  man who said “that’s right – walk the hills, why not?” and I hate that but then I realized I was right behind the guy who had run it (M 49) so I started running and let that guy be my pacer.

Right before the finish of Folsom you go off the paved trail and run on a rocky, dirt trail. This is where the lady passed me 2 years ago and then beat me by 18 seconds. This is where I heard foot falls behind me last year and   thought “oh no you don’t!” and picked it up to come in 10 seconds before Ms Footfalls who was in my AG.   This is where I picked it up again in an effort not to get burned by the enemy behind me.  Turns out I really didn’t need to do that but I really did need to be done.

And there I was -  DONE!  And I looked at my watch and it said 3:19 and I was hating on me, triathlon and my legs – most especially my legs.  Last year  I did this race in 3:02 so the 3:19 did not put me in my happy place.  I was pretty sure I suck and should just hang up my running shoes but about 20 minutes later I went to the computer guy who gave me my splits and said “3rd in your Age Group”.  “NO WAY!”

I wondered and wondered how I came in 3rd if I was 2nd or 1st in T2 and I realized there was no way.  First of all I didn’t get passed by anyone in my AG on the run.  Second of all when I look at the results it’s clear that #1 and #2 were way out there by the time I got on the run.  They beat me by 37 and 22 minutes respectively.  I beat #4 by 20 minutes so I guess I did drop her good and hard.

So where did I lose those 10 minutes?  How was it that I was unable to reach my main goal for this race – to go sub 3:00??

1). The swim.  My swim time was off by 6 minutes. Holy Moly!  I checked times for several other races and everyone was off 2-4 minutes (I’m kind of “special” with 6) so I expect the swim was a bit long.  I also suspect I didn’t swim very well.

2). The Bike – if I had been watching my speed I would have gone faster.  Plain and simple.  Lesson learned.  I was 2 minutes slower.  On the other hand I rode 50 miles the day before so that was a problem  That’s all the more reason I should have gone by speed being that I’m pain averse.

3).  The Run – I have not been running enough and I just need to HTFU on the run in general.  I was off by 3 minutes and I suspect the 75 miles on the bikein 2 days  had quite a bit to do with that.

The long ride yesterday was about training for endurance.  That’s what I need to be doing. I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it to race a distance I’m not training for and I really don’t know.  That having been said I’ll be doing a sprint on Sept. 20 and then next up is B2B 140.6.  I wonder how I’ll feel on that run?

Stats:

Swim 35:40.2; T1 2:28.4, Bike 1:25.11, T2 1:20.3, Run 1:08.11  Total time 3:12:51 (apparently my watch is what sucks)

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Race Day  –

Setting up – One of these things is not like the other:

We got to T1 to set up and I unrolled my socks to discover that one was the kind that goes just to the top of your shoe and the other one was an ankle sock.  I should have taken a picture but I didn’t.  I did decide that the mis-matched socks were a good luck charm and carried on.  I didn’t have a lot of time before my wave went off so  I went through the normal pre-race port-a-potty panic (I was still in line with 14 minutes until my start) but it all worked out and I was on the beach in my wetsuit, cap, goggles and wearing my chip with moments to spare.

The Swim – Is for Fish    

Meh.  I swam.  As always I spent the entire time wondering what the hell I was doing in the water.  Water is for fish – people don’t belong there and OMG will I NEVER get to the turn around???!!! When I finally got there I felt something hit my foot and realized it was the bottom of the river.  I could see the bottom of the river and I could touch it. Absurd.  I stood up to take a look around and then dove back in, being careful not to scrape my nose,  and finished my swim doing my normal crazy zig zag  in my normal 45 minutes which was okay because I have not been swimming much lately.

T1 -  Bikes!

There were bikes still in the rack!!  I was very excited and uplifted by that.  I had a hard time getting my wetsuit off (nothing new there!) but I got it all together, stuffed my wetsuit and towel and cap and goggles in the plastic bag and took off.

The Bike – What Scenery?

When I first got going there was a woman with a 59 on her leg ahead of me.  I decided I would just pace off of her for while but then I felt like I was going too slow and it bugged me so I passed her.  We played cat and mouse for a long time and I came to know her as “59″ because I didn’t make nice and exchange names with her.  I was killing it on the hills and she would pass me on the flats.  I finally got tired of 59 and just dropped her at about mile 40, before Chalk Hill.  I didn’t see her again for a very long time.

I noticed a few interesting things on this bike ride. First of all I noticed every once in a while I would look up and think “oh – it’s so pretty out here” which was a distinct difference from last year when I found the race so annoying for disrupting my sight-seeing time.  Last year as I got near Chalk Hill I found myself in the center of a lot of chatter about the hill and this year I was annoyed at the prospect.  But  I wasn’t cruising with a steady crowd all around me.  I was riding and either passing people or getting passed but no one was tittering about a hill that really isn’t that big a deal.

