Saturday was long run day – I had to run 2 hours.  It was also a day when many members of my club race at the Back to School 5K or 10K and those not racing go out and volunteer.  Many of my New Triathlete Program people (NTP aka newbies) said they would volunteer and I really wanted to be there to see them the day before our big triathlon and just to be a part of it all.  I also really needed to go see my foster kid for whom I am an advocate through the Court Appointed Special Advocates program (check out the national site to see more).  This child lives hours from me so I had to allocate 2 hours to run and 5 hours of travel time plus the visit plus I had to be up at OMG:thirty on Sunday so I needed to get home early.  I couldn’t work out getting the race in (I guess I could have raced 10K and then run another hour but there aren’t any showers there and racing wasn’t on the plan) so I didn’t go and it felt sort of wrong but very right.  There are things in life that really are more important than triathlon and race clubs and foster kids in need of an anchor is definitely one of them.

My 2 hour run was fine – it felt good and that was exciting because the run and I have not been such good friends lately.  Score!

Sunday was the day of the race I’ve been training the Newbies for.  Most of them had already done a shorter sprint and some had even done an Olympic distance race but this was our big club event and I was so excited.  I didn’t race but I did do the swim with a woman who was very nervous about getting run over by the swim waves behind us (our club gets to go in the first wave en masse and there was quite a mass of us!).  I was there to defend her water space and help her stay calm and I did and she exited the water all in one piece.  After that I ran up to the bike course to cheer people on and then I headed up to the water station to cheer some more and pass out water. Turns out I positioned myself incorrectly and missed some people that way but it was fun.  Then I went down to the finish line to cheer everyone in.

I really wanted o stay and be at the award ceremony and just hang out and talk to everyone about their race  and I wish I had because NTP had people on the podium! How great is that??!!  Alas – I had a long ride on the plan so off I went with my 2 new BFFs and a friend of theirs.  It was a tough, long ride and it was hot and windy but it was great.  There was a moment when I was sure I couldn’t do it and I really worried about how I was going to get out of there but some cold water and a PayDay later and I was fine and rode strong – no problem.

Elevation from gpsvisualizer (top) and from MapMyRide (bottom)

That's it - you ride almost 40 miles and this is what is there

We got back to the park where our cars were right about the time the Challenge Weekend Celebration BBQ was starting but we were sweaty and gross and really needed to get cleaned up.  I had neglected to bring clean clothes but my BFFs had several outfits each with them as well as soap and shampoo and cream rinse so we all used the outdoor, cold water shower and cleaned up in our tri suits and then put clean clothes on (in the privacy of the ladies changing room) and finally, finally headed to the party arriving a mere 90 minutes late to a 2 hour party.  Great.

But it was great because I got a chance to say some words about my fabulous Newbies who stepped up and trained and made their dreams come true.  I’ve hatched a litter of tri-junkies and I couldn’t be happier about it.  I’m so proud of them and so very happy to have played a role in giving them a chance to do something they might not otherwise have done.  I said my words and I handed out a little memento to each of them and then they took the floor.  One of them read a whole story about how there is no “I” in  TEAM and about how great the program had been and how she had made friends and accomplished something wonderful.  Another woman gave a speech about me that made me blush and made me proud and made me feel loved  and then they gave me something to remember this inaugural season with – a Garmin 310XT and a $50 gift certificate to Forward Motion Store, our primary benefactor.  Wow – just wowl  *Channeling Sally Field* -“You LIKE me… right now.  You  LIKE me!”  I’m so humbled and so happy and so very jazzed about my new toy!  But I’m more jazzed that several of the newbies want to ban together to train for an Oly.  Success!

Looking forward, one of the things possibly on my plate is getting a slot for IM Canada when I race Oceanside.  Because it is so early in the year the carrot they dangle to athletes is the potential to get a slot at any of a couple of NA Sports M-dot races and Canada  is one of them (but shhh… don’t tell everyone about this because it’s kind of a secret, okay?).  I have several friends who are going to race and a few more racing Oceanside so they can get slots.  It’s a possibility but one I don’t think I’ll take because this weekend I figured out something really important about me.

My “moment” came when I realized that triathlon is a fundamentally self indulgent endeavor but I am not a fundamentally self indulgent person.  I spend a lot of time volunteering and giving to others because I like it and it makes me feel good.    I feel good about having become an athlete, too but the trade offs cause me stress. This weekend was a great example of that where I was torn between being with my race club and being with my foster kid and being with my race club and getting in my training.  I had to just take a deep breath and let it go but it was difficult.  It all worked out in the end but in the process it made me feel a little crazy.

I’d like to do the NTP next year again and I’d like to help organize this year’s newbies to train for an Oly and I’d like to train with them.  This year my direct participation in their training fell off because I signed up for Beach 2 Battleship and if I raced Canada I’d have a worse problem because it is in August and the training would consume my whole summer.    So again – the opportunity for conflict and stress is huge and I’m a ‘want it all’ kind of gal.  I’m a problem solver, too so here’s the solution:    I’m going to race Oceanside which means training up  a 70.3 on  March 27.  I’ve also decided that  I’m going to attend IM St. George in some capacity.  If I love 140.6 after B2B I might do a fund raiser and buy a community slot for 2010 (I’d pay my $550 and raise the rest) and attend IM  St. George as a participant.   If  I don’t want to do that I can just go be a Sherpa and then sign up for 2011 on-site.  Either way my IM training and season will be over in early May at the latest  and I can get on with the business of playing, training  newbies, and racing shorter distance races.  Brilliant and perfect and what a great Monday it’s been.

