………

Another volunteer at the finish line asked if I might like to go to the warming tent which sounded great because it was cold and I was shivering. I stood up and was immediately and spontaneously assisted by Erin and and Marcus who held on to me while I staggered over to the warming tent.  I sat down, looked around and realized that this is where the food was and this  is where the water and the Gatorade were and that I was supposed to be hungry and thirsty and want to consume something.  I was just tired, though. Very tired and rather nauseated.  I was totally loopy, too.     

Someone turned on the fans and as the hot air blew through there I turned to Erin and said, “I think they’re trying to cook us” so we decided to go.  They had already put my stuff in the car but I needed my head lamp and gloves which I had ditched just before the finish line so the picture would come out better and I sent poor Erin off to fetch them.  Meanwhile Marcus and I started to head over to the water taxi stopping only to look at the results.  It showed that one other woman in my age group had finished but it hadn’t been updated for a while so I didn’t pay too much attention.  I was in no shape to pay attention, anyhow.

Erin came back and we all headed to the water taxi which was right there, ready to receive us and then take off.  Perfect timing!  I was barely able to stand.   Most of the people on the taxi were spectators and someone asked me how my race  was and I replied “That was hard!” which gave everyone a good chuckle and someone said, “you think?”  My sense of humor was admittedly a little thin at that point.

Head on a pile books and still wearing my glow stick bracelet

When we got to where the car was I didn’t even want to wait for them to go get it and fetch me at the curb – I just wanted to keep moving until I got there so we did.  As soon as I got in the back seat I lay down, put my head on a pile of books and decided I just didn’t care about the seat belt. This is remarkable as I am a seat belt fanatic but I was pretty sure Marcus could get us the 2 miles or so back to the house without crashing and I just didn’t care.

When we got home Marcus assisted me up the stairs because I was incapable of walking without assistance and I headed straight for my bed where I flopped down and shut my eyes.  Unbeknown to me, my daughter was a little upset seeing me like that.  Then my friend Sharley called and I was telling her about the race and telling her I felt sick and she said, “yeah – you’re slurring your words a little” and I said “uh oh – gotta go – I have to puke!”  And I did.

Once I got back on the bed the bargaining started.

Erin told me  “Mama – you need to take a shower”

“No – I can’t”

“Okay – you can sleep for 5 minutes if you will take 2 sips of water”  So I took 2 sips of water.

Five minutes later, “Mama – you need to get up and take a shower”

Somewhere in there Sharley called back after calling every triathlete she could think of to figure out what was wrong with me and what we should do. Only problem was it was Saturday night at 8 PST and almost no one was around – go figure.  Carrie was home and she thought maybe I was severely dehydrated and needed an IV so I told Erin I might have to go to the hospital. That made her feel so much better *cough*

Anyhow, I still couldn’t get up and take a shower so Erin told me that if I took at least 5 sips of water I could sleep for an hour and then she would wake me up and was that okay?  And I said yes and drank the water and fell asleep.

At midnight Erin woke me up and I was  finally felt well enough to stand so I got the gross clothes off and got clean and then I went back to bed.  I probably had to drink some more water – I don’t remember.

In the middle of the night I got up and peed about a gallon. Then I went back to bed.  Then it happened again.  When I got up in the morning I realized that my kidneys had totally shut down during the run and that’s why I was so sick.  Oops!  (update - thanks to Anne’s comment below I just checked the ‘tylenol’ bottle and discovered it was not Tylenol that I took on the run – it was ibuprofen.  Dang!  Never again!!!!  and thanks Anne!)

I was fine in the morning, though and finally able to start appreciating my accomplishment,  something that alluded me in my bloated, unbalanced, nauseated finish line state.  As days rolled by and the congratulations rolled in I felt better and better about it until finally I groked  the enormity of what I had done.   I think if I did it again I could do it better.

to be continued in the ‘lessons learned’ post…..

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I was not alone in this endeavor.  Many of the New Mexico Outlaws of Albuquerque were there including the famous and amazing Dread Pirate Rackham and SW Tri Gal. They stayed at a fabulous house on the beach.  I stayed in town and was  joined Friday by my beautiful daughter Erin and her wonderful husband Marcus and also by their friends Anne (who was racing) and Wren (who was there to support Anne).    The 5 of us stayed in an adorable little place that was way too close to the far turn around on the run course.

Race day dawned far too early as race day always does.   I always have a moment where I wonder what is wrong with me that I would so fully embrace a pastime that has me up at that hour, needing to eat food.  I get over that feeling as soon as I get to the start and find myself drenched in anticipation and adrenaline and loud music.  I forget all about the insanity of 4 AM awakenings and strapping on the food bag when I couldn’t care less about eating and the cycle of race goes on.

It was really cold – so cold that as I walked from the street where we had pulled on our wetsuits and dropped our bags, to the beach where the race started, the sidewalk  under my bare feet felt like the spongy stuff running  tracks are made of.  I was quite certain that the sidewalk was good old hard concrete so I knew my feet were frozen and the blood flow had pretty much shut down.

Once on the beach I decided to test the water which, at 69 degrees felt like a spa. Much better.  I did the usual thing (and you KNOW we just about all do it!) and took a little swim and then got out and lined up behind the starting arch. Sadly, we followed the rules and our support people were not with us but they could have been.  Others were there.  I kept looking around for them to see if they had chosen to sneak down there because I wanted  to give my daughter one last hug and wanted to hear one last ‘good luck’ from her but alas, Anne and I had to take care of each other which was okay.  And then it was time for the national anthem (they had kind of a nice rendition) and then BOOM!  It was time to head for the sea and discover what traversing 140.6 miles felt like.