I had wanted to have a 20 minute PR over last year’s bike split of 3:37   As I got to the top of Chalk Hill and looked at my watch and saw 3:45 I wanted to cry.  How COULD that happen??? I was so much faster.  Then I looked again and realized that was 3:45 total – including the swim and T1  and I looked at the other time on the watch which was 2:53 so I was happy – oh so very happy because in my head T2 was down the hill and around the corner.  Only it wasn’t. The ride kept going and going and going and I started thinking “give me some chute – this distance is killing my time!!” and then I thought “oh – yeah – that’s how this goes. PEDAL FASTER!”

Total bike time was 3:19 which was 2 minutes longer than I wanted it to be but it was still great.  According to my favorite pace calculator 56 miles in 3:19 is a pace of 16.8 mph which made me very happy.

T2 – bikes, damnit

I found my spot easily and switched my stuff.  Nothing interesting there except there were alot of bikes in the rack. I put that out of my mind because it was women 45+ so that was 3 age groups below mine as well as my own so big deal, right?  I did my best not to dwell on the obvious and just got the hell out of there.

The Run – My Journey Through Hell 

I started out running and thinking “oh my – it’s hot” and found myself really pushing to keep running to the first aid station which is just after mile 1.  Not a happy thing.  In fact I found myself walking very early on and thinking “come on – just run. You can do it – just run” but it was really hard.  It also occurred to me that the race was going to take a very, very long time if I kept walking so I did my best to run when I could.  Every time I saw someone in FoMo team kit I tried to pick it up and whoever saw me would say “You look great!” When my friend Joe said that to me I responded,  “Is always better to look good than to feel good” because I did not feel good.  I felt wrung out and limp and hot… so very, very hot.

I tried to focus on short term goals – the next aid station, that cow up there, the next house, “run the flats you can walk the hills” but it was a death march from the get go.  I forged on  just waiting to get to the winery which gets you to the half way point.  When I got there I convinced myself that the irrigation ponds and the moisture from the grape plants  made it cooler and that it was easier to run on the dirt. That worked and gave me a good mile’s worth of running and then I made a decision to stop at the porta-potties as I came out.  Big mistake.  Huge mistake.  It was even hotter in there, I didn’t really need to go that badly and when I got who should I see right ahead of me but 59.  DAMMIT!  I started running and I passed her and said, “and so we meet again” and made some comment about the heat but pretty soon I found myself walking again and she passed me and I just couldn’t muster the energy to take her.  I let her go.

With about 4 miles left, after walking for way too much of the race, inspired by 2 men who had decided to walk the whole thing, I got sick of it all.  I also got passed by a woman with 55 on  her calf and I thought “oh no – I’m losing another place.  This is no good at all” I picked it up and ran and passed her and then I started to walk and she passed me. I started thinking I would let her have it and then I thought “OH NO YOU DI’NT!” and I started running and she started walking and I kept running.  I had no idea where she was but after considering letting her take my place a couple more times I resolved to hang on and keep her behind me and I did.

The Finish

I forced myself to run from one light post to the next…. run to the mailbox and you get to walk from 1 light post to next and then run, run for 3 light posts and you can walk for 1 and then finally, finally I was at the point where people were cheering and ringing cowbells and I ran.. I ran and ran and ran because the Vineman has the most torturous path to the chute of any race in the world and you hear “almost there – just 5,000 meters to go!” over and over and then finally you are running on the grass and you run some more “just 100 meters to go!” and finally you hit the first mat and you know the guy is looking up your name and then you hear you name and WOO HOO!!!! you smile and give a little what what arms in the air and finally, finally you are DONE!

I was more than done  I was cooked to well done.  Charcol briquet done.  Don’t even stick a fork in me because I’m so dried out  it will just blow a hole in me.  Done.  And just after I crossed that line 55 came in behind me – 11 seconds off my time – woot!

My run took a whopping 2:50 and more than eroded the bike PR for a finish time of 7:02 over last year’s 6:55.  On the plus side I didn’t die  – I didn’t even quit.

In Conclusion

The biggest thing I learned, and I’ve learned it before which is why it was such a big lesson this time. is that I never, ever, ever want to finish another race wondering if I could have gone harder.  I feel that way about this race.  I know it was very hot but I’m not convinced I worked as hard as I could have and I hate that feeling.  This isn’t the first time I’ve felt that way but I intend to make it the last time.  Oh yes I do.  And you know what?  The next time is a new race.  There’s always a new race and another day and you can always try again and tri harder.