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The Swim -If you’ve been following this blog for a few years you know that 2 out of 2 prior runnings of this race (2007, 2008)had me coming out of the water, traversing the nasty river rock and falling down with an extremely painful cramp in my calf.  My first goal for this race was to not have this happen.  I swam kind of easy, counting to 100 over and over again and as I approached the swim out I did the breast stroke for a little bit to stretch my legs.  It worked!  I got out of the water sans cramp.  Mission accomplished!

T1 - as always I couldn’t get my wetsuit off over my feet.  I need to work on this because it kills me every time.  There was not a single bike in the FMRC rack I was in   but this was to be expected because the only other woman in my wave I could think of in that moment  is a really strong athlete and really competitive.  There was a 3rd rack I didn’t check but if I had I would have noticed 1 bike and remembered there were 2 in my wave.

The Bike - I rode 50 miles on Saturday so my legs had a little wear and tear on them and I could hear them whimpering softly  but I felt okay. I passed people and people passed me.  I never once saw a woman in my AG which which made me think I was either dead last out of  the water or had a phenomenal swim.   I didn’t know so I let it go.  I did get passed at mile 7 by the other woman in my club and in my swim wave who also happens to be in my New Triathlete Program.  I’m going to have to strip her newbie status immediately!    I  tried to ride as hard as I could but made  a conscience decision not to watch my speed on my bike computer.  Big mistake – huge mistake.  Percieved effort is crap for me.  Numbers rule.  Lesson learned.

Someone is NOT in her happy place!

T2 - As I came into T2 I heard the announcer call my name and the name of another woman and I heard him say “Number 1 and 2 in our later  age group” which was secret code for “old ladies division” but the young guys never say stuff like that. Anyhow, there were these 2 women standing by my full rack and I said excuse me and then I said “did he just say that?  Did he just say #1 and #2?”  Of course they had  no idea because they were just hanging out in transition shucking and jiving while their friends/Sos raced but they said, “Yeah!” so I said “OMG – no pressure there!” and I took off.

That bit of misinformation was key for me.  I had to keep running lest I made it out of T2 before the other woman did.  I had to put some distance between us so I ran as best I could. I passed the first water station and just kept going since I had about 5 gallons of water in me.

The Run – The run was really hard for me.  It seemed like about 100 miles to the mile 1 marker but I just kept going with the pep talk (you can do it!  just keep running!   legs? what legs? go! go! go!). My goal was to put as much space between her and me so she could never catch me, assuming I got out there first.  I didn’t see her ahead of me so I stuck with that assumption.  It was a huge struggle, though.

I  am eternally grateful to the woman who saw me take a couple of walking steps who called out “you’re almost to the turn around!” so I ran.  I did my best not to look back and just kept running knowing I could search for my adversary after the turn around.  There she was, about a 1/2 mile behind me – too close for comfort.  I thought about giving in to my desire to walk and then I thought “suppose you give up 2nd for 3rd – how would THAT be, Missy??!!” and I kept running.

The brain is a powerful enemy in these races and mine was saying “WHO CARES??!! – JUST WALK IT!”  And I gave in – for a count of 10 and then I ran again.  I thought about how stupid it is that I race and wondered, for the 9,000th time why I can’t just spend my time kayaking and wind surfing like a normal middle-aged woman.   I walked up a hill encouraged by a42 year old  man who said “that’s right – walk the hills, why not?” and I hate that but then I realized I was right behind the guy who had run it (M 49) so I started running and let that guy be my pacer.

Right before the finish of Folsom you go off the paved trail and run on a rocky, dirt trail. This is where the lady passed me 2 years ago and then beat me by 18 seconds. This is where I heard foot falls behind me last year and   thought “oh no you don’t!” and picked it up to come in 10 seconds before Ms Footfalls who was in my AG.   This is where I picked it up again in an effort not to get burned by the enemy behind me.  Turns out I really didn’t need to do that but I really did need to be done.

And there I was -  DONE!  And I looked at my watch and it said 3:19 and I was hating on me, triathlon and my legs – most especially my legs.  Last year  I did this race in 3:02 so the 3:19 did not put me in my happy place.  I was pretty sure I suck and should just hang up my running shoes but about 20 minutes later I went to the computer guy who gave me my splits and said “3rd in your Age Group”.  “NO WAY!”

I wondered and wondered how I came in 3rd if I was 2nd or 1st in T2 and I realized there was no way.  First of all I didn’t get passed by anyone in my AG on the run.  Second of all when I look at the results it’s clear that #1 and #2 were way out there by the time I got on the run.  They beat me by 37 and 22 minutes respectively.  I beat #4 by 20 minutes so I guess I did drop her good and hard.

So where did I lose those 10 minutes?  How was it that I was unable to reach my main goal for this race – to go sub 3:00??

1). The swim.  My swim time was off by 6 minutes. Holy Moly!  I checked times for several other races and everyone was off 2-4 minutes (I’m kind of “special” with 6) so I expect the swim was a bit long.  I also suspect I didn’t swim very well.

2). The Bike – if I had been watching my speed I would have gone faster.  Plain and simple.  Lesson learned.  I was 2 minutes slower.  On the other hand I rode 50 miles the day before so that was a problem  That’s all the more reason I should have gone by speed being that I’m pain averse.

3).  The Run – I have not been running enough and I just need to HTFU on the run in general.  I was off by 3 minutes and I suspect the 75 miles on the bikein 2 days  had quite a bit to do with that.

The long ride yesterday was about training for endurance.  That’s what I need to be doing. I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it to race a distance I’m not training for and I really don’t know.  That having been said I’ll be doing a sprint on Sept. 20 and then next up is B2B 140.6.  I wonder how I’ll feel on that run?