The Swim –

This race is known for having a ‘downhill’ swim where you are aided by the current.  In the athlete meeting the guy had said ‘if you can’t make the 2:20 cut off you have no business being out there because you could lie on your back and make it’ and he wasn’t kidding.  I was moving so fast that when I put my face in the water and looked down I thought I could see the sand on the bottom.  I knew that couldn’t be right because this is a deep water channel that provides open sea access to fairly large boats so I thought I was hallucinating  and that was an uncomfortable thought.   But I felt fine and I was swimming well and I was keeping the buoys in my sight (yay!) so I didn’t worry about it.  I later figured out that it was the particulate matter in the water zooming past my glasses that looked like sand.  The water was nice and for sea water reasonably clear. you could see your hand in front of you and see feet when drafting which I also did.

Here is the path I was supposed to take:

and here is the path I took (thank you NTPers for the Garmin 310XT – it rules!!)

It looks a little like I cut a corner but I was right by a buoy the whole time so no shame.  The buoy situation was confusing because they seemed to have them on both sides of the channel and it’s possible that I went by one that was meant for the half and not the full – I don’t know but the big news here is that I did not swim off course!  I bought brand new goggles and they performed flawlessly and so did I.

The swim ends at a yacht club where they have ladders going down into the water from the dock.  As I headed for a ladder I realized the current was aggressively pushing me to a different ladder to the left so I aimed for that and pretty soon I had to fight to get to it.  I climbed up onto the dock, looked at my watch and was beyond thrilled to see 1:00:something.  1 hour!!!  I had thought I might see 1:15 instead of 1:30 but an hour flat far exceeded my expectations and I was one very happy woman!

I got stripped and then rinsed a bit under the showers and headed off for transition which was almost 500 yards away, and down the street:

I was moving fast so I’m not all in frame but you get the idea.  Happy!  Oh how I wanted the whole day to feel like that and I went into this race thinking it would.  I’m so funny.

T1 – Foolish Change of Plans

I had originally intended to swim with my arm warmers under my wetsuit and just pull on a jacket, my helmet, socks, shoes and sunglasses and go!  It was quite a bit colder than I had anticipated, though so  I decided to switch to “‘put on dry arm warmers, etc. and go!” but then, in the 11th hour (i.e. in the changing tent) I decided to also change my shorts.  This was a mistake because it took time.  T1 ended up taking  8  minutes and I could have stuck with Plan A and been out of there in 4.

The Bike –

The  start of the bike took us off the island, through a bunch of stuff and out onto the entrance ramp to the interstate.  That took about 20 miles and as I whizzed down the ramp (one of the very few places on this ride I rest my legs) who should be out there cheering but our people – Erin and Marcus and Wren!!  That was such a huge boost and a thrill because it was totally unexpected.  I was still  on a happy high from the swim and seeing them ratcheted me up a few more notches.

Off I went, cruising down the highway and getting passed a lot.  I wasn’t too bothered by that because my swim time had been so good.  In fact, nothing was bothering me – I was on my way and it felt good.  I stopped at the rest stop at mile 30 to use the port-a-potty and low and behold my shorts were now wet, having absorbed water out of my top.  That’s why changing t hem was just a big waste of time.  Whatev.  I got back on the bike and kept going.

Shortly after that a woman rode slowly passed me and started a conversation. “Where y’all from?” and we established that I was from California and she was from Durham, NC  and we chatted for a bit and then off she rode. I thought little of it.

There was another aid station at mile 48 and I stopped again for a second and when I started up who should I see but Ms. Durham.  I got a better look at her and  realized I needed to figure out her age.  It wasn’t easy because her leg marking was really faded but I soon discovered that she had the number “55″ on her calf – crap.  This was one of the 3 women I was competing against and off she rode.  Damn!  She seemed really steady and strong and I knew I had to stick with my plan (to hold 17-19 mph)  so I just hoped I would see her suffering on the run (what an evil thought but that’s racing for you).

Special needs was at mile 64 and I stopped, put water in a bottle that had powdered nutrition, ate a banana, used the port-a-potty, took the sleeves off my jacket, took my over gloves off  and off I went and who should come cruising past me but Ms. Durham.  Hmmmm… she was working way harder than me but not really making much headway.  I stuck with that thought and stuck with my plan.

Not too long after that the wind picked up.  It was a cross wind so that wasn’t so bad and it wasn’t so strong – maybe 10-12 mph.  I was getting a little tired but I was still in good spirits.  My favorite part of the ride was somewhere along here.  Painted in the road it said, “caution – big chicken crossing” and I thought, “what the hell – do they have herds of chickens in NC?” and then there it was – a giant sculpture of a chicken.  Too funny.

At about mile 70 Durham lady picked it up a bit and I started to lose it.  I was getting really tired and I had forgotten to put on more Aquaphore at special needs and my  lady bidness was starting to suffer.  As we rounded the bend at about mile 75 we started going straight into the wind and it had picked up a bit by now.