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My particular participation in this race was, in a word, Supah!  I had a really good time in spite of having to drag my tired kiester out of bed at 3:45 AM.  Is that even legal?  Had to be done, though because I needed a few cups of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal and it was into the car and off to the big city!

All of that went flawlessly.  This race was pretty small (too small – you should ALL do this race next year!) so there wasn’t a bad spot in transition.  I found one of the many great spots, set up and headed off to find a potty.   Turned out the only ones available had flush toilets and running water.  Ahhhh….

Back in transition I said hello to fellow team mates, put on my arm warmers and started to pull on my wetsuit.  If you are doing a race on a chilly day this little trick will save you a ton of time in transition.  Anyhow,  I got the wetsuit 1/2 way on, put one arm in and realized I didn’t want to do that because we still had to ride a bus to the ferry (it was a bay swim) so I decided not to put the other sleeve on.  But I didn’t want to take the first one off, either.  So I didn’t .  I just walked around and got on the bus with one arm on and one arm off, wearing an arm warmer.  It was a look.

We got to the ferry landing for what we thought would be a short wait.  Only it wasn’t.  There was a snafu with the buses and I don’t know what else that left us hanging out there for almost an hour.  That part didn’t bother me.  By then I had pulled up the other sleeve and didn’t look so much like a crazy woman.  The problem was that I really needed to pee only I had a wetsuit on and I was not in the water and i was not really willing to run to the rest room and deal with it as others were doing.  So I just held it.

Finally the ferry was in, we were on it and on our way to the spot where  you jump off.  I really had to pee but I wasn’t about to chance hitting the head on the boat and jumping last so I just dealt.  And then I jumped and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD that water was cold – roughly 55 degrees.  That might have scared the pee right out of me but it didn’t and the timing mat  was on the boat so it was game on – SWIM!  So I swam.  I tried to stop and tread water hoping I could, you know, warm things up but no.  These things take time for me and time was of the essence – I swam on.  Then I tried to focus on relaxing and just letting go but that was slowing me down and I’m slow enough in the water so I just decided to HTFU and swim.

For once I held a decent line and didn’t have to have a kayak guy chase me down or tell me where to go.  This was one of these races where you get out of the water, pull off the wetsuit, put on shoes and start running.  The run was about 3/4 of a mile and it was a perfectly reasonable way to warm up.   But I really had to pee.  There was nothing to be done about that, tough so I just sucked it up and kept going.

Finally I get to my bike and it’s off with the running shoes, on with the socks (pre-powdered), on with the bike shoes, on with the helmet, on with the sunglasses and I’m out of there, trotting across the grass to the mount point and boom!  It took about 1/4 of a mile to have to start climbing.  I get up the first hill the guy says “good job – just 2 more!”  This was not what I wanted to hear because you know what? I had to pee and climbing was not helping but oh well.  I just kept going because this ride is onlyl 9 miles so how bad could it be?

Here is the elevation map for the bike:

Bike Elevation - Anchorman

So it was a little bit hard.  Be that as it may I dropped 9 people on the bike which has to be the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in a race – EVER!  I was so happy with myself I forgot about how bad I needed to pee.

My other favorite part of the ride was when I was heading out for loop 2 going up that steep part right at the beginning.  I got passed by a guy on a very nice Kestral who was just mashing his way up that incline.  I thought “oh dear – I don’t think that’s going to work out for you, Mr.”  but I let him go.  It didn’t take very long before I was spinning right past him on the last big climb and I never saw him again until he finished the race – 20 minutes after me.  He’s 41.  HA!

I finished the bike and headed into transition to swap the helmet for a hat, the shoes and grab my race belt.

Off toward the bridge and right past those nice potties with the flushers and the running water.  OMG but I’m on a mission!  I’ve dropped these 9 people and I want desperately (and futilely) not to have any of them drop me on the run.  As if… and I really had to pee but there was nothing to be done about it -  I had to run.  Down to the bridge, around the cones and back to the stairs.  The long stairs.  I got up those and remarked “there’s no sand!” and the guy up there pointing the way said, “not yet”.  The famous sand stairs are a part of this race but I sort of forgot where they were.  The run went on and on and it went up and up.  And then it went up some more until we got to Baker beach and the famous sand stairs.  Only problem was a whole lot of sand was missing so a lot of them were just logs that were cabled together.  Macca says “don’t bother running them” and I thought that sounded like a fine idea.  Kind of hard to run on logs that go down a steep slope anyhow.  So down to the bottom, high five the guy who is there to tell you to turn around and it’s back up we go – ooph!  I thought about just running into the water to pee but no – I had to keep going because someone had already passed me on the run and there were more on the way.

Here is the run elevation:

The way back was way more fun than the way out.

Back past the potties with the flushers and the running water and holy crap I’m desperate now and into the chute!  Race over.