Stats:

Swim 35:40.2; T1 2:28.4, Bike 1:25.11, T2 1:20.3, Run 1:08.11  Total time 3:12:51 (apparently my watch is what sucks)

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Race Day  –

Setting up – One of these things is not like the other:

We got to T1 to set up and I unrolled my socks to discover that one was the kind that goes just to the top of your shoe and the other one was an ankle sock.  I should have taken a picture but I didn’t.  I did decide that the mis-matched socks were a good luck charm and carried on.  I didn’t have a lot of time before my wave went off so  I went through the normal pre-race port-a-potty panic (I was still in line with 14 minutes until my start) but it all worked out and I was on the beach in my wetsuit, cap, goggles and wearing my chip with moments to spare.

The Swim – Is for Fish    

Meh.  I swam.  As always I spent the entire time wondering what the hell I was doing in the water.  Water is for fish – people don’t belong there and OMG will I NEVER get to the turn around???!!! When I finally got there I felt something hit my foot and realized it was the bottom of the river.  I could see the bottom of the river and I could touch it. Absurd.  I stood up to take a look around and then dove back in, being careful not to scrape my nose,  and finished my swim doing my normal crazy zig zag  in my normal 45 minutes which was okay because I have not been swimming much lately.

T1 -  Bikes!

There were bikes still in the rack!!  I was very excited and uplifted by that.  I had a hard time getting my wetsuit off (nothing new there!) but I got it all together, stuffed my wetsuit and towel and cap and goggles in the plastic bag and took off.

The Bike – What Scenery?

When I first got going there was a woman with a 59 on her leg ahead of me.  I decided I would just pace off of her for while but then I felt like I was going too slow and it bugged me so I passed her.  We played cat and mouse for a long time and I came to know her as “59″ because I didn’t make nice and exchange names with her.  I was killing it on the hills and she would pass me on the flats.  I finally got tired of 59 and just dropped her at about mile 40, before Chalk Hill.  I didn’t see her again for a very long time.

I noticed a few interesting things on this bike ride. First of all I noticed every once in a while I would look up and think “oh – it’s so pretty out here” which was a distinct difference from last year when I found the race so annoying for disrupting my sight-seeing time.  Last year as I got near Chalk Hill I found myself in the center of a lot of chatter about the hill and this year I was annoyed at the prospect.  But  I wasn’t cruising with a steady crowd all around me.  I was riding and either passing people or getting passed but no one was tittering about a hill that really isn’t that big a deal.

I had wanted to have a 20 minute PR over last year’s bike split of 3:37   As I got to the top of Chalk Hill and looked at my watch and saw 3:45 I wanted to cry.  How COULD that happen??? I was so much faster.  Then I looked again and realized that was 3:45 total – including the swim and T1  and I looked at the other time on the watch which was 2:53 so I was happy – oh so very happy because in my head T2 was down the hill and around the corner.  Only it wasn’t. The ride kept going and going and going and I started thinking “give me some chute – this distance is killing my time!!” and then I thought “oh – yeah – that’s how this goes. PEDAL FASTER!”

Total bike time was 3:19 which was 2 minutes longer than I wanted it to be but it was still great.  According to my favorite pace calculator 56 miles in 3:19 is a pace of 16.8 mph which made me very happy.

T2 – bikes, damnit

I found my spot easily and switched my stuff.  Nothing interesting there except there were alot of bikes in the rack. I put that out of my mind because it was women 45+ so that was 3 age groups below mine as well as my own so big deal, right?  I did my best not to dwell on the obvious and just got the hell out of there.

The Run – My Journey Through Hell 

I started out running and thinking “oh my – it’s hot” and found myself really pushing to keep running to the first aid station which is just after mile 1.  Not a happy thing.  In fact I found myself walking very early on and thinking “come on – just run. You can do it – just run” but it was really hard.  It also occurred to me that the race was going to take a very, very long time if I kept walking so I did my best to run when I could.  Every time I saw someone in FoMo team kit I tried to pick it up and whoever saw me would say “You look great!” When my friend Joe said that to me I responded,  “Is always better to look good than to feel good” because I did not feel good.  I felt wrung out and limp and hot… so very, very hot.

I tried to focus on short term goals – the next aid station, that cow up there, the next house, “run the flats you can walk the hills” but it was a death march from the get go.  I forged on  just waiting to get to the winery which gets you to the half way point.  When I got there I convinced myself that the irrigation ponds and the moisture from the grape plants  made it cooler and that it was easier to run on the dirt. That worked and gave me a good mile’s worth of running and then I made a decision to stop at the porta-potties as I came out.  Big mistake.  Huge mistake.  It was even hotter in there, I didn’t really need to go that badly and when I got who should I see right ahead of me but 59.  DAMMIT!  I started running and I passed her and said, “and so we meet again” and made some comment about the heat but pretty soon I found myself walking again and she passed me and I just couldn’t muster the energy to take her.  I let her go.

With about 4 miles left, after walking for way too much of the race, inspired by 2 men who had decided to walk the whole thing, I got sick of it all.  I also got passed by a woman with 55 on  her calf and I thought “oh no – I’m losing another place.  This is no good at all” I picked it up and ran and passed her and then I started to walk and she passed me. I started thinking I would let her have it and then I thought “OH NO YOU DI’NT!” and I started running and she started walking and I kept running.  I had no idea where she was but after considering letting her take my place a couple more times I resolved to hang on and keep her behind me and I did.