I hate wind.  I am never very successful at fighting it and so it demoralizes me.  My speed had dropped by 2 or 3 mph and I was frustrated and tired.  I also didn’t seem to be able to keep up with my nutrition.  I was drinking from the bottles every 15 minutes but I wasn’t getting through them which meant I wasn’t getting enough calories. I had only managed to eat 1 little piece of PayDay so things started going south for me.

At mile 77 my dear friend DPR showed up.  She passed me and we chatted for a bit and then I encouraged her to take back her pace and get on with her race so off she went.  I was just dying and praying for the rest stop which didn’t come until mile 84.   So that was 20 miles of suffering with my saddle killing me and my hatred of the wind and frustration mounting.  And with that I went to the dark side and felt overwhelmingly cranky which is not a good place to be.

I hated triathlon in that moment. I made  a firm decision to drop out of Oceanside because there was NO WAY I would ever sign up for IM Canada and what’s the point of racing in March if it isn’t to sign up for something.  I decided that I would just train with my friends because that’s fun but I WOULD NOT even CONSIDER EVER, EVER, EVER doing another 140.6 – NEVER!!  Hate this sport; hate my bike; SCREW  YOU WIND!!! I HATE YOU!!!  I HATE ME!!! I HATE EVERYBODY!!!!!

I was in no doubt of my ability to finish, though so I focused on how I was chipping away at the miles.  The internal dialog was “you’ll soon be at mile 80 and then you’ll only have 32 miles to go. You’re at mile 82 so just 30 to go and when you get to 92 it will only by 20″.  I stopped at the last rest stop at mile 101 and ate a banana and got more water and then the U-Haul truck pulled up.  There is nothing much worse than the U-Haul truck showing up because it means they are starting to shut down the course.  That made no sense from a time perspective but it still freaked me out.

Back on the bike. “You’re at 102 – just 10 miles to go!!…… 105, just 7 miles to go!…..110 just 2 miles to go!  You’ve got it!!!” and I was happy to be almost done but not happy.  I pulled into T2 and saw my crew and when Erin asked me how I was doing all I could say was “Suffer-fest, baby. 50 miles of wind – ugh”.  Handing off my bike felt really good, though.

T2 –

Into the changing tent and again I was deliberating what to do but I stuck with my original plan to just change my shorts, change my shoes,  put on my  hat, take off my jacket, swap sun glasses  and go.  That took about 6 minutes which was not great but not horrible.

The Run -

My plan was to run at a 10:45 – 11:00 minute pace, run to the END of the aid station and get what I needed, get it down and keep running.  Oh I crack myself up.  First of all I have the Garmin set to the wrong ‘smoothing’ so my pace doesn’t really record properly in real time.  Second of all I had just ridden 112 miles, 50 of them in misery.  I soon abandoned the plan and just motored on as best I could.  I did find myself at a 10 minute pace and had to slow down but that was short lived.

I saw Anne  heading back in  not too, too far after I started.  We had a hug and a moment and off we went.     I had no idea what Ms. Durham was wearing and I didn’t care.  I had started on the run roughly 9 hours  and15 minutes into the race which meant I had almost 8 hours to finish and I new I could do that.  I never had a doubt.

This run was 6.55 miles out, turn around and head back, repeat.  I had already decided that the first 6.55 miles would be just that and the 2nd 6.55 miles would be what got me half way through and the 3rd 6.55 miles would be what got me to the last 6.55 miles and I was okay with that.  It was a good way to break it down.

I really felt like I needed to pee so I stopped at the 2nd set of port-a-potties and nothing happened.  Hmmm…. Off I went and stopped again in another 2 or 3 miles.  Same story.   Weird.  I knew that was a sign of hypothermia but it wasn’t cold so I figured that wasn’t it.  It was getting dark and cold and I really wanted to get back to special needs at the turn around so I could get my jacket and head lamp and sushi hat so I just focused on that goal but I found myself walking way more than I wanted to.  I had time, though.  I also had a stitch in my side from the automatic urge to ‘hold it’ even though nothing seemed to be happening. I tried to take deep breaths, let go of the muscle tension and just keep going.

I saw DPR out there somewhere near the 1st turn around – I can’t remember if it was before or after but I had this crazy idea she was only about 2 miles ahead of me.  It was more like 5 but I wasn’t thinking all that clearly in that moment.  It was just nice to see her and she looked fabulous.  I was also very happy to be heading back to the T1 area.

At the turn around I got to see Erin and Marcus again and expressed my predictable sadness at having to head back out but also noted that 1 more loop and I’d be done – yay!!  I told her I had given up on my goal and was in survival mode but that I would definitely finish.   I got my clean jacket, my sushi hat and my head lamp on and then  Erin ran with me for a while until she  sent me off so she could go back and wait for Anne.   I had seen her again and I knew she was probably only about 20 minutes from being done.

I had given up on the whole pee thing by now and I was really struggling to take in calories.  I didn’t feel sloshy but I was starting to feel sick.  I tried to consume some Gu from my gel flask but that wasn’t working at all.  The chicken broth came out so I tried that and it was great.  At the next aid station I had some Coke and made a decision to just alternate – chicken broth, coke, chicken broth, coke.  Notice something missing?  Water.  I quit drinking water which was undoubtedly a mistake.  I did eat orange slices from time to time and I managed to get down a few grapes.  I couldn’t handle anything like bananas or bagels, though.