I did a 180  to head back to the potties with the flushers and the running water but of course I had to stop to say hi to my team mates and have a little chit chat time.  It’s a wonder I didn’t just die on the spot but I didn’t – I made it back to the potties and peed about 3 gallons and felt so good I considered just curling up on the floor for a nap but I figured other people also needed those potties and I was thinking I had a trophy to fetch.

And I did get a trophy.  I would have gotten a tropy if I had stopped and peed, too because I was the only one in my age group but if I had honored my bladder I would not be able to say that I beat both of the women in the 50-55 group and both of the women in the 45-49 group and 2nd and 3rd place in the 35-39 group so I earned that trophy!  I suffered and sacrificed for it and   I won it fair and square.

I’d go take a picture of it to post but I need to pee and I’m not putting it off.

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The club ended up putting together 4 teams -

- Real Runners Don’t Tri   (who put the smack down on the next team)
- Fableux Americains (the triathletes, a.k.a The French as in smack talking French Olympic swimmers who end up not winning)
- Larry’s Lounge Lizards (pretty fast runners out to have fun)
- FoMo MoFo Mamas (12 women of varying talent)
I was  (and still am) a MoFo Mama, a title that fits me well.

The race had over 200 teams, each with 2 vans containing 6 runners.  That’s a lot of vans and a lot of people so they stagger the start.  Our team was the slowest of the 4 so we started at 9:30 and our Van 2 ladies came all the way up to Calistoga so we could be a  team at the start line.

Click on image to see more

It was a nasty, rainy day and the vans made a mud pit out of the field we pulled into.   At 9:30 our first runner took off and the Vans took off, too – Van 1 to the next runner exchange and Van 2 headed out for breakfast.  4 hours later it was my turn to take my first run which was 4.85 miles, covered in 44:21 or 9:08 a mile.  Unfortunatly the rain had stopped because I could have used a good downpour right about then.  That’s a really good  pace for me and I was literally cooking.  One of the reasons I ran so fast((in addition to  the fact that it was a race) was because I knew that I was all the stood between everyone in the van and lunch!

The cool thing about being the last runner in the van is that both vans full of people were at the hand off so I got double the cheers – awesome!  That first handoff wasn’t so memorable but lunch was.  We went to a restaurant, put in for a table and I headed off to the ladies room to change out of my sweaty clothes.  When I came out the group was gone!  Abandoned! Except for one woman,and then I found another and then we found the rest of the group and had a really delicious lunch at a BBQ and wine place that was so fabulous I wish I could give you the name but alas…. I forget.

Back into the van and off to the Van exchange spot we went.  That turned out to be in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception at all.  We had no way of knowing how far out the other van was other than to guess.  We slept a little, wandered around a little and were met by The Real Runners at one point who had left at 2:30 and were already passing us up.  Nice!

Handoff accomplished we headed off to repeat the process of going to the runner exchange, handing off and moving along.  At this point  it was dark and we were getting a little punchy and I wasn’t really clear on why this was so much fun.  It was fun but it wasn’t the ribald, best time of ever experience I was expecting. 

My next leg started in Ross, CA  at about 1:30 AM or so.  The crowd of runners stood on the sidewalk by an office building being shushed by the volunteer in charge because in Ross they don’t tolerate late night noise even if it is generated by people raising money for cause.  Whatever.  Off I went, through the center of Sausalito and up, up, up to the Golden Gate Bridge.  That part was very cool.  The bridge is closed at night and as you approach a volunteer opens an electronic gate.  It’s like being let into a prison.   The part that was less cool is that the hill getting onto the bridge is long and steep and the damned bridge is uphill-ish until the 2nd tower.  I ran every step but it was hard.  Finally I saw the toll booth, the bridge started heading down and I started hauling ass.  I ran into the crowd and was told – go left! so I headed left and was told go Right! through there!  So I headed right, through there and was told – go across the streetf and turn right – almost there!  so I ran across the street and was told go right!  Almost there.  I was really tempted to yell IN A PIGS EYE! but in fact, there was my runner so we high fived (having lost the rubber bracelet hours ago) and off she went.    My run was 5.8 miles in 59:40 for a 10:15 pace.  Not bad considering it was mostly uphill.

So now it is 2:30 AM or so and we are exhausted.  A women on the team is a Marriott employee so we headed off to the Marriott  for a shower and a nap.  When we got there at 3 AM the lobby was full of inebriated Rugby players and their goofy drunk Rugby Roadies.  One of them asked what we were doing so we explained the race and he smiled and said “You guys are awesome” and looked at me and said “can I give you a hug?”  This was big, guy with the look of an islander about him and I said, “you don’t want to hug me – I just ran and I’m gross and sweaty”.  Rugby guys, especially the drunk ones,  don’t care about such things and he insisted so I gave in and lay my  tired little head on his chest while he wrapped his big, meaty arms around me.  If only someone had had a camera.  I could have fallen asleep on my feet in his vodka infused arms but  check-in was completed and I was hauled off to our room where I got a shower and a nap – a  2 hour nap.  2 hours.