The Finish

I forced myself to run from one light post to the next…. run to the mailbox and you get to walk from 1 light post to next and then run, run for 3 light posts and you can walk for 1 and then finally, finally I was at the point where people were cheering and ringing cowbells and I ran.. I ran and ran and ran because the Vineman has the most torturous path to the chute of any race in the world and you hear “almost there – just 5,000 meters to go!” over and over and then finally you are running on the grass and you run some more “just 100 meters to go!” and finally you hit the first mat and you know the guy is looking up your name and then you hear you name and WOO HOO!!!! you smile and give a little what what arms in the air and finally, finally you are DONE!

I was more than done  I was cooked to well done.  Charcol briquet done.  Don’t even stick a fork in me because I’m so dried out  it will just blow a hole in me.  Done.  And just after I crossed that line 55 came in behind me – 11 seconds off my time – woot!

My run took a whopping 2:50 and more than eroded the bike PR for a finish time of 7:02 over last year’s 6:55.  On the plus side I didn’t die  – I didn’t even quit.

In Conclusion

The biggest thing I learned, and I’ve learned it before which is why it was such a big lesson this time. is that I never, ever, ever want to finish another race wondering if I could have gone harder.  I feel that way about this race.  I know it was very hot but I’m not convinced I worked as hard as I could have and I hate that feeling.  This isn’t the first time I’ve felt that way but I intend to make it the last time.  Oh yes I do.  And you know what?  The next time is a new race.  There’s always a new race and another day and you can always try again and tri harder.

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I have one pair of shoes I’m particularly fond of. I picked them up at Ross for $20 before I went to Peru. They are slip on, low rise, leather shoes and they are like walking on air. I also went to Clarks and bought a cute pair of $120 Mary Janes but the $20 specials turned out to be the shoes of choice.

My shoes also have kind of a life of their own and they live in various places in my room. Most of the time they sneak out en masse and park themselves in front of my dressers. Occasionally I toss them all back in the closet – generally on the right side. I have a shoe rack but the shoes rebel, scattering themselves helter skelter as they please. I also have a shoe bag thing on the left side of the closet for seldom worn shoes.

A couple of weeks ago I went to put on my favorite black shoes and they were not in front of the dresser. Hmm.. a lot of other shoes were there but not those. I looked in the closet – I didn’t see them. I started hauling shoes out and re-arranging them in pairs but no favorite shoes were to be found. I was sad and confused.

I found another pair of shoes (2nd favorite pair of black shoes) and went off to my meeting. I decided that I must have left favorite shoes in Oceanside and they were gone. That hardly seemed possible since I was pretty sure I had worn flip flops and/or running shoes down there and yet my shoes were gone and there was no other explanation.

I was so sad. I thought about how I tramped all over in Peru in those shoes and about how they could never be replaced – I didn’t even know who made them. Then I thought about how for many women in Peru a lost a pair of shoes would leave them with no shoes at all or with maybe a pair of sandals. That was a sobering thought and forced me to rapidly get over my sense of loss and count my blessings.

A few days ago I was trying to figure out which of my many running shoes I wanted to wear. I just wasn’t in the mood for the ones currently in circulation and needed an old stand-by and I knew some of them were in the shoe bag on the left side of the closet. I looked in there and what should I spy with my little eye? FAVORITE BLACK LEATHER SHOES! Not lost at all.

In a similar vein, as I was getting ready for Anchorman I went through my transition bag and mentally through my transitions and I realized my race belt was missing. For the uneducated a race belt is an elastic belt with a couple of clips on it that you use to attach your bib number to. It keeps you from having to pin the number on your shirt which, for a triathlon that starts with a swim, doesn’t work so well. So I’m frantically ripping apart the transition bag trying to find the belts. No belts. I go through the drawers where they should be. No belts. I clearly remember unpacking from The Relay and putting them away but I cannot, not for the life of me, remember where I put them. It’s now 10:30 PM and I have to get up at 3:45 to get ready for this race – CRAP! I think to myself, don’t panic… just go brush your teeth, relax your mind and you will remember. Teeth brushed – memory gone. Finally I looked at another drawer unit and thought “oh yeah- I have some room in there. Maybe that’s where I put them” and sure enough – there they were. Phew! I finished packing and hit the sack.

I thought about all of this for a while and it occurred to me that it’s really nice that I can turn my thoughts from my personal loss to the plight of shoeless women in Peru. It’s also nice that if I put something on the back burner of my mind it will usually wander forward and I’ll find it. But mostly I thought…. I had a thought… what was that thought? I know I had one….hmmmm… I’ll get back to you when I find it.

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Here’s what I did over this long weekend (warning – this is probably really boring but I’m doing it anyhow because I don’t have time to be interesting and you asked me to blog so I’m blogging!)

Friday – Swim masters (2100 meters with a lot of kicking and breast stroke); run 40 minutes having to pep talk myself the entire way (come on – one more song.. just keep going.. you can do it), OWS in the evening with a whole flock of people for probably about 1400 meters.  Of course I zig zagged all over and could NOT get to the rest of the people and they just kept being ‘out there’ so I finally gave up and swam in, blinded by the sun.  Note to self – wear mirrored goggles next time and stay on someone’s feet!

Follow up swim with burgers and wine with favored training bud Caroline.

Saturday – leisurely ride with BFF masters friends and  former riding partners, one of whom is recovering from a back problem then drive out to time trial clinic and do 2 laps (3 miles) in the horrific wind.  Got 5 seconds faster the second time around so yea!

After ride head out to East Stump Hole to spend the day with CASA kid.  Get home at 9:00 PM (because it’s a 2.5 hour drive out to see CASA kid)

Sunday – run with newbies in my New Triathlete Progam (I got 20 people in the program – woot!), talk about importance of stretching and demo foam roller.

Then go for trail run up Mt. Diablo with Caroline.