I did take in some water with some Tylenol and that helped the pain and I was really motivated to finish so I picked up the pace and I ran more.  I even managed to run without stopping between aid stations a couple of times and that felt really good.  “Really good” was all relative at this point.

I saw DPR about 2 miles or so before the turn around so I knew she had 5 miles or so on me and she was still running and looking great.  I was managing but not thriving.

This is the part of an Ironman where what you see on the course is sheer carnage.  People who are sick, people who blew up on the bike, people who are limping.  It’s kind of a parade of  misery but it was almost over so on I went.  As I approached the turn around for the 2nd time it seemed like it had moved.  I even asked some guy where they were hiding it and why did they move it like that and that was good for a laugh.

The turn around was very, very close to the house we were staying in and I was so glad I didn’t have a key or a phone on me because if I had I would have been sorely tempted to head for home and call in the troops.  As it was I ran around that cone with my arms spread like an airplane and every time someone at an aid station said, “you’ve got it!  You’ve got this one” I replied ” you bet I do – I WILL finish!  This race is mine!”  I thought it was kind of crazy that they were saying that because I couldn’t imagine not finishing at that point  and it was with that thought that I headed in.

The last thing you have to do in this race is run up over a very long bridge that, like the turn around, had gotten quite a bit longer.  Very few people run up this thing so it was a walk to the top and then wheeeeee….. run down the other side, run down the road, get directed to the finish and DONE!!!

The aftermath

I look pretty good in that picture!  That didn’t last long, though.  I finally understand how someone can run across the finish line pumping his or her fists in the air only to collapse to the ground or start barfing on the spot.  I lasted a little longer than that but not much.

To be continued……..

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Last night  in my effort to find something on TV to keep me company while I caught up on Facebook I stumbled on a show on FitTV about Diana Nyad.  Diana was a world class ultra-swimmer.   She attempted at one time to swim from Cuba to Florida and was in the water for 42 hours, covering 90 miles before she had to give up.   She couldn’t repeat that trip because of Visa issues but she did manage to swim from Bimini to Florida successfully.  Makes 2.4 miles seem kind of easy but that wasn’t the best part of seeing that show.

At one time in her life she really wanted to represent the USA at the Olympics. Specifically she wanted to swim in the 1968 Olympics in Mexico when she was 18.  Sadly she had some setbacks including a sexual assault by an adult she knew that strained her emotionally and spiritually  and a cardiac infection that kept her out of the water for 8 months and sapped her fitness.  Those events conspired to keep  her from that goal and she approached her final swim meet in high school with a ‘why bother’ attitude – her dreams a pile of dust.  A friend of hers noticed how laden she looked and said, “look at the nail on your pinkie.  What does that represent as a fraction of the effort you use to swim a race?  Why not go into that race and push off as hard as you can and use every bit of your heart and gut and those muscles you’ve worked so hard to develop and swim as hard and fast as you can and when you get done don’t look to see if you are 1st or 8th, just close your eyes and close your fists and think about how you swam that race so hard you didn’t have a pinkie nail’s worth of effort left in you.”  And that’s what she did.   She came in 6th but it didn’t matter because she was all in on that race and she knew it.

Since then she has filled her life telling stories as a sports caster and she has done many things to inspire others.  She works with women over 40 trying to reclaim their lives and with veterans dealing with any number of  casualties and issues.  She’s done lots of things to inspire and enrich the lives of others.

At the end of the show she talked about how there is so much to do and so many people to help and so much to  experience that no one can do it all – you just can’t. But when her time comes she knows that she will close her eyes  and know that she lived her life  so that she couldn’t have done one pinkie nail more than she did.

And that, as it turns out, is my ‘reason’.    I also do a lot of  “things” – I’m a CASA volunteer (and just signed on to be a team leader and help other CASAs) and I’m on the BOD of my race club and I started the new triathlete program last year and will continue it next year and I “do” stuff; it’s who I am.  This  race and presumably my impending accomplishment in finishing it  is one of many things I am doing not to win, not to be the best, not make someone else  happy, not for glory or fame, but as another component of   living my life with every bit of spirit and effort and joy I can.

Thanks

Getting to a race like this is never a solo effort.

Thanks go to my Coach Tammy Metzer of Tempo Multisport who has taken me from a ‘no way I can do this’  nervous breakdown to feeling 100% confident in my ability to finish. I feel strong and I feel great and she got me here so thank you Coach Tammy!!

My kids have been a huge source of encouragement and inspiration.    That’s one of a bazillion reasons I love them so much and want to make them ever more proud of their Mama.

My friend Sharley took me under her wing and trained with me quite a bit over the last couple of months and it’s been great.  Kelby, too.  Both of them have been great at beating me into shape encouraging me to go a little harder and a little faster than I wanted to.  Dana and Maggs and Kat and Harold and Julie and Christy and Patrick  all get thanks for hours logged training together.  Kudos to Vali for endless cheering and excitement for me (but we really didn’t get much of a chance to train together – baby that knee!)  Chris and Monica are my forever coaches and Joe is my forever font of wisdom and calm.  Thank you to Dana and to Sharely for putting together send off/good luck gatherings for me and thanks to everyone who came – it meant the world. And it means the world to me to know that so very many people are watching me and rooting for me and sending their good vibes.

And on that note – LET’S RUMBLE!!!