Next up was the Van exchange at Cañada College where the walls came tumbling down.  At this point I was so beat that all I could think of was getting it over and going home.  I was not alone.  When the Van 2 ladies came in (minus their runner who was out on the course) we told them we were just going to run our last legs and then head home.  I went so far as to tell them we wouldn’t mind if they DNF’d.  Seriously.  This was a disaster.  They were angry and hurt and let down and we were  polite but defensive.  I don’t know how I ended up being the spokesperson but I did a really bad job of it.  I kept saying that we just couldn’t handle going to Davenport and waiting in the car for 5 hours or so in the rain.  We were tired and we just needed to go home.  On that sour note we headed out to swap runners and move along.

Do I look a little tired?

My last leg was a killer.  I had to run stragiht up hill for 3+ miles.  No break – just up, up. up. I ran it, too. The van stopped on the road several times to give e water and I got the driver to take my picture

Me running uphill for way too long

I managed to run those 3.2 miles in 40 minutes at a 12:30 pace which I thought was pretty reasonable considering the terrain.  I only wish it had been raining harder – I could have used more rain.

When I got to the top of the hill there was the whole gang and the other ladies, the ladies of Van 2 were so nice and encouraging and kind and I thought all was well.  Off we went in our Van and off they went in theirs to finish the race. We headed out for Mexican food and margaritas.  For reasons none of us understood our driver, the one male Mama in the pack, decided to post a picture of us enjoying our meal to Facebook where it was seen moments later by the Van 2 Mamas who were still out in the cold and the rain – just as exhausted as us and who really did NOT appreciate that picture!  Damn you iPhone Nation!

Suffice it to say the next couple of days were spent mending fences but the great thing about being in  this club and about doing something like that together is that we were able to patch things up and plan a party so the Van 1 ladies and make dinner and margaritas for the Van 2 ladies.  Beats the hell out of holding hands, eating s’mores and singing Cumbaya.

The Relay was really fun and I don’t  mean to overplay the big blowup but it as fun as the race was I think that episode sort of defined the experience for me and taught me a very important lesson. If  you do one of these events do not, under any circumstances or for any reason make decisions 24 hours into the race when you’ve had almost no sleep. That way lies madness. 

As I wrote to the very most wounded party of all

If I learned nothing else during The Relay I learned that no one should say anything to anyone at Cañada  College other than “holy crap balls am I tired!” or “where’s the food and the sleeping mats?”.

This is particularly true if you are racing in the rain.  Had it been a beautiful sunny day we would have thought nothing of heading down to the finish and slapying ourselves out on some blankets in the sun to  catch a few winks while we waited for our team but no sleep + cold + rain + prospect of hanging out in car = putting on the cranky pants. I only wish we had left them in the van and just said “Good Morning!”

*In all fairness to Santa Cruz the parking is limited and on a nice day all those vans just cause a nightmare of traffic problems.  Not that we had a nice day but you know….

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First of all I’d like to offer a shout out to my traveling companion and roomie Melinda.  We had only ever met once before on a ride and you just never know what you’re going to get when you’re about to spend 16 hours in a car and a couple nights in a hotel room with an almost stranger but she was great.  We had a really good time together so thanks for being my bud, Melinda!

Second of all I had a brief blogger meet up with Don of Studio YVR who I spotted at registration. 

Race Day

The Swim – I have a signature move!

It was really cold and windy in the morning.  I think everyone was pretty concerned that our hands and feet were half frozen before we’d even stepped in to the chilly waters of the Pacific Ocean but it was show time so oh well!  They send the waves off in 3 to 4 minute increments so you all have to line up in a chute by a sign that has your wave number on it (mine was 13) and then you are herded into the water.  Much to my delight that water felt warm and it didn’t occur to me that it was because I was so cold. I figured so many people had peed in the harbor they had raised the water temperature and on that delightful thought I swam out to the starting buoys.