Monday – get ass handed to me riding with my training BFFs Dana and Maggs who were doing a dress rehersal for IM CdA.  I thought that if they already had 56 miles on their legs I could keep up. WRONG!  I struggled desperately to hang on to a wheel and was successful at times but would then lose it.  Net result was 40 miles at 16.7 mph average – PR!  I’ve never ridden that far, that fast before and we were going into the wind much of the time.   I ♥  training with those ladies.  They did another 16 to finish off a full 112.  They are machines!   I think they ran for 6 miles after that, too.  I ran for 15 minutes and baby it was HOT.

Go to other BFF training friend Vali’s house for BBQ which was both delicious and fun.

Today – rest day!  I worked but it felt like rest after all of that.

Tomorrow- swim/run

Thursday – conquer Mt. Diablo with Maggs. I am determined to make it all the way to the very, very top!  I’ll let you know how it goes.

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I think Mr. Runner Susan will be there, too.  Lucky guy, non?

In other dating news I got back on match.com last Thursday  and my profile has been view over 480 times.  I got 1 email from a guy whose profile reads:

“Im a old fashion country guy who loves rodeos and country music.  Im currently divorced and im looking for a nice country girl. I like fun and respectful women. I do have kids. I like football and warm nights by a fire. I guess u could say im adventrous”

You think he actually read my profile?  Me either.  I told him I didn’t think we had anything in common and his response was

Subject:  Your Choice

Body of message “I tried beautiful im a good man and i would treat you good “

I’m still taking a pass.

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7 AM – Fabulous Open Water Swim Clinic where I learned some great stuff about sighting that might even keep the kayak guys from having to chase me down next time I race – awesome!

8:30 – coffee and fruit

9:00 – Trail Run.  I was feeling kind of trashed and really slow so I only went part way and then turned around.  I still managed 10 min miles so I’ll take it.

10:00 – Shop at Trader Joe for fruit, bread and other stuff

11:00 – make delicious French Toast and fruit salad with yogurt

12:00 – Nap!

1:00 – conference call with 2 lovely daughters to revel in Mother’s Day love (son had already wished me Happy Mother’s Day in person)

1:30 – work around back yard

3:00 – head to nursery to pick up some more vegetables and flowers.

4:00 – home again.

4:30 – Nap!

5:30 – spend some time with son

6:00 – head out to pick up delicious Thai food

6:30 – eat delicious food, read paper

8:00 – put clean sheets on bed

8:30 – color hair and shower

9:00 -  watch Desperate Housewives and decide it’s time for that show to toss in the towel

10:00 – watch Brother’s and Sisters and draw same conclusion

11:00 – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

In the spirit of sharing I’ve added a  good Dave Scott swim video that addresses the issue of sighting.

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So here’s what I did this weekend.

First Climb Diablo to Junction then climb Morgan Terrirtory

** update**

I just re-read this post and realized that if you aren’t a cyclist it sounds like I am a nutjob who speaks in some strange tongue.  I’m not going to re-write it.  Just an observation.

** 

That second climb looks a lot like the first but the general concensus around here is that it is much harder. I didn’t really know when the climb started because the road winds  through a heavily wooded area so you can’t see what’s coming. I found myself thinking “this had better be the climb because if it isn’t I’m in a heap ‘o trouble!”  When we got to the very steepest part I had no idea what to expect and my HR was in the stratosphere so I stopped for a minute to let it go down.  Then I started up again – going up a steep hill.  It’s still easier when you have O2 in the system.  Of course that part  flattened out a bit just around the corner but the climb was not done.  Oh no – there was a ways to go.

I only used the little chain ring for that 1 part and the rest of the time was in the middle chain ring.  My climbing was really good and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment for having done this.  On the way back a couple of fast guys pulled us slower riders in and then I kind of ran out of gas.  When we were just about back – close enough that I got dropped, I flatted.  No princes in shining spandex came back to rescue me so I had to change my own tire.  I was actually kind of glad of that, too because I did it in a relatively short amount of time and it worked and it’s always nice to know you can save yourself.

Sunday I took a nice recovery ride follwed by a whopping 20 minute run and Monday I did an open water swim and a little run – a whole 30 minutes.  My next race is The Relay which is all run.  It takes you from Calistoga to Santa Cruz (199 miles) in 36 legs for each 12 person team.  That means you run 3 times in about 30 or so hours so I need to practice running some more.  I think I’ll skip practicing the sleep deprivation and enduring a lot of stink, though.  That is something that needs to be endured real time because there’s just no reasonable way to simulate that experience.

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First of all I’d like to offer a shout out to my traveling companion and roomie Melinda.  We had only ever met once before on a ride and you just never know what you’re going to get when you’re about to spend 16 hours in a car and a couple nights in a hotel room with an almost stranger but she was great.  We had a really good time together so thanks for being my bud, Melinda!

Second of all I had a brief blogger meet up with Don of Studio YVR who I spotted at registration. 

Race Day

The Swim – I have a signature move!

It was really cold and windy in the morning.  I think everyone was pretty concerned that our hands and feet were half frozen before we’d even stepped in to the chilly waters of the Pacific Ocean but it was show time so oh well!  They send the waves off in 3 to 4 minute increments so you all have to line up in a chute by a sign that has your wave number on it (mine was 13) and then you are herded into the water.  Much to my delight that water felt warm and it didn’t occur to me that it was because I was so cold. I figured so many people had peed in the harbor they had raised the water temperature and on that delightful thought I swam out to the starting buoys.