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I was on the swim and I was swimming between my friends Sharley and Dana, neither of whom are doing this race and both of whom swim much, much faster than me so I was happy! I think we might have even been chatting a bit, the way you can do in a dream.   I had some sense that we were well behind the pack but the water felt good and I kept thinking ‘this isn’t bad- this water feels pretty nice and I’m not cold at all’.  When we got to shore I realized I was wearing my fleece boots the entire time.     No wonder everyone else was done.

The swim ended in  a concrete warehouse and the 1 or 2 remaining  volunteers were  ignoring me. No help for Miss Fuzzy Boots.   I looked up and asked someone ‘aren’t you going to help me get my wetsuit off?  And they said everyone was done and I’d have to do my best.  I was still sort of marveling over those boots – I couldn’t believe I had swum 2.4 miles in them but oh well – at least I was warm!

Then I was wondering ‘where’s my bike’ and someone brought me a comfort bike – you know the ones with the straight handlebars.   I thought ‘wait a minute – where is my stuff?  Where is my transition area?’ and I realized I didn’t have one.  I had no bike,  no bike stuff and no run stuff and nothing was mine but all the while I was thinking “Fine – I’ll ride this bike – I’ll ride any bike – I WILL DO THIS RACE!”   Then I thought ‘wait a minute – there’s no way I would show up for a race and not set up in transition.  And then I knew I was dreaming and it really couldn’t be happening and I  made myself wake up.

Instead of having heart palpitations and thinking “OMG – I’m so nervous’ I was relieved because I’m right on track  – right up to the bad dream.  There are just 7 days left on the countdown calendar and then it’s show time.    I wonder how many more dreams I can squeeze in before then?

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Anyhow – last weekend I did 2 things (in addition to sitting in front of the TV playing on my laptop).  On Saturday I went for a long ride with my new cycling BFFs Sharley and Kelby.    And to my already existing cycling BFFs no worries – I have room for a legion of BFFs in my life, particularly those who attempt to rescue me from Friday nights at home alone as Vali  tried to do last Friday when I turned her  down on going out for  Margaritas.  But I digres….

Our ride took us out to the wilds where the windmills whop, whop, whop their way to lighting our lives only it wasn’t windy and the windmills were still – all of them!  We didn’t pre-plan the route and  extemporaneously decided to ride the infamous Patterson Pass Rd.  I had never done it before but I had heard it was a pretty good climb.  If  I had  had any idea exactly what that meant I would have changed the plan but innocence really is bliss some times.

The climb starts with a ‘false flat’ that is so very false you swear you are going downhill based on what your eyes perceive and yet you are in the granny gear working your ass off and not moving very fast.  It   was bizarre to the point of being mind altering.  The physical experience did not match the visual  – it was sort of like one of those pre-race dreams where you are trying really hard but something surreal keeps getting in your way.

After that it just starts climbing up and up and up and then you get to the the top – only you aren’t.  But there is a flat spot where we stopped for a minute and when I looked up and saw that we had an even steeper climb ahead of us  all I could think of was ‘holy crap balls – that is Dr. Suess land!’ (click here to get to a page of pictures of the real thing)

Dr. Suessian Hills

I stood there, looking up thinking “No can do – I just can’t get up there” and I begged to turn back and I was turned down because back was going to be as hard as forward and I said “I can’t do this” and Sharley thought but didn’t say “and what do you think you’ll do?” and I thought but didn’t say “I’ll be walking my bike up that hill”.

But I did not walk.  I rode.  I pedaled and pedaled and pedaled and I told myself ‘just turn the cranks 10 more times… oh wait – 10 more… okay fine, 10 more” and then I was at the top.  I redlined my heart rate on the way (178)  and I got that creepy, hair standing on end feeling on the top of my head but I did it and life got very, very good at that point.  Mostly because we got to go downhill  but also because of the way I felt.    It was a perfect day.

Dr. Suessville Elevation Chart

Sunday I ran the Nike Women’s Half Marathon.  I ran it like I will run the marathon at Beach 2 Battleship which is to say at a very slow pace.  I practiced that pace 10:30 – 11:00/mile and I came in at 2:29 something which is 11:22/mile but it’s hilly and I forgot to account for that.  It wasn’t  a PR by time (although not a PW, either)  but a year ago if someone had told me I would do a hard, “I can’t do it”, redline ride for 3 and half hours the day before I ran 13.1 really hilly  miles I would have told them ‘no way – no can do’.  I would have  whined and refused to even consider the possibility whereas this year I looked forward to the opportunity to test my legs and  I was comfortable with the test results.

And that is why I am over the top  giddy with excitement for my race.  I can do this.  I can push through and I can pace myself and I will finish and it will be another perfect day.

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Saturday was long run day – I had to run 2 hours.  It was also a day when many members of my club race at the Back to School 5K or 10K and those not racing go out and volunteer.  Many of my New Triathlete Program people (NTP aka newbies) said they would volunteer and I really wanted to be there to see them the day before our big triathlon and just to be a part of it all.  I also really needed to go see my foster kid for whom I am an advocate through the Court Appointed Special Advocates program (check out the national site to see more).  This child lives hours from me so I had to allocate 2 hours to run and 5 hours of travel time plus the visit plus I had to be up at OMG:thirty on Sunday so I needed to get home early.  I couldn’t work out getting the race in (I guess I could have raced 10K and then run another hour but there aren’t any showers there and racing wasn’t on the plan) so I didn’t go and it felt sort of wrong but very right.  There are things in life that really are more important than triathlon and race clubs and foster kids in need of an anchor is definitely one of them.