BLANT! the air horn goes off and for the  first time in my history as a triathlete I had not one shred of panic.  I was just swimming in a crowd, trying to find some space and feeling good about my abilities.  I should have savored that moment quite a bit longer and remembered it later in the day.  I was doing great sighting, sticking close to the buoys and just counting to 100 over and over.  Then we got to the turn around buoys -yay!  I knew I was supposed to be sighting on the jetty to the right so why I took off to the left is any one’s guess.  I went from being in a crowd to being all alone which should have been a clue to look up and see where I was but no – my signature move is to get chased down by a kayak dude who is there to tell me I’m way off course.  And so I was – signature move accomplished! I just wish that kayak dude had seen me sooner and been faster because by the time he caught me  I was at least  50 yards parallel to the rest of the pack so I swam back that way and blindly made my way into the sun and back to the ramp.  As I approached the ramp I saw a big round bouy on the right and bunch of triangular buoys to the left of that which clearly meant swing right and head between them.  So I keep heading left until some guy is yelling ‘SWING RIGHT, SWING RIGHT!”  Signature move dos!  I finally find my way out and the swim is done in roughly 45 minutes – same as Vineman.  I was okay with that but clearly I need a new signature move.

T1 – Out of the water and the wetsuit helpers got me unzipped.  I should have asked them to strip me on top because as I started to run I pulled down the right sleeve which promptly got stuck on my stop watch.  And I mean stuck.  My left hand was frozen and inoperable so I just started running along shaking my hands in front of me like a nervous Nelly with stage fright.  By the time I got to the bike I had just enough dexterity to claw my sleeve off and get stripped and suited up for the bike.  FYI – I swam with my arm warmers under my wetsuit and that worked great.  I didn’t need them but I think I saved myself some sunburn.  Suited up and ready to rumble I was off.  T1 -  5:34  and I had no idea how it compared to Vineman.

The Bike – SCREW YOU WIND!

The bike started out great.  I felt like I was flying and in retrospect I must have had a tail wind.  I didn’t know that, though and  I was pretty high on my speed.  I got passed plenty because the waves behind me had all kinds of men and much younger women and I knew I’d be passed and I didn’t really care about that because I was doing a fair amount of passing myself.  Most of the ride is kind of a blur.  It was fun and pretty and speedy for quite a while.  I just kept anticipating  ‘the hill’ which I knew would come at about mile 40.  Only that wasn’t ‘the hill’.  The real hill – the one that kind of sucks the life out of you is the first little steep thing at about mile 28 and steep it is.  You can see it well ahead of time and you see a line of people snaking up it like ants.  I was still sort of naive when I got there because I was still thinking that ‘the hill’ was at mile 40.  I also thought this hill was about an 8% grade but no.  Turns out it gets as steep as 13% according to Melinda who has a Garmin with a really good altimiter in it.  I stayed on my bike and just ground it out and passed quite a few people – especially the ones that bailed and were walking their bikes up the hill.  Admittedly I used the small chain ring because I had it so why not?

After that the other hills didn’t seem like such a big deal and I just kept going. I never needed to resort to the little chain ring again and I was passing people like crazy on the climbs.  However, once the hill climbing was done I found that  I wasn’t going very fast and I was pretty upset about it.  Were my legs that trashed?  Was I on a false flat? What the hell?  None of the above  – it was the wind.  The in your face, frustrate you to death wind.  I hate wind.  Hills I don’t mind because I get gravity and I know I have to fight against it but wind is invisible. It makes noise and it pushes a little but mostly it makes you work really, really hard to keep up your forward momentum and I find it maddening. I could feel my 16+ mph average speed slipping away and it really bothered me but there was nothing to do but keep plowing through and get to the end of the ride and I finally did.

As  I approached the chute I noted my time on the bike (a temptation I resisted the entire ride) and was totally disappointed to see that my time was the same as Vineman.  Seriously.  In spite of the hills and the wind I was disappointed because I wanted a big PR in this race and so far the swim and the bike had been even.   This was the start of my undoing.
T2 – I was quick!  I got out of there in 2:22  but had no idea that was 2 minutes faster than Vineman which, had I been thinking about it, would have meant that I was set for a PR.

The Run – SCREW YOU SAND!

Out of the chute, down the road and into the sand.  Boy did that suck!  We had to run for about 1/4 of a mile on the beach 4 times.  Most of it was wet and packed but part of it was dry, fluffly sand that could easily have caused you to rip your knees apart.  I think I high stepped it the first time but after that I just walked that part in the interest of not getting hurt.

Anyhow – I had already given myself permission to take the first 3 miles to get my legs back which was good because they were really tight and hurting.  It seemed like it took forever to get to the first turn around and just before I got there I started thinking about how slow I was going and about how I would not have a PR and that lead to “I hate triathlon, I hate me – I suck, I have no business being out here, no PR for me today, Who do I think I am, I hate myself” and the tears started to well up in  my eyes.  “Oh no you don’t!  You do NOT get to cry and feel sorry for yourself.  You are doing a 70.3 mile race and you will finish and YOU WILL  NOT CRY!” and as I started to supress the tears something very bizarre happened.  I could feel my airways all slowly constricting like a deflating balloon and it freaked me out.  I’ve never had an asthma attack but I figured that’s what it was and was gasping for air  so I started walking and  forcing myself to relax and open up my airways.  Fortunately I was successul and I was at the turn around and that meant my 3 miles were up and it was time to run.