BLANT! the air horn goes off and for the  first time in my history as a triathlete I had not one shred of panic.  I was just swimming in a crowd, trying to find some space and feeling good about my abilities.  I should have savored that moment quite a bit longer and remembered it later in the day.  I was doing great sighting, sticking close to the buoys and just counting to 100 over and over.  Then we got to the turn around buoys -yay!  I knew I was supposed to be sighting on the jetty to the right so why I took off to the left is any one’s guess.  I went from being in a crowd to being all alone which should have been a clue to look up and see where I was but no – my signature move is to get chased down by a kayak dude who is there to tell me I’m way off course.  And so I was – signature move accomplished! I just wish that kayak dude had seen me sooner and been faster because by the time he caught me  I was at least  50 yards parallel to the rest of the pack so I swam back that way and blindly made my way into the sun and back to the ramp.  As I approached the ramp I saw a big round bouy on the right and bunch of triangular buoys to the left of that which clearly meant swing right and head between them.  So I keep heading left until some guy is yelling ‘SWING RIGHT, SWING RIGHT!”  Signature move dos!  I finally find my way out and the swim is done in roughly 45 minutes – same as Vineman.  I was okay with that but clearly I need a new signature move.

T1 – Out of the water and the wetsuit helpers got me unzipped.  I should have asked them to strip me on top because as I started to run I pulled down the right sleeve which promptly got stuck on my stop watch.  And I mean stuck.  My left hand was frozen and inoperable so I just started running along shaking my hands in front of me like a nervous Nelly with stage fright.  By the time I got to the bike I had just enough dexterity to claw my sleeve off and get stripped and suited up for the bike.  FYI – I swam with my arm warmers under my wetsuit and that worked great.  I didn’t need them but I think I saved myself some sunburn.  Suited up and ready to rumble I was off.  T1 -  5:34  and I had no idea how it compared to Vineman.

The Bike – SCREW YOU WIND!

The bike started out great.  I felt like I was flying and in retrospect I must have had a tail wind.  I didn’t know that, though and  I was pretty high on my speed.  I got passed plenty because the waves behind me had all kinds of men and much younger women and I knew I’d be passed and I didn’t really care about that because I was doing a fair amount of passing myself.  Most of the ride is kind of a blur.  It was fun and pretty and speedy for quite a while.  I just kept anticipating  ‘the hill’ which I knew would come at about mile 40.  Only that wasn’t ‘the hill’.  The real hill – the one that kind of sucks the life out of you is the first little steep thing at about mile 28 and steep it is.  You can see it well ahead of time and you see a line of people snaking up it like ants.  I was still sort of naive when I got there because I was still thinking that ‘the hill’ was at mile 40.  I also thought this hill was about an 8% grade but no.  Turns out it gets as steep as 13% according to Melinda who has a Garmin with a really good altimiter in it.  I stayed on my bike and just ground it out and passed quite a few people – especially the ones that bailed and were walking their bikes up the hill.  Admittedly I used the small chain ring because I had it so why not?

After that the other hills didn’t seem like such a big deal and I just kept going. I never needed to resort to the little chain ring again and I was passing people like crazy on the climbs.  However, once the hill climbing was done I found that  I wasn’t going very fast and I was pretty upset about it.  Were my legs that trashed?  Was I on a false flat? What the hell?  None of the above  – it was the wind.  The in your face, frustrate you to death wind.  I hate wind.  Hills I don’t mind because I get gravity and I know I have to fight against it but wind is invisible. It makes noise and it pushes a little but mostly it makes you work really, really hard to keep up your forward momentum and I find it maddening. I could feel my 16+ mph average speed slipping away and it really bothered me but there was nothing to do but keep plowing through and get to the end of the ride and I finally did.

As  I approached the chute I noted my time on the bike (a temptation I resisted the entire ride) and was totally disappointed to see that my time was the same as Vineman.  Seriously.  In spite of the hills and the wind I was disappointed because I wanted a big PR in this race and so far the swim and the bike had been even.   This was the start of my undoing.
T2 – I was quick!  I got out of there in 2:22  but had no idea that was 2 minutes faster than Vineman which, had I been thinking about it, would have meant that I was set for a PR.

The Run – SCREW YOU SAND!

Out of the chute, down the road and into the sand.  Boy did that suck!  We had to run for about 1/4 of a mile on the beach 4 times.  Most of it was wet and packed but part of it was dry, fluffly sand that could easily have caused you to rip your knees apart.  I think I high stepped it the first time but after that I just walked that part in the interest of not getting hurt.

Anyhow – I had already given myself permission to take the first 3 miles to get my legs back which was good because they were really tight and hurting.  It seemed like it took forever to get to the first turn around and just before I got there I started thinking about how slow I was going and about how I would not have a PR and that lead to “I hate triathlon, I hate me – I suck, I have no business being out here, no PR for me today, Who do I think I am, I hate myself” and the tears started to well up in  my eyes.  “Oh no you don’t!  You do NOT get to cry and feel sorry for yourself.  You are doing a 70.3 mile race and you will finish and YOU WILL  NOT CRY!” and as I started to supress the tears something very bizarre happened.  I could feel my airways all slowly constricting like a deflating balloon and it freaked me out.  I’ve never had an asthma attack but I figured that’s what it was and was gasping for air  so I started walking and  forcing myself to relax and open up my airways.  Fortunately I was successul and I was at the turn around and that meant my 3 miles were up and it was time to run.