My 2 hour run was fine – it felt good and that was exciting because the run and I have not been such good friends lately.  Score!

Sunday was the day of the race I’ve been training the Newbies for.  Most of them had already done a shorter sprint and some had even done an Olympic distance race but this was our big club event and I was so excited.  I didn’t race but I did do the swim with a woman who was very nervous about getting run over by the swim waves behind us (our club gets to go in the first wave en masse and there was quite a mass of us!).  I was there to defend her water space and help her stay calm and I did and she exited the water all in one piece.  After that I ran up to the bike course to cheer people on and then I headed up to the water station to cheer some more and pass out water. Turns out I positioned myself incorrectly and missed some people that way but it was fun.  Then I went down to the finish line to cheer everyone in.

I really wanted o stay and be at the award ceremony and just hang out and talk to everyone about their race  and I wish I had because NTP had people on the podium! How great is that??!!  Alas – I had a long ride on the plan so off I went with my 2 new BFFs and a friend of theirs.  It was a tough, long ride and it was hot and windy but it was great.  There was a moment when I was sure I couldn’t do it and I really worried about how I was going to get out of there but some cold water and a PayDay later and I was fine and rode strong – no problem.

Elevation from gpsvisualizer (top) and from MapMyRide (bottom)

That's it - you ride almost 40 miles and this is what is there

We got back to the park where our cars were right about the time the Challenge Weekend Celebration BBQ was starting but we were sweaty and gross and really needed to get cleaned up.  I had neglected to bring clean clothes but my BFFs had several outfits each with them as well as soap and shampoo and cream rinse so we all used the outdoor, cold water shower and cleaned up in our tri suits and then put clean clothes on (in the privacy of the ladies changing room) and finally, finally headed to the party arriving a mere 90 minutes late to a 2 hour party.  Great.

But it was great because I got a chance to say some words about my fabulous Newbies who stepped up and trained and made their dreams come true.  I’ve hatched a litter of tri-junkies and I couldn’t be happier about it.  I’m so proud of them and so very happy to have played a role in giving them a chance to do something they might not otherwise have done.  I said my words and I handed out a little memento to each of them and then they took the floor.  One of them read a whole story about how there is no “I” in  TEAM and about how great the program had been and how she had made friends and accomplished something wonderful.  Another woman gave a speech about me that made me blush and made me proud and made me feel loved  and then they gave me something to remember this inaugural season with – a Garmin 310XT and a $50 gift certificate to Forward Motion Store, our primary benefactor.  Wow – just wowl  *Channeling Sally Field* -“You LIKE me… right now.  You  LIKE me!”  I’m so humbled and so happy and so very jazzed about my new toy!  But I’m more jazzed that several of the newbies want to ban together to train for an Oly.  Success!

Looking forward, one of the things possibly on my plate is getting a slot for IM Canada when I race Oceanside.  Because it is so early in the year the carrot they dangle to athletes is the potential to get a slot at any of a couple of NA Sports M-dot races and Canada  is one of them (but shhh… don’t tell everyone about this because it’s kind of a secret, okay?).  I have several friends who are going to race and a few more racing Oceanside so they can get slots.  It’s a possibility but one I don’t think I’ll take because this weekend I figured out something really important about me.

My “moment” came when I realized that triathlon is a fundamentally self indulgent endeavor but I am not a fundamentally self indulgent person.  I spend a lot of time volunteering and giving to others because I like it and it makes me feel good.    I feel good about having become an athlete, too but the trade offs cause me stress. This weekend was a great example of that where I was torn between being with my race club and being with my foster kid and being with my race club and getting in my training.  I had to just take a deep breath and let it go but it was difficult.  It all worked out in the end but in the process it made me feel a little crazy.

I’d like to do the NTP next year again and I’d like to help organize this year’s newbies to train for an Oly and I’d like to train with them.  This year my direct participation in their training fell off because I signed up for Beach 2 Battleship and if I raced Canada I’d have a worse problem because it is in August and the training would consume my whole summer.    So again – the opportunity for conflict and stress is huge and I’m a ‘want it all’ kind of gal.  I’m a problem solver, too so here’s the solution:    I’m going to race Oceanside which means training up  a 70.3 on  March 27.  I’ve also decided that  I’m going to attend IM St. George in some capacity.  If I love 140.6 after B2B I might do a fund raiser and buy a community slot for 2010 (I’d pay my $550 and raise the rest) and attend IM  St. George as a participant.   If  I don’t want to do that I can just go be a Sherpa and then sign up for 2011 on-site.  Either way my IM training and season will be over in early May at the latest  and I can get on with the business of playing, training  newbies, and racing shorter distance races.  Brilliant and perfect and what a great Monday it’s been.

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Where the bugs are huge

And the babies travel in herds

Where the vines cover everything

And the healthy living trails are brought to you by the American Tobacco Industry

Where they love ironworks

and they search relentlessly for ET.

And where I’m having a fabulous time with my daughter and son-in-law.  Tomorrow we go scope out Wilimgton, home of the Beach 2 Battleship 140.6 and 70.3 to which I will be returning come November.

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Again – HUGE congratulations to Pirate, Baboo, Jen, Andy and to Misty who gutted out that run just because she could and she wanted to get her money’s worth out of the race and burn off a little ramen.