I ran – I picked up speed and I was doing great but now I was in pain and I was freaked out about the asthma thing.  I think I was wheezing for a little bit but then I seemed okay and I was just trying to run a 10 minute mile.  My plan had been to hold a steady 10 minute pace.  This was not to be, though.  I finally resorted to walking for 1 minute every once in a while.  I walked every other aid station.  I walked the sand.  I ran slower than a 10 minute pace and just kept going.  At that point my goal was to finish in a reasonable time.  I also realized I had no idea what my Vineman time was but I thought it was about 2:20.  Turns out it was 2:24 so had I known that and had I known that my T2 was 2 minutes faster I might have worked a little harder but no – I allowed the ugly inner voice that says “you suck” to have it’s way.  I hope it enjoyed that experience because THAT WAS THE LAST TIME, BUSTER!  In the future I WILL NOT BE BALKED!!

Finally I was off the sand for the last time and on my way in.  I ran because the crowds were thick and walking just didn’t look good.  I ran across the first set of mats that give the announcer the heads up that you are coming in.  I ran down the chute and they called my name and I gave a little hands in the air what what and I finished!  I had no idea what my time was.  As it turns out it was 2:29 – just 5 minutes off Vineman and net 3 minutes down from Vineman. 

The Finish

I had a crowd of team mates cheering me in and giving me hugs.  To Dana, Julie, Kate and Maggs I say thanks!  It’s so nice to have a welcoming committee just on the other side of the line.  I got my medal and shirt and hat and got my chip off and then went back to wait for Melinda to come in.  Later when I went to check the results they were up to 7:07 and I couldn’t find my name so I was sure my time was at least a 7:10 and I was really and truly bummed.  It wasn’t until later I found out that I came in at 6:59 - just 4 minutes behind my Vineman time. 

Lesson learned – no more stinkin’ thinkin’.  Had I known how close I was I would have worked a little harder and suffered a little more to at least meet my Vineman time and I would have been happy.  At this point I am happy.  I raced well and I raced hard and I’m a real rock star for doing it.

I’m re-energized about Vineman, too.  For a while there I was sorry I had signed up and just wanted to quit pretending to be a triathlete.  Yes – that’s how I was feeling. Now I’m ready to train hard and just kill it up there so look out you 55-59 year old ladies.  The new me is coming to get you.

Postscript -

I need to focus on always, always, always working as hard as I can no matter how I think I’m doing, no matter how bummed, no matter the pain.  This is racing and racing hurts but when you get done and you know you have given it everything it feels great and the pain is all worth it.  I think I’ve come this way before but I just didn’t grok it and I had no confidence.  I’m finally, finally coming to a place where I believe in myself as an athlete  and if I’m going to race I’m going to make it good.  This is particularly important given how expensive these races have gotten.  I can do a personal tri any time I want but entering a race means it’s business time.

The aid stations and the crowds were great at Oceanside.  They put your name on your bib and so many people called out “Keep it up, Pamela”  “Looking strong Pamela” Only 2 people called me Pam.  The kids at the aid station were very enthusiastic which, it turns out, is because they had a contest to see who could get the most votes.  They worked hard and it was great.  The military was great, too.  This race goes through Camp Pendleton and  makes a mess of traffic so a huge thank you to the people of Oceanside who had to endure long waits to cross the road and to  law enforcement and the military for directing traffic.

Forward Motion Race Club had a great day at the races.  We had 2 Kona qualifiers and 4 people on the podium.  Congratulations to Dean, Kim, Steve and Kate, all members of our Elite Team. Well done!  Everyone had a good day and a great time.

Oops – I sprayed myself with sunscreen but forgot that the new kit had a different cut and I missed spraying my back.  That was my last lesson learned:

How would this look in a backless evening gown?

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Uno – The Ironman 70.3 Championship race is going to air on NBC on April 12. Here, for your viewing pleasure is a trailer.

If you tossed your hat in the Kona Lottery ring be sure to watch because the names of those chosen will be scrolled across the screen.  The fun begins at 4:30 EST.

2 Peas in a Pod-  My health care insurance “provider” and I use that term loosely since right now they provide me with a way to spend a lot of money for insurance I can’t really use, did something spectacularly idiotic the other day.  Imagine that.  They used an automated phone message and sent a glossy, expensive mailer describing a FREE language service they offer for non-English speakers – in English.  Way to reach out to your target audience, idiots!