I ran – I picked up speed and I was doing great but now I was in pain and I was freaked out about the asthma thing.  I think I was wheezing for a little bit but then I seemed okay and I was just trying to run a 10 minute mile.  My plan had been to hold a steady 10 minute pace.  This was not to be, though.  I finally resorted to walking for 1 minute every once in a while.  I walked every other aid station.  I walked the sand.  I ran slower than a 10 minute pace and just kept going.  At that point my goal was to finish in a reasonable time.  I also realized I had no idea what my Vineman time was but I thought it was about 2:20.  Turns out it was 2:24 so had I known that and had I known that my T2 was 2 minutes faster I might have worked a little harder but no – I allowed the ugly inner voice that says “you suck” to have it’s way.  I hope it enjoyed that experience because THAT WAS THE LAST TIME, BUSTER!  In the future I WILL NOT BE BALKED!!

Finally I was off the sand for the last time and on my way in.  I ran because the crowds were thick and walking just didn’t look good.  I ran across the first set of mats that give the announcer the heads up that you are coming in.  I ran down the chute and they called my name and I gave a little hands in the air what what and I finished!  I had no idea what my time was.  As it turns out it was 2:29 – just 5 minutes off Vineman and net 3 minutes down from Vineman. 

The Finish

I had a crowd of team mates cheering me in and giving me hugs.  To Dana, Julie, Kate and Maggs I say thanks!  It’s so nice to have a welcoming committee just on the other side of the line.  I got my medal and shirt and hat and got my chip off and then went back to wait for Melinda to come in.  Later when I went to check the results they were up to 7:07 and I couldn’t find my name so I was sure my time was at least a 7:10 and I was really and truly bummed.  It wasn’t until later I found out that I came in at 6:59 - just 4 minutes behind my Vineman time. 

Lesson learned – no more stinkin’ thinkin’.  Had I known how close I was I would have worked a little harder and suffered a little more to at least meet my Vineman time and I would have been happy.  At this point I am happy.  I raced well and I raced hard and I’m a real rock star for doing it.

I’m re-energized about Vineman, too.  For a while there I was sorry I had signed up and just wanted to quit pretending to be a triathlete.  Yes – that’s how I was feeling. Now I’m ready to train hard and just kill it up there so look out you 55-59 year old ladies.  The new me is coming to get you.

Postscript -

I need to focus on always, always, always working as hard as I can no matter how I think I’m doing, no matter how bummed, no matter the pain.  This is racing and racing hurts but when you get done and you know you have given it everything it feels great and the pain is all worth it.  I think I’ve come this way before but I just didn’t grok it and I had no confidence.  I’m finally, finally coming to a place where I believe in myself as an athlete  and if I’m going to race I’m going to make it good.  This is particularly important given how expensive these races have gotten.  I can do a personal tri any time I want but entering a race means it’s business time.

The aid stations and the crowds were great at Oceanside.  They put your name on your bib and so many people called out “Keep it up, Pamela”  “Looking strong Pamela” Only 2 people called me Pam.  The kids at the aid station were very enthusiastic which, it turns out, is because they had a contest to see who could get the most votes.  They worked hard and it was great.  The military was great, too.  This race goes through Camp Pendleton and  makes a mess of traffic so a huge thank you to the people of Oceanside who had to endure long waits to cross the road and to  law enforcement and the military for directing traffic.

Forward Motion Race Club had a great day at the races.  We had 2 Kona qualifiers and 4 people on the podium.  Congratulations to Dean, Kim, Steve and Kate, all members of our Elite Team. Well done!  Everyone had a good day and a great time.

Oops – I sprayed myself with sunscreen but forgot that the new kit had a different cut and I missed spraying my back.  That was my last lesson learned:

How would this look in a backless evening gown?

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3 Bears via Pig Farm + Inspiration Pt.

When I told my inadvertant coach Monica about it I got this response:

WHY did you ride 4 hours today?  WHY did you ride 57 miles!!!!  There is absolutely no need to ride anything over 2 hours!!!  You will not gain in fitness now.  Only maintain what you have and keep yourself moving.  Enough said.  The 5k tomorrow would have been perfect for you, but not now.  Everything needs to be short, some easy, some with short efforts.
Yes, you are in trouble, in case you have not guessed.  Be smart now.  Your race is next weekend, and I would hate to see all of your training wasted.

Enough said.

I am done lecturing you.

 oops – I was in trouble.  I can’t say as I’m sorry to have missed out on a 5K for a PR because contrary to what Monica thinks that would have killed my legs but still – I felt chastened.  I took the opportunity to go for a nice, easy 20 mile ride with her in which I was NOT to use the big chain ring AT ALL.  Being the naughty girl that I am I cheated once, going downhill, because I didn’t want to get dropped and I was soundly admonished to get dropped and spin easy so I did.  It was a lovely ride.

I’m actually glad I did what I did Saturday because I feel like I can recover from that and it gave me the confidence that I can manage a big hill after managing a lot of miles and some other big hills.  My pace was not good but my legs were not fresh and I wasn’t racing so I’m not going to worry about that.

I have little, easy workouts with a few 20 second pick-ups scheduled for the rest of the week and then it’s show time.  I am done worrying, done being nervous and just really anxious to do it. I don’t know if I will ‘rock the course’ but I will race and I will finish and unless I have a problem I will finish in the top 10 so   BRING IT!

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Snot rags and candy bars.

I bought a lifetime supply sized box of PayDays at Costco “for the bike”.  Ha ha!  I hope there are some left when it stops raining but I doubt it.  Never again.  I will only buy them at the convenience store while out on the bike and not before!

I am under the influence of Theraflu right now but it doesn’t seem to be working all that well.  Might have to do a shot of nasal spray to sleep.  God I hate being sick.  Besides missing my workout yesterday I’m going to miss my workout tomorrow.  Monday is my normal day off.  Maybe I can hit the trainer tomorrow – who knows?