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Congratulations to DPR, Baboo and Andy from Arizona Tri Club, and Jen from (Swimming, Biking and Running) Stories who went a stellar 6:12 in Barb’s Race, her first Half IM. Condolences to Geek Girl who had a blown out tubular that could not be fixed. To her credit she ran the 1/2 marathon, anyhow and did fine so congratulations on that.

I had 3 jobs at this race. I directed people to turn left at one of the many turns on the bike, I was DPR’s Own Personal Sherpa™ and I cheered for people as best I could. I had a great day and a great time. I hung out with DPR’s Moms and her adorable babies who I ♥ so much, I got in a little riding since I took my bike and spent some time on the run course and I gave back to the Vineman since the Vineman gave so much to me.

The Vineman tooketh away some on this incredibly hot August 2nd. I feel bad for saying the course was so easy and that Chalk Hill was just nothing because it turns out that in 98 degree heat with a headwind at the end of a 2nd loop of an Iron distance race it is something – something awful. A guy from my race club blew up on the bike and quit on the run. The chopped up roads were not such a big issue for me but they took Misty out of the race completely. And there was the heat.

To those who finished the Vineman gaveth a tremendous amount of pride. The mental game on the Full Vineman is not trivial. The run has 3 loops and all of them make you pass the finish line – ouch. I did say there were some hills and so there are but I only had to run them once – not 3 times. Totally different experience. So between the difficult bike and the hot, hard run this was a very tough race and my hat is off to everyone who made it and to those who didn’t but who gutted it out as long as they possibly could. Well done!

I have pictures – lots of pictures. I will post them soon.

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REMEMBER YOUR REASONS

REMEMBER YOUR ONE THING!

It’s all about you, baby! You and the things you care about.

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And that goes for anyone else doing IMAZ.

And a HEEEYOOOGE Shout out to Coach Tammy who is doing her first Ironman in South Africa.

May you enjoy a day where your training pays off and you cover the miles with strength and enjoy a tremendous sense of accomplishment as you cross the line.

Wish I could be there!

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A total of three hundred ICF spots will be offered for each 2008 North America Sports full Ironman races. Therefore, for the April 13th Ford Ironman Arizona will have another 139 available slots, Ford Ironman Coeur d’Alene an additional 135 slots, Ford Ironman USA Lake Placid an additional 37 slots and the new November 23rd Ford Ironman Arizona will offer 300 slots through the ICF.

These slots will be available commencing 9 AM ET, Monday December 17th through the respective race websites under the entry tab. For further information log onto http://www.nasports. com

One of the major goals of North America Sports is to contribute to the communities that host an Ironman event. To that end, the Ironman Community Fund was created in 2001; this fund allows Ironman to generate funds for community groups and non-profit organizations in each community that hosts an Ironman. The Ironman Community Fund contributes between $25,000 and $50,000 yearly to each race community to local non-profit groups with a focus of the grants being directed towards youth and sports. For a complete list of groups and organizations supported through the Ironman Community Fund, please go to http://www.nasports. com/commfund

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I decided after SOMA that there was no way I was going to do IM FL ’08 even though TriMama had tried to tempt me to join their team. Then I spoke with IronMomJenny this morning and she told me about how they were going to do it and for a second I thought “I should be there”. I let the moment pass.

So then I looked – and was really glad that I had let that opportunity go by because I’m not ready to train for an IM – I’m really not. Not even one where a team would stick by my side. I’ve stepped up to a 70.3 and that is quite enough, thank you.

Congratulations to Jenny, defending #1 Athena at IM FL.

** update

Aw shucks – I’m following Runner Susan and David as they run the NYC marathon and they are definitely sticking together. I hope they are having fun!

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Finally the lure of the actual finish line beckoned and we wanted to be there to see our friends come in so off we went. People, you have no idea how LOUD it is there. The music is blaring and Mike Riley’s voice just BOOMs over the sound system and the people are screaming and cheering. LOUD! But it is so great so very great.

Jenny and I spotted TriMama and the Tribe across the way in the ‘run in with a finisher’ waiting area
The new rule is that only 1 person can cross the line with the Ironman finisher but since all the kids and TriMama were in red capes we didn’t know who the lucky person was. Finally, Soapinator ran out and we had our answer. Sadly, my camera ran out out battery right then -grrrr…. I did get these 2 little shots, though.

I know – totally frustrating. But onward!

After Tac came in we went around the back and tried to find people but it was tough. Jenny had a VIP pass so she was able to get a pic at the finish with Boomer. At that point Ally had had enough so we headed back to the car.

I must say that Ally was an angel. i think I said that before but that child deserves kudos for patience and perseverance. On those rare occasions when she would let out a little whine Jenny would gently remind her that she knew it would be a long day and she would just head off for the Burley and curl up and rest. I considered smuggling her home with me but I figured Jenny might get mad and I ♥ Jenny so I refrained.

In the morning the group staying at our hotel all met up for breakfast

It was so great to see Tac and Greyhound in their morning after glow. Then I headed to the awards breakfast with Laurie and met up with Bold, Michelle, Brent Buckner, his sister Wendy and some other folks (it’s getting fuzzy now). (Pardon the lack of links but I’m getting all linked out.)