Three Amigos – I’ve been fretting about my weight lately.  I know, I know I am not SUPPOSED to do that because it makes my daughters think  I am being neurotic and stupid but I do it so I’m writing about it. Anyhow, my weight seems to have taken on a life of its own and the number on the scale just keeps getting bigger.    The other day I realized that my dark jeans seems like they fit really well and then I remembered that when I was at IMCDA last year I kept complaining about how big my damn pants were and how they kept falling off – so much so that DPRwas about really to throttle me.  So when I realized the dark jeans fit I panicked and then I had a thought. I reached around the back where a leather patch should be and there was none.  Different pants.  Different size.  Smaller.  No worries.  PHEW!  I’m still annoyed with my weight but I’m not going to deal with it until after Saturday.

Quatro - more fun with advertising.  I caught an ad the other day for a men’s hair color product called ‘Touch of Gray’.  It combs over gray selectively leaves enough to keep you swaggering around with that distinguished look.  The last line of the commercial, uttered by Mr. Only-Gray-Enough-To-Look-Distinguished was, “Now I look like I know what I’m doing and can still do it!”  with the hot babe winking at him from across the room. Subtle, non?  No. 

  Then there was an ad for the Schick Quattro Shaver for women that handles all of your hair removal needs.  It passes over bushes in various shapes with various shaping needs, the last of which is in the shape of a triangle.  So very subtle. 

Lastly- I’m out of here tomorrow. I’m doing a little memorial/tribute run tonight to support the family of one of the fallen police officers who died at the hands of a parole violator with some automatic and semi-automatic guns in his possession. Tragic.

I’m feeling okay about this race but just okay. This post is sort of emblematic with me dodging the reality by distracting myself with other stuff.  I’ve trained more than I trained for Vineman and I’m stronger but this is a harder bike course so I don’t have a good sense of how well I can do. Whatever it is will be fine. I’m fortunate to be able to do this at all. I’d like to say that I’m satisified with that but I’m not. I’m already afraid of failing myself on this one. I’ll just have to channel that fear into some speed and have the best race I could possibly have. I know I’ll have you all cheering me on and that helps – believe me – it helps a lot!

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First of all, I know how to make use of a neglected weight bench.  I turned it into a bike stand so I could clean my bike to a state of race ready shiny bright goodness.  Observe:

Working the weight bench like it's never been worked before

Just add PVC and voila!

So Shiney I couldn't get it in focus!

I also looked up how to fix a problem I was having with the chain dropping.  I have a triple on that bike and although I do my level best never to use the small chain ring (thereby making me work harder than you people with a compact double and yes – I mean YOU Cheryl if I want it I don’t want to fall over because the chain jams between the ring and the frame.  So, thanks to the largess of the interwebs I found out how to fix it by adjusting the cable and now it’s fine.  Very excited about that!

Tomorrow I will do this ride again:

That ride compares pretty favorably to Oceanside except it’s a little harder:

Three Bears vs. Oceanside

This will be the 4th or 5th time I’ve done this ride this year and so far so good so I think that means I’m ready.  Sunday I run easy for 90 minute and then I will rest Monday, easy spin ride Tuesday, swim easy with a short easy  run Wed, drive to Oceanside on Thursday and rock the chaise lounge, pick up my stuff Friday and rock the chaise lounge some more then eat a nice dinner, hit the hay early, get up in the morning and race!

The weather is supposed to be nice. I have a bunch of people doing this with me and I’m trained.  I don’t think it gets any better than that.

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And then it hits you – what if I can’t?  What if it won’t?  What if I get ready and really try and it just doesn’t happen?  And then all goes flat and dull and nothing works.  Oh yes – you’ve been there, my friend.  We’ve all been there.

That’s where I am right now.  I’m just not sure I can pull it off.  I know I’ve gotten  there before through true dedication and attention to detail and it was good, no – it was great.  But this time?  I don’t know.  I’m feeling unsure, like maybe my experience will fail me and I’ll go all rookie and go out too fast and then fizzle out.    I’ve got it bad – race day anxiety.

Oceanside 70.3 is but 15 days off and I’m having some trouble adhering to my training plan. I feel done with that and just want to go and sort of  hold my breath, squeeze my eyelids together good and hard and go for it!  And yet training is not done.  It’s not time.  It isn’t even taper time.  It’s also very difficult to race while holding your breath and not looking at where you are going.

I will try to stop looking up the results of all my competitors and worrying about in what place I will finish.  I will try to remember that it’s all about fun – FUN!  This is fun!  Yes – FUN FUN FUN!!!  I love fun.  Who doesn’t love fun?  Do you love fun?  I love fun and worry is not fun.  Going to the beach is fun so I will go to the beach and I will have joyful beach fun.  Want to come?  

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