On a brighter note I did a 10K trail race on Saturday and took first in my age group!  It was a 10 year age group 50-59 with 5 women in it and I came in first by 8 minutes.  I just stayed on the heels of these 2 girls whose combined age I figured  may have equaled my own.  Turns out their combined age is only 52.  WINNER!   So that was fun.  It was a really great run, too with lots of hills and mud and rocks and roots – the real deal!  My time was 1:17 so that’s not too bad for a muddy, hilly 10K.  At least I have that to be happy about because this cold really sucks!

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I rode a really hard ride on Saturday along with a bunch of people from Forward Motion Race Club and with a match.com guy I had had one other date with.  He’s nice but so not the guy.  His group ride behavior left something to be desired, too and then he was late for Slum Dog Millionaire to which I had bought the tickets since he was late and about which he said nothing so buh-bye to him.

Anywho.. this is about my race, not my date.  The day dawned wet and dreary and pretty much stayed that way.  My better half in relay running showed up at my house and we drove together to Oakland for the start.  Look how excited we are – we’re glowing!

Cutest Couple at the race!

We picked up the bibs and my partner asked if she could go first so she could get it over with.  That was fine with me.  When she got back to the start we did a nice running hand off (you just have to touch) and it was game on!  I turned my iPod on to The Pretender by the Foo Fighters and took off at a 7:55 pace.  Brilliant.  It was pouring rain, I had no pocket for the iPod and I started out way too fast.  The iPod died, I died, and then  our 12 year old teammate streaked past me calling out “good job!” and I settled in to about an 8:25 pace which was much better.

I managed an 8:22 for the first mile and a 8:17 for the second but I kept getting passed and then the rain picked up and it was pouring.  I guess  I backed off a whole lot because mile 3 was a 9:25 and then I picked it back up a bit and the last little bit was an 8.50 so my overall time was a 26:55 or 13 seconds under my PR.

After the race we all hung out and ate coffee cake and bagels with cream cheese and fruit and drank coffee and shivered together because it was wet and cold.  But it was fun – very fun.  Thanks to all my team mates for coming out to play in the rain!

We Know for Fun - Right?!!

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  In 2005 Nike launched an ad campaign that was intended to be body positive and pro-running (well duh- it’s Nike!)  One of their posters showed a nice, healthy pair of thighs and declared in large print – I Have Thunder Thighs and in smaller print “And that’s a compliment because they are strong and toned and muscular.  And though they are unwelcome in the petite section they are cheered on in  marathons.”

I thought it was a great campaign and applauded their efforts all the while having to ignore 99.9% of the skinny models in their other ads.  

Today I declare myself to have thunder thighs for my own reason.  Reasons having to do with  my bike. 

When I first started riding with TGD (the good doctor) last May he could always kick my ass – always.  At first I could keep up with him pretty  well but as the months went by he got stronger and I really didn’t and so keeping up with him became a struggle.  When we climbed Mt. Diablo he would get way ahead of me and, like everyone else, have to wait until I caught up.

Today we rode our bike to the junction on Mt. Diablo which involves about a 2,000 foot climb.  It isn’t super hard but you do have to work to make it up the hill.  TGD was on-call and had to stop to answer the phone repeatedly but I wouldn’t know he had stopped until I looked back and down the hill (it goes switch back) and not see him.   I would stop and wait and then, when he didn’t show up for a while  I would go back DOWN  the mountain to fetch him and then go back up again.  Last year this would have been flat out unthinkable.  No way would I have headed down for fear of never making it back up to where I was.  Every inch of climb was an air robbing, gasp laden struggle.

But wait!  There’s more!  My bike has a triple on it and I generally have to resort to the small chain ring by the time I’ve climbed about 800 – 900feet.  Not today.  Today I made it up to the junction in the middle chain ring – and it wasn’t even that hard.

WINNER!

So today I declare myself to be a woman with Thunder Thighs.  Nice, thunderously strong, thighs – and for probably the first time in my entire life I appreciate them.

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Friday night I had date #2 with a man I like very much.  We hung out and drank a glass of wine at my house then we went and saw Frost/Nixon which was very good and then we went out to dinner and then we came back to my house and had a cup of tea.  Lovely.  I really enjoy his company.

Saturday I had a  fantastic bike ride with Forward Motion and in some ways I killed it.  I was still slower than most of the people (but not all) but I was faster than usual and it was one of those rides that left me feeling stronger and improved as a cyclist and that put a huge grin on my face.

Sunday I went on the most amazing, beautiful run on Angel Island with a friend.  The air was clear and crisp and cool but it was sunny and bright.  The trails there are mostly single track and there was a race but I was not a participant (since it got sold out).  We ended up inadvertently playing salmon and going against the crowd which mostly meant getting out of the way but that was okay because that was the uphill part.  Who doesn’t like to step off the trail and stand still frequently on the uphill climbs?  I was good with that.  Some other people from Forward Motion were running the race so we got to see them and hang out for a while.  Good times.

   When we got to the top of Angel Island  we were greeted with a panoramic, 3 bridge view of the entire Bay Area.  With no no bib and no concern at all about our  time we were free to just hang out there enjoying  the view for quite some time .

After the run my friend and I went to visit the new might-become-my-beau for a moment (does that count as a 3rd date?) and then we went out for a delicious  buritto followed by a drive back home with the top down on her convertible Mercedes.   The whole weekend was positively frabjous.

not her car but it might as well be

How  much can I complain when I have days like that?  Not too much.  Being unemployed is not a happy thing and the economy really and truly is in the toilet and will take quite some time to recover and that’s not a good thing but right about now I’m feeling like that’s the only not good thing in my life.  I have plenty enough resources to keep on keepin’ on for quite a while so color me  happy.

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