It was a nasty, rainy morning and everyone realized how fortunate they had been to have such perfect weather the day before. After the breakfast I still had many hours to kill but Laurie was heading home and Bold needed a nap so I did what all Americans do when they have time to kill and it is raining – I went to Starbucks, drank coffee and read The Onion. Good times. My flight was supposed to leave at 6:07 but didn’t go until after 7:00 which meant I got to do my own IM sprint through O’Hare to catch my connecting flight.

The best part about being at the finish is that you see people who just an hour before were doing a death shuffle and looking like they hated the world transformed into some of the happiest people in the world. They are so triumphant with hands over head, fists pumping in the air, smiles as wide as Lake Monona. Getting on that plane in Chicago I saw a guy in a Finisher jacket and congratulated him. He asked if I had done the race and I said No. He asked me if I did triathlon and I told him I was really in my first year and just working on Olympic distance events. Beaming like he’d just crossed the line he said, “You should do an Ironman – when you finish you will feel so fantastic – better than you’ve ever felt in your life!”

And that’s what it is about. It’s about pushing yourself to go the distance through hours of training, through days of missed parties, through hours of early morning darkness, through muscle soreness and fatigue that makes you question your own motives, through fear and lack of confidence and on to cover 140.6 miles in one very long, very special day. And when you do that – you feel like the person you are – YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!

Several people have asked the question – “So what about you, Mom? Is there an Ironman in your future?” The answer is “Maybe”. In fact, I am considering one for next year but I’m not sure I want to invest the time. I’m not sure I don’t. Fortunately, I have at least until November to think about it.

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There were times in transition when it got completely frenetic. We stood there yelling ‘SUN SCREEN?’ ‘SUNSCREEN??!!’ to dazed and focused athletes who were mostly thinking about what comes next and did they have all their nutrition and was it a good time to stop at a porat-potty and what? What??!! Oh – sunscreen? Sure! They were so on the move as though 30 seconds for some UV protection would mess up the day and they ended up with a thick, and probably annoying coating of goo on their shoulders. I tried not to slime them but there is only so much you can do under the circumstances. Jenny positioned herself at the end and yelled “Last chance for sunscreen” as she chased the athletes and made sure the back of their necks got some sunscreen.

I tried to keep watch for “my” athletes but I only saw a few amidst all the chaos. Tac came in and I ran over to sunscreen him and started yelling “Shake and Bake, Tac! Shake.And.Bake” and then wondered if he had ever seen Talladega Nights. He yelled “21stCentury?? NO WAY” I yelled “WAY” and he was off. Greyhound came through and I called to him. I asked him if he wanted some sunscreen and he said no but he wanted to give me a hug. It was a high point in the day. We had a quick one and then off he went wearing http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1074/1021761633_ba1f57b901.jpg“>his white batwings; targert=”_blank”. I think I saw Roman rip through T1 and that’s about all I remember.

After a few hours of that the 3 of us and the Burley headed for the bus to go see some bike action. Jumper joined us. We thought the shuttle bus line was prohibitively long but it turned out to take about 15 minutes to get on and off we went.

If I thought picking the people out in T1 was hard it was nothing compared to catching them whiz by on bikes. We had our big beautiful banners with everyone’s name on them (Jenny has pics) and we yelled and rang cowbells and had a great time out there.

Then it was time for T2 sunscreen duty. I saw more athletes. I caught Bold heading out for the run and yelled to him and held the door for the porta-potty open. He was headed straight for it when some other dazed and focused dude just cut him off and took his station! He went to the next one and when he came out he just trotted off. He was in the zone. I also got Brent Buckner and I don’t remember who else.

At 3 we headed out again to watch people on the run.

This is where the day got even more fun if that was possible. Jenny had made a sign that said, “You Know Your Reasons” and people LOVED it. We called out people’s names and yelled “Karen! This is your day! You are IronKaren” lather, rinse, and repeat over and over and over and watch the smiles grow. It was like magic. We tried to find TriMama and the Tribe at their water station but we had the wrong one and thought they had left.

You may not know this but IronMomJenny knows at least every 5th person at the Ironman. Being with her was so much fun because she was forever spotting someone she knew either racing or watching. Jenny is just the nicest, warmest, friendliest, most open person I have ever met and spending the day with her was such a pleasure. If she saw someone she thought she knew she didn’t just sit there wondering “do I know that guy?” She would just turn to him and say “Hey! Do I know you? ” If the person looked confused and said, “umm.. don’t think so” she was unfazed. “Oh – I thought I did – you look so familiar” All smiles. I so admire her confidence and candor and warm heart. And her little Ally was such a trooper. Nary a complaint all day and a long day it was.

As we wandered around State Street looking for Trimama and the tribe and trying to find a good place to stand we bumped into Kona Shelly who was on her bike. It was so great to meet her. I only wish we had had more time. She spent most of her day in the penalty tent, dinging people on time. Not a happy job but I think she enjoyed her day.

At one point Bold came running by so I jumped off the curb and ran with him for a little bit. I asked him how it was going and he said “I’m hurting!” and I said “Well, you’re still in it and you look strong” and he said “I’m trying” and I let him run off. Another high point on the day.

I saw lots of people on the run, one of my favorites being this guy who did the entire run in hiking boots, dressed like the Cat in the Hat

I wish I had more pics but Jenny got the bulk of them so we’ll just have to wait for her to have some time.

I have 1 more IM WI post in me that will cover the finish line and my new relationship to the Ironman distance as well as the ton of stuff I’ve forgotten to put in this post. As Boomer would say – stay tuned.

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